- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Photography/Videography: I am coming from the perspective of myself and my FI being asked (atleast one of us) to shoot video/photography for 4 out of the past 6 weddings we have gone to. Please, don’t ask your friend to shoot your wedding be it they are a pro or do it for a hobby. Unless they come forth and offer on their own accord! Even then, proceed with caution. It can be awkward for the person who is approached. Shooting weddings is A LOT of work, and exchanging money with friends (or not) can put a strain on the friendship. Also, if you like your friend, realize you are asking them to take one of their days off to shoot your wedding! Not including editing, which can take hours. If they have a date along with them, their date gets abandoned because they are working! Also, while your friend may be at your wedding, they don’t really get to enjoy it as your friend, because they are busy working, like the catering staff! Let them enjoy your big day too! If you really feel strongly about having photos taken by your friend, save your photography friend for your engagement portraits!! That is short and sweet, and doesn’t take away from them celebrating with you.
Free labor: If you count manning the wine bar for half an hour at our friends reception, my FI and I have worked 5 of the 6 of the weddings we have attended (this is including the 4 where atleast one of us have done videography/photography). Saying ‘no’ is not something we have done thus far, though we have wanted to. I am not sure there really is a polite way to decline without affecting the friendship. I have also watched some of the wedding shows on TLC and I just think it is always so horrifying to watch peoples friends ‘work’ their wedding, in any manner really. Helping seat people, serving food, etc. Its all bad I think.
I firmly feel as though if I care enough about a friend to invite them to my wedding, they deserve to enjoy it, and not have to work as part of their attendance. This might mean going without some things.
With that being said, my FI and I are planning to elope! I think it will be great, and really special for us! We aren’t in a place financially to host even a small wedding (saving for a house is a higher priority). I just don’t think it is fair to recruit friends for things that really ought to be paid for. Even though we have paid it forward so to say with helping our friends so many times, I just wouldn’t feel right about requesting the favor back.