Ever lied to avoid family obligation??

posted 3 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I understand your situation a bit, however, for me it has never been for a total obligation. But about once a week, my mother tells me I need to come visit on my day off! Mind you, she’s not the type to drive up here when she wants to see me lol. But if I don’t feel like it, I will just tell her I ended up having to work or something… No big deal, I wouldn’t feel bad at all.

Post # 4
Member
935 posts
Busy bee

@EncoreBridetoBe:  is there a reason why you want to spend it alone? like why do you not just want to spend it with your family if you are willing to share? I dont think you are awful though..

if you have a specific reason and they wouldnt find out then sure, but if you were just like blowing me off just because I would be somewhat hurt if you lied about it and just prefer you to be upfront and say hey me and FI just want to be alone this year and have an intimate Christmas.

but to answer your question, i have never blatantly lied and said i was doin something when not and generally am just up fron about not wanting to spend time, but I know ppl who have and it turned out fine for them. 

Post # 6
Member
935 posts
Busy bee

@EncoreBridetoBe:  no that made sense ! you did good (gramatically wrong for me to say lol) my intimate i didnt mean anything holiday like or sexual i meant just personal time for you and yours, similar to what you described.

I understand not wanting to deal with the questions, not all families are as understanding. in that case, i would say go for just you and FI, no one will know and im sure it will be something fond to look back on when u get into the stress of school.

hope it works out. 

Post # 7
Member
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@EncoreBridetoBe:  I don’t think its fair that each family expects you to be with them and that you two being alone isn’t an option in their opinion. When DH & I started dating I told him that it was important to me that we got to spend part of christmas in our home together not rushing around and that’s what we’ve done for the past couple of years. Last year we had his parents, gma and sister over for xmas eve, had dinner and did presents, they then went home. xmas morning we woke up, exchanged presents had breakfast & then went to my aunts house that afternoon (she hosts every year) – we opened presents as a family (25+ people including my bro & sis) and dinner with them. This year we are having xmas eve dinner with my family, going home and sleeping in our own bed, waking up xmas day doing presents & then going to DH’s parents house in the afternoon to do presents & dinner. 

I think with the holidays its SO very important to be flexible with eachothers time & if you are having to do things out of obligation it really takes the fun out of everything. It’s perfectly OKAY for you and DH to want to spend time together just the two of you on the holiday because you two are family also! Sorry that you have to tell each side of the family a fib to keep them happy. They should just be accepting of your decision to be together on the holiday.

Post # 9
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have lied about many Christmases. My mother wanted me to spend it with her and her awful extended family. I would just tell her that I was having Christmas with my husband’s family. In reality, my husband and I would have dinner privately. 

Post # 10
Member
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@EncoreBridetoBe:  Lame. 

I’ve been known to double book myself, read “go shopping or do anything else” during a time in which DH is spending time with his family just to avoid having to see them. Sometimes it’s just easier to not have to explain yourself or rock the boat.  

Post # 12
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

My SO’s mom tries to completely dominate pretty much from December 24th until January 1st with her holiday…cheer. Honestly, even my SO doesn’t want to go anywhere on Christmas Day as it is his only day off for the holidays, but we will have to suck it up and do it anyway. Besides him working, I think we’re going to have to put our foot down and say no to her festivities on Christmas Eve. I wish, wish, WISH we could just stay at home and spend the day together, or maybe just visit with people for an hour or two, but it always ends up being this 12 hour ordeal. Maybe once we have kids we can pull the kid card to avoid going anywhere, but even then I feel like she would make a big stink about us not being there. Oh well, what can you do?

Post # 14
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@EncoreBridetoBe:  In your shoes, I think I’d probably lie too. It depends on the family. I can always tell my mom the truth, “I want to just relax with my husband” But I lie to my father, “We’re busy with the in-laws all day”.

My parents are not together, and I’m much closer to my mom. She will accept whatever, and she sees my relationship with DH as very important and first priority. My father would grill me about it, when we are not close and he has no right to question my generally reasonable decisions. So I guess I’m saying, as much as I always prefer the truth, I totally lie to get out of family stuff sometimes.

Post # 15
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We wouldn’t have to lie to my family – they are pretty easy going. FI’s family… well, I’d be willing to tell a white lie or two, we will leave it at that.

Post # 16
Member
2992 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Absolutely and I will no doubt do so again.

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