Ever had the feeling it will never happen for you?..

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am currently 28 years old and getting married in October, by then I will have turned 29. We both want children…and yes the thought of me probably being in my early 30s and not being able to have them is a scary one. However, I am not closed off to the idea of adopting so I can still have a child and love one…even if they aren’t from my own womb.

Post # 4
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

Mistress_K:  i feel you. I have been engaged since December 5, 2013, and my FI and I really want kids. I have always feared being unable to bear children. Last month, i was having horrible bleeding and pains. After tests, doctor shared I may be unable to conceive due to my eggs not maturing. MY WOMANLY EGO GOT BEAT!

But, with my FI, we have continued to explore other options (Invitro, surrogate, adoption).

I still fear the process, but I hope to be a happy mother and have a happy family no matter what.

Post # 5
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

I have a very similar fear to you in relation to your first fear! I am 27, will be 27 June 1, we are getting married next fall and potentially TTC after the wedding – only that I have another curveball where I have endometriosis, and a few years ago was placed on full birth control to stop periods and then have had my IUD in now for 1.5 yrs – so we will have to somewhat plan as will have to get that out before try – but I worry. There are times where it nags and I get sad, freaked out, depressed that we’ll start trying and it’ll be a process and won’t happen either for quite some time (which by that time I’ll be 28 TTC) or never will – my aunt had endometriosis and she was never able to have children – and the thought freaks me out. My FI knows my situation and my fears (he likes to joke his swimmers are silver bullets and will knock me up first try to cheer me up lol) and says we can try fertility etc – but then THAT brings up other fears on going through treatments, how many, how long etc. I don’t think it helps that a friend of mine has been TTC and has had 3 miscarraiges and another woman at work has been also and just miscarried a couple months ago – lady at the gym I go to has miscarried 4 times and another lady just miscarried 4 months in….. yeah….. So it can be a nagging fear when it creeps up, and I know there are options and somehow we will make our wonderful family no matter how we do it, but yes it still scares me and I’m still praying for silver bullets. 

Post # 6
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

That’s a rational fear. I’m 30, have had times in my youth where I wasnt careful- with no consequences. So a little part of me wonders if there was a medical reason and not just luck? So, I’m with you. 

Post # 7
Member
398 posts
Helper bee

I was scared as well that I would not be able to conceive (at 36!). With all the stories one reads on the internet, it is easy to assume the worst. It worked for us on the 2nd cycle after I came off the pill. It looks like you are healthy and have not had any medical issues yet – so don’t stress before time.  

Post # 8
Member
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m 31, but I’m definitely at the point where I feel as if I’ll never get pregnant (again–we have a DD that is nearing 10). I feel like we waited too long to add to our family, DH’s libido is almost non-existant (getting him to DTD is like pulling teeth) and I’m just fed up. I’m frustrated, I feel neglected and sometimes I’m just so over it… but in my heart of hearts I know I want another bab more than anything.

Post # 9
Member
296 posts
Helper bee

Mistress_K:  mine is the exact same fear and I have a similar story! I am 26 as well (27 next week) and got married recently, but before that my now husband and I had been together for 5 years. 4 of those years we used no birth control whatsoever, only withdrawl method! We have now been TTC for 2 cycles with no luck and I am trying to stay calm! Getting pregnant isn’t as easy as they make it seem in high school sex ed. 

Post # 11
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I think it is a rational fear. We are currently in our fourth cycle TTC, with a probable previous M/C. I am 30. Quite a few of my friends have had accidental pregnancies despite being on BC, so I naively assumed that it was easy to get pregnant.

Turns out… not so much.

Post # 12
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you’re not alone in your first fear. Mine was that, but then we had no issues conceiving (was 29 when we started trying, now 30 and 25 weeks pregnant). 

My other big one is that I will get breast cancer. For whatever reason I’ve always been convinced I will get it for sure, I guess that makes me more vigilant. 

Post # 13
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Mistress_K:  …bt i have never been pregnant or had any MC that i know of?.. Am i lucky or not able to?!.. I havnt had tests done etc we want to try naturally once we are married and if nothing after a year we will get tested.. It just nags at the back of my mind every now and again..

I would venture to guess that your experience of not being pregnant and not having miscarriages ahead of you TTC is very, very normal. It’s not a sign of ANYTHING!

Post # 14
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I had a similar fear That I’d never be able to get pregnant. I’d been having sex for almost 20 years. Never had a pregnancy. Never even had a scare.  And I was also afraid that I’d never get married. 

I met DH a month before I turned 36. We got married when I was 38 (August 2013). I turned 39 in November and got a BFP 3 days later (and we had a few setbacks, but nothing major or due to my age). I’m now 27+ weeks and all is wonderful. 

its a a totally rational fear. But just because you’ve never Ben pregnant doesn’t mean it will be a hard process 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Mistress_K:  i feel the same way about children. im 27 and havent had an accident baby. hehe. and we know thats super common so what if that means somethings wrong with me? i havent played it that safe. it nags at me too. people are asking me all the time now, when will you try. every time they do it enters my head that i might not ever be able to have children.. and maybe this feeling i have is some forshadowing. but im glad you posted this because now i know im not the only one. why do people keep having to ask about trying to have kids? i mean obviously ill have one if i can and when im ready. its kind of a sensitive subject that everyone and their mom plus dog is asking. 

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