Post # 1
My fiance and I have never lived together because we’ve always been long distance (separate countries for two years, and then only slightly long distance for another two years when we’ve lived in towns about 45 minutes apart for work and school). But now that we’re getting married we’re finally going to live together. We’re moving to the Boston area, and rent prices are of course horrendous, so he suggested a studio apartment instead of a one bedroom. I don’t know why but this really makes me nervous. I love him and don’t think we’ll have a problem living together, but I’ve never shared ONE room with anyone. It makes financial sense and he thinks it would actually be really enjoyable and less hassle (true, there’s less cleaning involved!). I just genuinely don’t know how I’ll react. Maybe I’ll love it and problems will be minimal and we’ll easily sort them out. Or maybe it’ll be tough for me and I’ll feel claustrophobic and have a lot of moments where I just want some alone time. So I’m trying to decide if it’s something to seriously consider or not. And I’d love to hear about anyone else’s experiences of sharing a studio or small apartment!
Edited to add: Sorry if this post makes me sound horrendously spoiled and selfish, hah!
This topic was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Jillwill.
Post # 2
I think it might depend on the size of the space. Our apartment is essentially a studio, although one of the old tenants put up some sliding doors sort of creating a bedroom, doors are translucent, and sound definitely carries through out. We’ve done pretty well, although, after a year of living together, it’s feeling a little tight in terms of storage space, kitchen space. Maybe you guys can come up with some sort of sliding door or screen solution for a studio to make it feel more like a one bedroom?
Post # 3
Jillwill: my fiance and I lived together in a ~600 sq foot condo for 5 years! It was fine once we got used to it (took about 6 months). However, it was a 1 bedroom, not a studio… it really really helped to have a room to retreat to when we were arguing and wanted to cool off, or when one person was sick/tired and wanted to sleep and the other was wide awake and wanting to watch a movie, or when one of us was up late doing work on their laptop! I can’t imagine not having that space.
Post # 4
medgirlny: That’s definitely a good idea I think. I feel like even curtains separating the living area from the bed area would make me feel a lot better. Just to have somewhere where I can go and feel a bit alone and have moments to myself. That’s encouraging to hear that yall can make it work though!
nightborn: Ahhh ok. I feel like the room to retreat to is definitely something I want, but like I mentioned above, maybe I can create it with curtains or a sliding screen or something….Thanks for the input.
Post # 5
- Wedding: December 2014 - St. Charles Borromeo / The Liberty Warehouse
We’ve lived in our 400 sq ft studio for four years now. It honestly hasn’t been that big of a deal for us. We’ve set up some ground rules, like if he’s playing video games on the TV, then I get the laptop (no hogging of electronics) and we have assigned chore duties…but I think things like that would be common in any shared household. Neither of us need it to be pitch black or silent to sleep, so we haven’t had an issue when one is sleepy and the other is not. If one of us is studying or needs quiet/alone time, there’s a cute coffee shop across the street that works perfectly!
I’ve joked with Mr. S that when we move to a bigger place, I’m gona miss seeing him all the time (the only time I can’t see him is when he’s in the bathroom haha). Generally, I think transitioning to living with your SO is a big deal and it did take us some time to get used to living together (I’d say 4 months), but keep the lines of communication open and it should work itself out!
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
We lived in one for a year & a half before we moved to where we live now! It was so cheap & cleaning was a breeze! With that said though, it also gets messy fast. If we didn’t make the bed one day then it made the the whole place look sloppy ..things like that. I think a studio is only good for a couple who enjoy spending lots of time together too. We had also lived together for a few years in a 1 bedroom before that. But we loved it though & nearly a year later we still bring up how much we [surprisingly] loved that little place haha.
Post # 7
I totally get what you mean. The thought of sharing a studio can be anxiety provoking! What are your guys’ work/school schedules? If you both arent home all day together then I think it could work fine. For example, right now I work mornings and my SO usually works at night. We live in a very small one bedroom with his teenage daughter. I just moved in and was really concerned about the space but its not like we are here together all day everyday. You could always get some sort of room separating device to feel like you have some sort of separation or Privacy too
Post # 8
Miss Squid: Aw ok that’s great to hear! Hopefully we’ll be able to work out something like that too. It’s good to know people handle it ok…I think I just started this thread because I needed to be reassured that it can definitely be done without a ton of arguing or anything!
Post # 9
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
Jillwill: I think my advice would be the same for any couple moving in together, whether it’s into a studio or an apartment: make sure you have your own space. That can be a room, a spot on the couch, a place you can go, whatever. Everyone needs to have time and space to themselves sometimes. For example, my husband and I spend most of our time awake in our living room. But he knows that when I first wake up and when I first get home from work I need time to veg, get into my routine, etc. So even if we’re sitting next to one another on the couch, I’m playing around on the computer and we’re not talking. After 1/2 hour or so, I’m ready to interact and we’re fine. We do something similar if we’re arguing–both take some time apart. I would just discuss your needs and your husband’s about stuff like this, be respectful, don’t take it personally if the other person needs some space, etc etc.
Post # 10
We shared a studio loft (sounds fancier than it was, it had high ceilings, so it seemed larger, lol) for a a year and a few months. The only issue really came up when FI started working a later shift and really needed darkness for sleeping. Besides that, we basically live in the living room in any place we’ve lived so it wasn’t a big deal at all. But just be clear about communicating with each other and taking time to grab a coffee or go for a walk to give yourself some alone time when needed. That was my favourite apartment we lived in though besides our current one. It would have been a perf bachelorette pad if I was a single lady. I could’ve seen myself living there for years. But alas, we needed more space and actual bedrooms, so we moved into a 2 bedroom eventually.
Post # 11
Jillwill: When my husband and I first met, we actually shared a bedroom in our landlord’s condo. The entire condo was about 1100 sq ft and the room we were in was about 11×12. That being said, my husband and I are that couple which is always together (i.e. best friends, same hobbies, etc), so we had no issues sharing a small space.
Post # 12
We shared one bedroom in someone’s house until we got married, so for about 10 months. It wasn’t a problem for us at all.
Post # 13
I couldn’t do it. I was so used to living alone and really like having my own space. We have a VERY small one-bedroom (623 sq. ft.) but it does have a bedroom with a door. If one person is sleeping or just wants to be alone, the other person can have the living room. I would not be happy if there was nowhere I could go to be alone in my own home. If he wants to talk on the phone to his BFF for an hour that’s awesome, but I don’t need to listen to the entire conversation.
Post # 14
I’m in the exact same situation! Always long distance, now moving to Boston. We were considering a studio, but I know myself and I know I need alone time and space. It’s not that I don’t love spending time with my FI – it’s just my personality that I need to be able to be alone sometimes. Also, he’s in a PhD program and sometimes gets home very late from lab. I didn’t want his coming home, needing to eat, working more on his laptop, etc. to wake me up since I’ll have a 9-5 job. For us, we needed the 1 bedroom. Some people naturally enjoy always being around others, so I think that suits studio living.
If you want any advice on where we looked, the agents we worked with, etc. you can PM me. I don’t know your budget, but there are actually a bunch of studios and 1 bedrooms in the building we’re moving into because it was gut-renovated, so everything is empty.<br />
Post # 15
Jillwill: Sort of.
I lived in a tiny studio apt for 3 years. SO would stay with me friday – monday and some random days through out the week. It wasn’t really a huge problem for us BUT there was also those few days we had apart from eachother. It was difficult sometimes because he goes to sleep earlier than i do, so i would have to watch tv in the dark with low volume. Be quiet if i wanted to make something at night etc. It certainly isn’t something to not move in a studio over, but something to consider ig you go to bed at different times. Same for waking up.
we just moved in together to a small 1 bedroom and i love being able to be loud and watch tv in a living room with the lights on! hahah. But it is really more of an adjustment, i think you can totally live in a studio with SO. If you ever need alone time or to cool off after a fight – take a long shower or go for a walk.