Ever feel like your plans are falling apart…and you're numb?

posted 2 years ago in College
Post # 2
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It sounds like you don’t have motivation because there’s really no goal in sight. What are you studying for? What Master’s program were you planning on taking? Maybe you’re just not super excited about that and are just going through the motions. If you’re not sure where you see yourself long term, career wise, I would start there first.

Post # 3
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

When I was struggling to keep up with my studies, I always told myself why I was doing it.  So I could get a better job, so I could make my parents and myself proud, so I could become a better person… You will have your own reasons.  Maybe you can try telling yourself why you’re doing it (moving out and marriage).  

Best of luck!

Post # 4
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m sorry about the failed courses. It may have been due to a lack of effort on your part but it’s still disappointing.

How do you feel about your course of study? I HATED what I studied at university so it was very hard for me to apply myself, although I didn’t fail anything. Could it be that? In my case, I just gritted my teeth and pushed on while counting down the days until I would be done with that wretched course of study.

On a different note, have you found yourself feeling listless or generally unhappy/angry/anxious/detached? In my case, I was also suffering from depression and anxiety at that time and that made it even harder for me to care about my future. Could that be the case with you? Or do you have any outside stressors that might be distracting you?

I think it’s totally normal to hit a wall in university though, especially if you didn’t take any breaks between high school and college or your bachelor’s and your master’s.

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  papillon20.
Post # 5
Member
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

This is a new feeling for you? 

does anyone WANT to study and do assignments? nope, but they do because it’s necessary. does anyone WANT to go to work every day? not likely, but they do because it’s necessary. I would say your motivation should be: because you need to act like an adult and suck it up. 

Post # 7
Member
4752 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m assuming you live at home? I am living an hour and a half away from my grandfather and I was his care taker. I did this all last semester and then right before this semester he passed away. I am now in charge of his estate and I have had to fight my cousins and deal with legal stuff all semester. I had one professor tell me I should withdraw…My motivation? Damnit, I am determined to graduate in May in the stadium, not in December in the gym. I may not be making all A’s but I still have pretty damn good grades considering what I am dealing with. Not doing it because you don’t feel like it is a horrible excuse. I procrastinate, but I do what I have to do to make sure shit is done.

Post # 9
Member
6021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Christmas shouldn’t be stressful. If Christmas stresses you out, then you’re doing it wrong.

Post # 10
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

Jacqui90:  I really think you need to go back to your doctor and your psychiatrist /psychologist and let them know how you are feeling. I think this numbness all stems from your mental illnesses and you need to focus on getting them in check.

Everyone goes through a period of not being motivated but most people find it easy to simply push through these stages where they seem to really get to you, and you need to address that with your doctor. 

 

On a side note, if you are struggling with your Advanced Diploma, please consider if you think attempting a Masters, and then your CPA, is the right option for you. I have had a number of friends go through their Masters who all said it was the hardest year of their life. It is a lot of hard work and they all really struggled to stay motivated. Some of these are the smartest, most level headed and committed people I know. I also have one friend who has JUST finished her CPA, it’s another 4 (I think) years of study on top of the full time work you have to put in to build up the hours. All studying on your own time, motivating yourself, and it all falls on one big exam at the end of the unit. You say you don’t deal well with added stressors so I wonder if it’s the right choice for you. 

I don’t mean to put down your goals but I just don’t want you to end up in way over your head with your studies, when you should probably be focusing on your health. 

Post # 11
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I would lose my shit if I failed three classes, because I am paying for my college education myself and working two jobs to put myself through school. It pisses me off that some people can literally afford to just fail three classes, you’re lucky you have that option. 

I don’t really see where the problem is? Like do you face any real consequences for failing these classes, like not being able to afford an extra semester or something? 

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  coachhw.
Post # 12
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Jacqui90:  Ah, well there you go. Your mental health issues are definitely, definitely contributing to your lack of motivation and feelings of numbness. One of the major symptoms of depression is losing interest in things that used to be important to you and feeling little to nothing. Please go back to your doctor soon and have that evaluation done.

Are you seeing a therapist/psychologist/counselor? If not, I would also recommend seeing someone, even just temporarily. If you can’t afford someone privately, your university’s health service should have mental health professionals you can speak to. Those are a lot of issues you’re juggling on top of your school work and other responsibilities. It might be good to have a few sessions to help you sort through your feelings and clarify things. You might not realize just how much these things are affecting you. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with those issues, by the way. It sucks and it can really take you to a dark place. I don’t wish that on anyone and if you can get help, you should. Don’t feel bad that the medication isn’t working as it should be. It takes awhile sometimes to find something that works and medication by itself is not always enough.

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  papillon20.
Post # 13
Member
7385 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Jacqui90:  Listen to OneDayMrsL: . Her advice is spot on.

But I am going to be serious with you. I used to work at a University and part of my role was evaluating applicants to the masters progrm. Even with special consideration due to you mental illness, your repeated failure to complete courses and failing grades would exclude you from consideration. 

I think you should consider making an appointment with a careers counsellor at your university. 

Post # 14
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Finishing your degree was supposed to equal a good job which was supposed to equal marriage.  I would think that marrying the man of your dreams would be motivation enough to get through your classes with passing grades.  Even if the grades were just at passing.

What does your FI say about all of this? 

How can you blame Christmas stress when the Christmas season just started?  I mean, your courses had to have ended prior to Dec. 1st.  To think about Christmas and stress over it even before Dec. 1 is seriously long before even needing to think about Christmas.  Here in America, the Christmas season kicks off the day after Thanksgiving … which was not even a week ago. Do they start Christmas shopping and whatnot in October or early November in AU?   And what stress do you have for Christmas?  You’ve obviously done holidays with your family and his, so that’s nothing new nor a stresser.  Is it finding the perfect gift?  Why are you stressing about that in Sept/Oct./early to mid Nov.?  My gosh, I haven’t even thought about Christmas shopping yet.  There are still 23 days to take care of that in. 

 

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Ellicott.
Post # 15
Member
2679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I had to drop out of college after a year and a semester because the school made a clerical error and reversed all of my financial aid for my first year. I couldn’t afford to pay them back (after two years I am still paying it off) so I had to leave. Since then I have been working as a manager in food service, I’m stuck in a dead end job with no hope of moving up without kissing ass to a bunch of people that I don’t really like. I know exactly how you feel, but I am just trying to focus on working day in and out to pay for my wedding and then after that I can go back to school and hopefully get into a career that I will enjoy. I will be at least five years older than anyone else that I am going to school list, but I am hoping it will all work out. Sigh.

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