Post # 1
It’s just a vent really- no one else is available. It’s been on my mind for awhile and I keep thinking about it- decided it’s time to get it off my chest.
This weekend FI and I were talking about wedding planning (originally I wanted to elope- FI wants wedding). I agreed to the wedding/reception etc, but not looking forward to the planning. It came up with the people we would want to stand up with us. He has 6 friends he wants to include! Me- ONE! I have 5 other girls that I would love to have but- they have issues with each other and don’t get along. Based on previous engagements/parties/get togethers. It did not go well- and ended up people having hissy fits and hurt feelings. I love them all very dearly, they just can’t stand each other. I don’t want to deal with that while in the process of wedding planning and the day of.
I told him we could have uneven sides- it didn’t matter to me. And my friend that I would like up there has a very big and loving personality! She has enough spunk to cover for 5 extra people! (I said it in a joking matter, trying to make the conversation not so serious). It was the wrong thing to say. He wants even parties because otherwise it will look funny in pictures and people will ask questions. After about 30 mins of discussing this I just said we weren’t getting anywhere new and maybe to take a break from the talk.
Thing is- I’ve been thinking about this conversation constantly since it happened. And I just don’t see why I should have to include 5 other girls and I don’t see why FI just can’t have his 6.
Just a vent- it’s the first thing in this wedding plannng process (haven’t really started!) that there has been a major disagreement. In the big scheme of things it’s small I know and there are bigger things to worry about. Trying to get over the first bump in the road I guess.
Thanks for listening!
Post # 2
we’re JUST at this stage too! we’re doing a DW, so 3/4 girls have committed and 4/4 guys have. the BM on my side who hasn’t yet JUST had a baby and she has a lot going on. i told her that i’d hold the spot and if she can come, great, and if she can’t, that’s okay too.
FI is also saying that uneven sides looks weird. but the thing is, i don’t want to throw just “anyone” on my side to even things out. we don’t know for sure if my BM can come, but now that we’ve added the info on the website, we’ve already had people ask about our uneven numbers lol *facepalm*
i’m starting to realize that weddings somehow remove people’s filters haha. sheesh.
Post # 3
BeezWaxx: I’m not officially planning yet, but my SO and I have discussed this in depth — he has two good friends he would want to stand up for him, but they’re completely unreliable and a bit uncouth when it comes to being in public (sounds worse than it is, probably). Either way, he doesn’t think he can count on them to be helpful, and I have three — two girls and a guy. I think all of them would love to help out, but my guy friend lives out of state and my girlfriends are both elementary school teachers who are constantly worried about money — I don’t want to put any planning/financial onuses on them. So we have been discussing nixing the wedding party altogether as it seems nice that we would be up there alone (with the officiant).
Have you considered going without a wedding party or is your FI against that? Also, for the record, I don’t think it matters as long as they’re the people you want up there
Post # 4
Sorry you’re going through this too! But honestly it is nice to know I’m not alone.
Post # 5
I haven’t thought about no bridal party! But during the conversation FI said he couldn’t imagine getting married without his guys up there. I wouldn’t have a problem with no bridal party- I think it’s a pretty good idea. I’ll have to bring that up tonight when we talk about it again. Thanks!
Post # 6
BeezWaxx: You’re welcome & I hope everything works out! You can always have everyone sit together for the reception too, even if they aren’t standing up at the ceremony. Good luck!
Post # 7
We’re having very uneven bridal parties (me 6 and him 2) and it hasn’t bothered me in the slightest. I think it’ll make the pictures look a little more interesting! I wasn’t willing to cut down my bridal party and he wasn’t willing to add to his, so to each his own :).