Post # 1
So last week I was all, “Whoop-de-do! We bought a new house!” But over the weekend, my DH and I found ourselves, for the lack of a better word, grieving the loss of our current home. We still love it. We are just moving on to a bigger home with more options (read: bedrooms for kids, second living space, etc). But we are still sad about letting go of our current place. It is our first home together. It not only represents where we started our marriage, but it is where he proposed to me, too. I know this is a bit silly and a bit of a first world problem, but I just wanted to let it out. We are both still pretty sure we’re doing the right thing. But reality set in and we realized how much will change as a result. My DH said, “I think it is because we haven’t fully outgrown it yet.” Our original plan was to outgrow the house, but as we crunched the numbers we realized it was best to move now. It all happened so quickly (3 weeks from starting to look to finding a place) and I think we got a little emotional whiplash.
For the record, I still feel and recognize that I am incredibly blessed. I’m not trying to complain. I’m thankful this is the worst of my current problems. I’m just amazed at the sudden onset of sadness I feel over selling our current home. I was raised moving from state to state and never got too attached to any one place. This nostalgic feeling is rather new to me. I’m not sure how to shake it off.
Post # 2
I’m with you. My DH and I just had an offer accepted on a home, and we have seriously outgrown our little apartment, but I still feel sad and scared to move. I know in my head that it’s for the best and we will all be happier, but a big part of me wants to hide under a blanket and avoid all the change!
Post # 3
Moving is always a sad moment. I don’t think I’ve ever left an apartment or dorm room for the final time without taking that long moment standing in the doorway and sighing, remembering all the awesome fun things that happened there — things that won’t ever be happening again (especially leaving my senior year dorm room at college, oh god I think I cried). Just know that the feeling will pass, and as you pour yourself into getting the new place all decorated and furnished to your standards, you’ll be making tons of new memories to cherish 🙂
Post # 4
howtobeawife: 🙁 change is hard, even if it is for the better. We live in a tiny home and I know one of these days we’ll move into a larger home like you, but as much as I hate our home (it is too tiny) it is our home and I’ll miss it too when we leave. But think of it like this, you have a new house to make new memories in 🙂
Post # 5
I completely understand what you’re saying, and I think it’s perfectly fine to have those emotions. Moving is a big step, and in some ways you feel like you are leaving memories behind. I will feel the same way if we ever move as it is where my SO proposed to me as well, and where we will be starting our life together. Moving forward is a part of life though, and you’ll always have your old memories and make new ones as well.
Post # 6
KitKatNYC: Let’s both go home and make forts in our living rooms, shall we? 🙂 It’s actually quite tempting. Congrats on your new house and thanks for sympathizing with me!
iarebridezilla: mrs.joiner: Squirrelz15: You are all so right to point out that we will be making new memories in our new home. I do look forward to a home with little kids running around 🙂
Post # 7
Just the thought of selling our current house makes me sad! We bought it as our first and forever home and have done so much to it. It’s *our* house! But if we only have one child or end up not being able to have any, it wouldnt make sense to stay and we’ve already said we should downsize if it came to that.
Post # 8
That’s totally understandable. I think it might be the quickness of everything that’s making it a little harder for you as well. Your mind needs some time to mentally prepare and the housing process is something that usually takes a while!
To offer another perspective, my husband and I (and two dogs) have severely outgrown our current home. We won’t be able to move for a while and I seriously cannot wait. But even so, I know we wil both miss it terribly when that happens. A lot of important milestones happened while living in this place and it’s a big part of our lives.
Congrats on your new home!!
Post # 9
I completely understand and can sympathize with you! DH and I purchased our first home together (which was way too big for just the two of us) and thought we would live there for years, and raise our kids there. We were engaged just a week before we found that house, we had so many wonderful parties/bbqs and even had our wedding dinner there. Summer of last year, we realized that we didn’t want to live in the suburbs anymore, and sold our beautiful home for a condo that was 1/4 the size of our house so that we could live inner-city.
When the house was empty, DH had driven away, and I just wandered around the house alone, and remembered all the good times we had there. It was bitter-sweet for sure.
Now that I’ve had a few months to process this, I do miss the house sometimes, but I love our new “hip-inner city” life. We are so much happier with a place that better suits us now and I hope you will be too!
Post # 10
howtobeawife: Also this could be your forever home 🙂 My godmother and godfather moved when their son was three and daughter was six, and they have lived in that home since. It has become their forever home, and yes they made wonderful memories in their old home, but the home they live in now, is the home they have made their forever memories in.
Post # 11
howtobeawife: Congratulations on your new home! I like your phase “emotional whiplash.” I totally know what you mean. I’m awful with change, even change I *want* to happen. And when things move as quickly as things are moving for you right now? I don’t blame you at all for being a little unsettled!
We recently purchased our first house, and I was having your feelings of sadness over even just leaving our apartment. Even though it was *just* an apartment, it was our first home together. It’s where we returned to from our honeymoon and started living together for the first time. It’s where we spent the first few years of our marriage.
So even though I was THRILLED to finally be getting our first home, there was still part of me that was a little sad.
KitKatNYC: We just went through the SAME thing. I’m a few months into “the other side,” and I’m happy to report that we are really enjoying our new home and are really looking forward to creating memories there. 🙂
Moving on is a part of life (says the girl who hates change). I think it’s okay to be a little sad, but don’t forget to focus on all the positives of this change!
A few things that helped us were painting our new place (made it feel more like “ours”), inviting friends and family over to start to create memories in our new house, and also just taking some down time to soak in the new and remember how very lucky we are.
Good luck to both of you with your moves!!!! And congratulations!!!
Post # 12
Oh my gosh – are you kidding? When I left MY apartment for the last time and handed over the keys I bawled my eyes out!
My life was perfect! Then-boyfriend-now-DH and I had just moved in together to a fabulous 2BR apartment in a great location. It already felt like home after just one week! Nothing ever fellt so right!
But all that happiness didn’t mean I was happy to leave my old place. I loved my old place! It meant so much to me. So of course it as still hard to leave. Not because I had any doubts about moving in with future-DH, just because it’s hard to let go and say goodbye.
But really, once I had myself a good cry, I was ok with it. You should find something cathartic that works for you. Something to help you say goodbye.
Post # 13
Moving is totally a sentimental time! You have to go through all your old stuff, and then it’s sad seeing the empty space where your stuff once was. But there will be so many new adventures and memories in your new place! It’s ok!
Post # 14
Ugh I’ve been so worried about these feelings even though I know they are natural and I’ll get over it. We’re going to move next year and I am so excited, but also dreading leaving this place. I’ve owned it for years and EVERYTHING happened here. I even met DH here when he knocked on my door. I fell in love with him here, we’ve made our first home together here, and even though I know we need to sell it and move (650 square feet in Manhattan = not how we want to raise a family) I wish we could keep it AND get a new house.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
Your post title sums it up perfectly! A year ago DH and I moved away from all of our friends and family in NY to start a new life in NC. It was 100% our choice, but it was hands down one of the hardest things we’ve done. We are so happy here (we just bought some land and are building a house!) and I still miss our old life in NY, but I’ve really come to love our new life here as well.
As far as shaking it off, try to focus on all the positives your new home will bring you! Talking to DH about all of the great things about our new home would have helped a lot. Keep it positive! And I know it sounds silly, but it’s also okay to take time to say goodbye and to process all of the emotions you’re feeling. There were many times while we were packing up that I would just take a break, walk around the apartment a bit and reminisce about the great times we shared.
Congratulations on your home! And on a new, exciting chapter in your lives!