Ever make friends with the new wife or girlfriend of your ex?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

No, although I am friends with DH’s ex.

My second cousin is very good friends with her ex-husband’s new wife though. They go on holiday together with their kids (without the ex), and go shopping etc.

It makes sense to me that a man would be attracted to the same type of woman, and that they would get on with each other. The only possible downside, to me, is that if A dates B, and then goes on to date C, who is similar, I would hope that A has fully resolved any issues which caused him to break up with B. If he has not, how can he be sure that his relationship with C will not end in the same way?

Post # 3
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m not friends with my ex boyfriend or his new partner, but my husband and I are both friends with his ex prior to meeting me. It was a bit rough for the first few years, but since then she has really been a great friend to both of us. I think it’s great to have her in our lives, and often very entertaining (we share the same view on his mum)!

Post # 4
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

No. I always think this is very, very strange. I have had friends do this, but I never understood it. One of them even went so far as having a threesome with her now-husband and his ex.

Post # 5
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am in a very similar situation, but I am the ex’s fiance. My fiance’s ex-girlfriend is now married with 2 kids. While it was sort of rough in the beginning (I don’t think she’d really been close with any of his previous girlfriends) I now consider her my best friend! We talk pretty much daily.

A lot of my friends found it (and still find it) very weird, and didn’t really understand why I “put up” with it. But I wasn’t going to ask him to remove her from his life; she’s pretty much a part of his family. And I liked him enough to want to work through it. And I’m so glad that I did, because I’m so grateful to have her in my life now. She has made a hugely positive impact on me.

Her whole family is coming to our wedding, and her older son is going to be our ring bearer.

Glad to hear there’s people out there like us!

Post # 6
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

It’s kind of the other way round but I am now friends with FI’s ex-wife and mother of his two children…they divorced 16 years ago and now have a great friendship but any other feelings had long gone before I came along 9 years ago. 

We’re not best friends or anything but i love that it’s all on good terms…we have been out for drinks with her and her partner, been to get togethers at each others houses, all go out together for the kids birthdays etc. 

Fair enough not everyone wants to be best friends with their partners ex but it should at least be civil – we’re all adults afterall! I personally think it’s a sign of immaturity and insecurity to have animosity towards someone simply because they used to go out with, or be married to, your SO.


  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  SellyJo.
Post # 7
1321 posts
Bumble bee

No way am I friends with my exes’ new GF/DW.  I believe in the “no contact” rule after a break-up so I hardly ever run into this issue.  I know there are some people who can do this and based on the OP, in a situation like that I can see how you can be all friends with each other.

But it’s definitely not my cup of tea! 

Post # 8
6667 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am friendly with my ex-husband’s new wife, on FB etc.  We are not super close, but I have always found her to be pleasant.

Post # 9
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

No, neither DH nor I have stayed friends with our ex’s (they aren’t enemies or anything, they just aren’t a part of our lives) so haven’t had the opportunity.  Given what you’ve descrived though, I don’t think it’s at all strange, I think it’s great.

Post # 10
92 posts
Worker bee

Not friends really, I was on friendly terms with the now ex girlfriend of my ex who is one of my friends. But one of my very best friends is FI’s ex(LONG story, I didn’t know them when they dated and me and him were already talking once me and her became friends). FI is on friendly terms with my ex/friend that I mentioned above. I’ve seen it happen plenty of times so I don’t see it as too weird.

Post # 11
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I am great friends with a girl who dated my ex after me and they are now exes themselves.  It’s not something I’d force, but if it happened naturally, I wouldn’t fight it just because of previous relationships either.

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