Post # 1
My fiance and I were watching TV and a small wedding ceremony came on the screen. He talked about how nice it was with just friends and family. Our current number is 35 and he feels the whole idea of our wedding isn’t really worth it. Here’s why.
1. Mommy and Daddy are flying in from America. They are the only ones from my family that could afford it.
2. Mom said NOT to come to America to have the wedding because its just too much hastle for her. However, after my difficulties with venues, her friends backing out of the trip, and her having to fly 14 hours—- she changed her mind. Now she says, you should have come to America!!!!!!!! ****Note** 2 months before the WEDDING!
3. Japan is ridiculously overpriced in their wedding industry! I envisioned a beautiful garden with my white dress and my handsome samaurai prince!! (Haha!! ^_^) Nope! They shot that image down very quickly. But, I moved on and found a venue after extensive searching. Its gorgeous and suits our needs while maintain a decent price. *** REAL VENUE ^_^ BIRDS EYE VIEW***
But now TONIGHT my fiance says that he feels that we are spending too much money and the whole thing is too much trouble. He says that he was trying to do what made me happy but that he was happy just being married.
Now I am not an extravegant bride. I must say that I am doing my best to be thrifty. Can a girl get a break? I can’t help my life long dream to wear a beautiful dress, have gorgeous pictures, and marry a great man.
Does anyone else starting to regret their wedding?
Post # 3
as long as you can afford it, you shouldn’t regret your wedding. did you tell your fi that you’ve always dreamed of the beautiful dress and gorgeous pictures? he probably just doesn’t understand the emotional aspect of the wedding, because he’s a man and probably never dreamed about his wedding as a little boy.
you have no reason to regret your wedding. it’s definitely worth it! explain your feelings to fi, and i’m sure he’ll understand.
Post # 4
Thanks! I am trying to look at this postitivley myself but after all the work and confusion as well as the lack of time for other things my joy is dwendleing. I definetly miss my family and wish they could all be here. If Mom hadn’t been so against me coming home I might have done everything differently. The whole process from family envolvment,venue choices, dress options, everything isn’t quite what I expected.
I am looking for the joy in getting married. Its so tedious that my Fiance and I haven’t had much time to be tigether.
Post # 5
The closer it gets to the wedding the more I start having similar feelings. I think that as long as you aren’t spending an outrageous amount that is causing huge financial problems in your life, and that you are doing what you want thats all that matters.
Post # 6
thats how i feel sometimes! but i think is normal, but you should get what you can afford
Post # 7
Our wedding is still many months out. Everyday i tell my FI that at any point he wants to back out and go elope, i am perfectly ok with cutting our losses on deposits, etc and just doing that.
There are so many other things we could be doing with this money such as home improvements or paying his student loans. There are also starving children in the world and I paying $50 per person for dinner. It just seems wrong.
He hasnt taken me up on it yet…
Post # 8
We’re trying to stick to a small budget of around $7-8k for about 70 people and there are days when that still feels like a ridiculously huge amount of money to spend on one day. Not to mention how stressed out I am trying to plan it all. So yes, some days I definitely wish we had decided to just elope. But I know I’d end up regretting not sharing our day with our closest friends and family.
Post # 9
Eh, I don’t regret having a wedding… but I do get annoyed by it at times. Don’t get me wrong, it’s going to happen. But family is so annoying about it and everyone has opinions and wants to control it. It would be easier if they would just be quiet a listen to my ideas. That’s my experience for what it’s worth.
I don’t think it’s too inconvenient for your mom to fly to Japan for your wedding day. Just tell her you really want her to be there. Goodluck!
Post # 10
I love how you think! We are only having 35 people but its customary to spend about $100-$150 per person on food. I am trying to understand this rule but its quite expensive. Plus the extras.
Post # 11
I totally agree. I think it would be a better experience if some of this was going towards my loved ones though. I am only entertaining his friends and family. I don’t have many people here except for a handfull of friends. I started thinking about who I am tossing the bouquet too and got sad because I have no idea.
Post # 12
I started to regret it once it was “too late”; deposits had been made. I didn’t really see an alternative for us to begin with though so we stuck with it. I got through it and I totally think it was worth all the hard work and stress because it was such a great day! Not that everything went perfectly, because it never does, but that we had the wedding that we wanted. Yes it was on a budget, and we had to say no to some things, but all the important things were there: us getting married and our family and friends to celebrate with.
@iheartnerds: i also didn’t want to regret not having a wedding. i knew we both wanted a wedding, so we made it work on our budget.
@adw2c: maybe you can have a celebration later in the U.S. with more of your family and friends? you’re in a tough situation. all i can say is try to focus on the positive: you do have some family and friends going. also, i think it’s really important for you and your FI to make time for each other. i know it seems like there’s no time, especially only 2 months away, but you’re seeing the effects of not making time. a little quality time goes a long way. have a date night where you don’t even talk about the wedding. you probably need a break too from the planning. it’ll be time well spent for both of you and for your relationship. =)
Post # 13
I’ve been following your posts for a while and I’m sorry to hear about his change! 🙁 Hang in there, tell him it’s simply what you’ve always dreamed of and stick it out. Plus, I REALLY think you should apply to be a BEE if you have any time to blog. I LOVE your posts and the pics and your style are such a breath of fresh air!!
Post # 14
Thanks so much for that! Your advice really helped. My honey and I have been doing way too much planning. Everyday its “did you call these people?” “did you get this done?” “hey baby translate this into English!”
I need to chill and he does too! We had a breakdown moment today. Hadn’t fought like that in almost 5 years. I love my man so I need to show it. This is about us and not about them. I will try and do whats best for out guests and our day but a breather is best.
Post # 15
Omg!! Thanks so much. I am flattered to have a fan! Haha!! Just kidding. I do love this board. Its helped me plan so much of my wedding. I love the advice from the ladies and the opportunity to think things through.
I am glad we had our breakdown moment because now we can move on and try to get our life back on track. I think I let the time pressure get to me. I feel like there are a ton of things that need to be done NOW and we hardly can get to them. Hummm maybe I can relax now.