Even his mom thinks we are engaged…

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I was with my FI for 10 years before he proposed (started dating at 15). I would never consider myself to have been ‘waiting’ because we both agreed that we wanted to wait until we were finished with school and had stable careers, but for all intents and purposes we were basically living a married life without even being engaged. At one point my mom suggested we just go to the courthouse so that my FI could go on my health insurance (my work offers better plans than his). Romantic, huh?

My FI surprised me and proposed randomly one day. It was perfect. I had never asked when it was going to happen. I never pushed him or pressured. Like you, we were very open with our plans and expectations. There was a point when we were in college and said, “we should get married in 2010!” But we didn’t graduate until 2009 and then the job search in this economy was a hurdle in itself. So yeah, we had loose plans that fell through.

While I was never ‘waiting’ or obsessing over when it would happen (heck I really never thought about it at all) it was awkward to tell people that, “this is my boyfriend of 10 years.” I got lots of side eyes over that one lol.

It sounds like you guys have really discussed it quite a bit and are on the same page. Maybe you should just bring it up one day and say something like, “I really can’t wait to be officially engaged. I’m so excited!!” and see what he says. That way you aren’t putting him on the spot with a direct question, but you might get a feel of whats going on.

Post # 4
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Jazzylove:  I’m on the same middle-ground, so I know how you feel but I cannot offer you any help. We have talked, looked for venues and Churches… but he hasn’t asked yet. SO’s parents don’t know yet (because we’re waiting until his brother’s wedding to break the news) but my mother and siblings do, and they are all like… Ok, so what’s going on? Are you engaged or not? It’s a bit frustrating not knowing what to call him anymore. He is obviously not only my BF now, yet he is not my FI either.

Let me know if you hear any good advice for this situation!

Post # 5
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Jazzylove:  My SO and I have been “dating” for 8 years and we will be getting married next year. We are not yet officially engaged either. We discussed it, settled on a possible month and my SO wanted to go from there. I felt a little off with moving on from there (I dunno why) so I told him that I would like a proposal before anything official is done.

 

Some may be ashamed to say but I am a waiting bee. I want him to officially propose (so I guess we are opposite there). I am waiting for it to officially happen and the waiting is easier when I take a step back from wedding planning. My SO is very slowly informing family of our plans and so am I. We are already getting a lot of advice and recommendations too. A few members of both of our families are already planning to help out with a lot of things. I just want him to ask already!!

 

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