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I'll take him! I am actually new to posting on the boards. I have been stalking weddingbee for months now. I am not even in a relationship but I love coming on here and reading all of the posts. I am totally addicted! I leave it open all day long on my office computer and am constantly refreshing the screen.
What's with those guys calling? hmmm. Another posted had an ex call and she just posted about it!
I agree, dinner is different than lunch or coffee. Just because he "could've been" in another time doesn't mean he is now. though.
No he's not. I wonder though what would have happened if say, I lived in an alternate universe?
It was just not the right timing but I sure would like to see him happy and finally settle down.
He has never been married. He was engaged once and she broke his heart. He'd just graduated med school (he's from Chicago originally) and accepted his residency down south (he's always wanted to live in the south) and she refused to move to the south (I mean why? It's FABULOUS down here!) so she broke his heart and they broke their engagement.
That poor guy didn't date for four years after that. We were just really good friends, but we did try dating one time or two, but I just felt no butterflies b/c we were such good friends.
I have a guy like this. We were friends in college. Always interested in dating each other but it was never the right time (he was seeing someone/I was seeing someone) He was smart, cute, funny, and we had the same taste in music. He introduced me to the music of my now-favorite band. We had similar interests and both adventurous, liked to party, etc.
I'm still friends with him on FB and such but haven't seen him in years. When friends and I talk about the mystical guy-that-could-have been (in all of our lives) we always mention him haha
Oh that's rough! I don't have any 'could of been' guys but I do have a lot of 'what if's. Like I wonder what would of become of me had I stayed with someone. I just don't have anyone that I'd be tormented by if I heard from him. But, what's weird is that there are these 2 boys, both a few years older than me. I went to HS with one and I worked with the other. The first guy was amazing but I decided to leave him for the "bad guy", great move. He went in the army and I never saw him again. The other I was infatuated with, I thought he was PERFECT (in fact, that was the nickname we'd given him). He never exactly reciprocated the feelings and then he went into the army... I wonder if I'm driving men overseas?... anyhoo, I always always think about them. Given the times we're in I just hope they're both living well, I would die if I heard something horrible happened to them. Do they count as could of been guys?
But you're right, dinner is a bit sketchy. My FI would not be pleased at all.
I have to agree that dinner might send the wrong message - lunch is one thing, but dinner is a whole different story. I think you made the right choice Bellenga!
Hmm I think I could have a "could've been" guy. We dated but the timing just wasn't right. I was 20, he was 28 and I still had 2.5 years of college left. We had a great time together for about 8 months but then he realized he wanted things I wasn't ready for. So he broke my heart (at least I thought so at the time!) and we went our separate ways.
Once in awhile I wonder what would have happened if we had met now as opposed to six years ago... but then I also know that if we hadn't met six years ago I probably would not be married to my wonderful husband!
everyone has their could have beens... lol.. i definitely say don't go to dinner with him, that's a completely different connotation than coffee... so stick to your guns girlie!!
Me! My best guy friend from college. Freshman year he had a thing for me but I was in a serious relationship at the time (so was he actually till later that year). We became best friends and did everything together. During the next 4 years we were always on the right page at the wrong time! When he was into me I was with someone else and vice-versa.
He is the sweetest most carring guy and has always been there for me. When things were bad he was there to pick up the pieces. I don't know how many times he came to cheer me up in the middle of the night after a break up or to bring me soup when I was sick...We went to all my sorority formals with me when I didn't have a date and was just someone I always thought I would end up with once we got on the same page. That is until I met FH.
Now I'm with the love of my life and he is actually dating someone (I'm so glad to see him finally let someone in again after all these years). We still keep in contact here and there but he lives in another state.
Belle- I would totally catch up with him (simple and low key). He knows or soon will know that your with your SO but there is nothing like old friends to share memories with
Let us know how it goes... hopefully it goes well and you are able to enjoy a meal together as friends :)
A couple months ago I had two ex's (that I had not spoken to either in several years) message me in one week. And they don't even know each other. What a coincidence.
Kind of...although in the end he was more of a "bug lamp" than a "could have been." You know, the kind you go back to again and again, even though you keep getting zapped? I was infatuated with the guy for YEARS. From about 8th grade until the year after I graduated college, how sad is that? We got to be friends in high school, and occasionally added some (mild) benefits to the friendship after that, but I always felt that he viewed me as someone safe to come back to when there was nobody else in the picture. Finally, everything I felt just died and I really didn't care anymore...which was the time he chose to move nearby and to decide that he wanted a real relationship, wanted to see where things would go now that we were living 10 minutes from each other, blah blah blah. He was really upset when I said that he'd waited too long and that I no longer felt the same way. A few months after that, I started dating DH and the rest is history...though I do sometimes think about how awkward it would be to run into Bug Lamp Guy in the grocery store. Ick.
Thanks and I do agree lunch rather than dinner is appropriate. It's just wierd how sometimes life takes you the direction in which it does.
Funny, but I do not consider my ex husband my "could've been" guy. He was just wrong...the "simply wrong" guy.
Isn't it interesting to stop and think which way life would take you had you chosen a different path?
Oh and I did introduce him to a girlfriend of his. He dated her about 5 months and this is what's wierd...he dumped her b/c she freaked on the fact he was such close friends with me! Heck I introduced them! He even sent her flowers to work (she and I used to work together). She finally said one day to him "it's either Belle (not my real name btw) or me. You can't be friends with her and date me." He dumped her. We actually laugh about that now.
I do have to say. It might feel strange if he's at the wedding. Just a wee bit.
Isn't it interesting how your life takes different twists and turns? I think timing is everything when it comes to relationships. I don't have a "could have been" guy, as I honestly wasn't really as serious in other relationships as I was with The Hubs. He, however, has an "almost was" girl...they dated for the first many years of our friendship. They broke up long before we ever started dating and since we got together, she tried to strike up a friendship with me. I always felt kinda weird about that...
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He's a really good friend but we've lost touch over the last 3 years and let's face it, I've been in a serious relationship the last 2!
We actually went out a few years back on a few dates and it went great, but then he transferred to another state for his medical practice. He's cute, tall, intelligent, practically a concert pianist and witty.
Anyhow, he left me a voicemail a few minutes ago (I'm really busy) and it said "Hey Belle, this is X, I'm coming to ATL tomorrow and I am going to buy you dinner. It's been 3 years too late."
Now I've got to let him down. I hate it for him, he's really a wonderful and good looking guy. He was always sweet to my little boy too. But he's not the one for me b/c time has allowed me to move in a different direction.
Well if any of you have a single, beautiful, intelligent friend or bm who's located in or near the TN/GA border, lemme know b/c my friend is a catch.
I wonder what would have happened had he acted on this 3 years ago? Who knows. But he definitely (along with my college bf) falls into the "could've been" category.
I know I could have lunch with him just as friends, but to me, dinner has a different connotation..and of course he'd have to know I'm practically engaged.