(Closed) Etiquette, schmetiquette… I need some opinions!

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jillieb: Registry info will be on the website.

The web address will be on both the save the date cards and the invite.

Post # 4
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Since i’m not using a website, the information travels through word of mouth. My bridal party is aware of where I’m registered and if anyone asks they will spread the word.

Post # 5
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

From the midwest, also lived in CA, and have definitely seen plenty of registry cards in invites. I never realized I was supposed to be offended by them until WB.

I compromised and did an insert that said, “For info on hotels, gift registry, bridal party, etc. see our website <www.weddingwebsite.com>”

Post # 6
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We’re making a wedding website and having the registry info on there.  Though, that’s because what feels the most comfortable for our approach.

Having seen the many debates that have started on this topic, my suggestion would be to go with your instincts and do what you feel is right for you and the receipients of your invites.

You said that most of the people you’ve spoken with expect it to be included–are these people you’re planning on inviting?  If so, I think that can be a good indication of the response you’ll get if you DO include them.  

But, really…I think if you listen to your instincts (rather than the etiquette beliefs from different parts of the country), you’ll have a good sense of how to handle it.  🙂  

Post # 6
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We’re making a wedding website and having the registry info on there.  Though, that’s because what feels the most comfortable for our approach.

Having seen the many debates that have started on this topic, my suggestion would be to go with your instincts and do what you feel is right for you and the receipients of your invites.

You said that most of the people you’ve spoken with expect it to be included–are these people you’re planning on inviting?  If so, I think that can be a good indication of the response you’ll get if you DO include them.  

But, really…I think if you listen to your instincts (rather than the etiquette beliefs from different parts of the country), you’ll have a good sense of how to handle it.  🙂  

Post # 7
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Personally I wouldn’t mind getting the registry information with the invitation card. I think it makes my life easier as a guest. For the weddings I went to, when there is no registry information, I just give them cash.

If everyone in your circle prefer having registry information with the invite, then why not?

Post # 8
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

I would include hun better than getting gifts you do not need.Im Turkish and thank god dont have that problem our parents buy everything for the house but we choose, so at the wedding we get $$$$$$$$$ and gold which I think is amazing.

Post # 9
Member
4372 posts
Honey bee

I’ve never seen a registry card in the invitation. I’m from AZ also. It’s always been on the website, or by word of mouth.

Post # 10
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Our info will be on our site.

I don’t think I’ve ever received an invitation with a registry card (I’m in MA). It just doesn’t seem to be done in my circle. I think I would find it mildly tacky but not hugely offensive. I just don’t think they’re necessary. There are plenty of ways for people to find out where you’re registered: your website, shower invitation (if you’re having one), word of mouth, there are even websites now that let you search all the popular stores at once for a specific name. I’ve found several friends’ registries that way.

Post # 11
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly, I never knew that was a faux pas until I started planning my wedding. If I had received an invite with registry info before this, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Now that I am “better informed” on the subject, I’d notice it more, but I wouldn’t think of the couple as rude. I say do what makes you feel most comfortable.

Post # 12
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hopefully this thread doesn’t turn into the craziness that past threads on this topic did.

Imo, registry cards should not go in the wedding invitations. If you are having a shower, registry cards can absolutely be included in or on those invitations. Posting the info on your wedding website is also a great alternative. 

This is regional though. In my area, we don’t include registry cards because people tend to find it “the T word” though it’s very acceptable in other areas. It really depends on your guests and how they would react. 

Post # 13
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m personally not offended at all by registry cards in the invitations. Most people I know don’t mind either, and I’ve seen it several times.

HOWEVER!

I am aware that some people, particularly older or more traditional people, do mind a lot. I don’t want to offend anyone! So I’m just putting the website info in the invites, and the registry info on the website. It’s easy enough for me, I don’t think it seriously inconveniences anyone, and I don’t step on a single toe. What’s to lose?

Post # 14
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i’ve heard in some cultures it’s the norm to include it, but it isn’t the norm for anyone i know. the only time i would be comfortable with it would be for the bridal shower invitations to include the registry card. the whole purpose of that event it to give gifts and someone else is hosting it in your honor, whereas a wedding you are hosting and you’re inviting them to share you day, gifts are nice but not required. (i’m from MA)

Post # 15
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m with @Beluga:. I’m in the Midwest, and I wouldn’t be horribly offended if I received an invite with registry info, but I may roll my eyes once. (Probably moreso now that I’m planning a wedding and have learned more of the ‘rules.’) We’ll put the website info on the save the date and the invite. Those who are old enough to possibly be offended at registry info on an invite will be happy because it’s not listed and they can get it by word of mouth. Those of our guests who are younger or wouldn’t care are tech savvy enough to get online and find it as well. Win-win. 

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