Post # 1
Do any of you ever think about past relationships and get a bit nostalgic ?
I say this because I was involved with someone for about 4 yrs on and off, part of that that time I was involved with my fiancé and “he” was involved with his wife (another on and off relationship).
We used to have such a great time together, not to mention the intimacy part.
One day I texted “him” when I was back from a two month trip and never heard back from him again. No friends in common because it was kind of out the radar thing.
I am with myfiancé now, who I love and would never hurt him because he’s such a great guy.
But, from time to time I find myself thinking about “him” and just wondering what he’s doing and get the itch to see him….
Is this wrong??
Post # 3
@JAM1982: I don’t know. I think about ex’s every now and again but I have ZERO desire to see them ever again. If I saw them I wouldn’t run the other way like a lunatic but I wouldn’t try to be their friend or make an effort to be around them.
Most of my exs I left off on a good note with but I still wouldn’t maintain anything with them. I’m not interested – they have wives and lives – I have enough friends. I don’t think it’s wise to see your ex….if you ever get the chance.
Post # 4
I have no desire to see any of my exes.
Post # 5
My highschool boyfriend turned out to be gay, but we were together for 5 years!
So I still remember how much fun we had. DH HATES when he FB messages me (like twice a year) even though he’s definitely a man lover!
Post # 6
@JAM1982: It’s not wrong. If your relationship ended on a good note you’re not obligated to hold ill will towards him and never want to see him again. Don’t pursue seeing him if you think it will make your FI uncomfortable though. I have an ex who I’d like to catch up with but my husband is the jealous type.
Post # 7
I think about my Exes all the time. I had a lot of good times with those clowns. But to be honest, I was a different person then, and there is no way that who I am now could be in anyway compatible to any of my Exes. Though, I do sometimes daydream about running into them. Not so much, a desire to be intimate with them. But more like: “hmm, I wonder how Bob is doing”. Most of my breakups ended on very good terms though. And I remained friendly with quite a few exes for years. There are some that I still talk with on the phone to this day (Of course my SO knows about this). I adore my current SO, and I can’t picture myself ever being with anyone else.
Post # 8
@JAM1982: I admit I do this. one ex in particular I think about a lot. This ex didn’t want to let me go but I ended it because he was literally a starving artist and I couldn’t handle that lifestyle. I felt bad about it though because we had a great connection and used to talk for hours about everything. I miss knowing him. He has contacted me many times since I’ve been with my now husband, wanting to be friends and have a drink and I don’t answer because I don’t want to hurt my DH. I know myself and its better for me not to put myself in that situation. nothing good can possibly come from it. but it hurts not to answer and I miss him and i have dreams about him a lot.
Post # 9
@JAM1982: sometimes I have a vague curiosity about where certain exs might be in life but it’s mostly just to wonder if they ever got their act together lol I have no desire to actually talk to or see any of them. I dated some wack jobs before DH 🙂
Post # 10
not good to let him in. Just foget and move on.
Post # 11
Not often, but when I do it’s pretty much just in the context of how grateful I am to be ending up with my FI as opposed to one of them!
Post # 12
Occasionally I think about him and wonder how he’s doing ( I’ve only had one other serious relationship prior to the one I’m in now). I miss the early dating years..but we both changed about 3 years into the relationship and ended it after 4 years of dating. We had great times and not so great times. I actually ran into him at a fast food place a few weeks ago, and I hadn’t seen him since we’d broken up. It was the strangest feeling ever to see someone who was such a huge part of my life before… And all we could say was ” hi how are you?” Very awkward.
Post # 13
My exes are my ex for a reason. I have no desire to hear from them again or see them.
Post # 14
@JAM1982: He is an ex for a reason. so you need to let this guy go. Holding on to the past and feeling nostalgic will only be detrimental to your current relationship. It sounds like you’re not really over him, which is unfair to yourFI.
Post # 15
Yes I think about them, because I’m soooooo happy that I’m not with them! I love my FI & I’m so happy that he’s in my life right now.
Post # 16
@JAM1982: I don’t know. I think it depends on how you’re thinking about them. If you’re thinking things like “I miss being with my ex” or even thinking “We were happy/unhappy together” repeatedly then I do think that is wrong.
I have to say that I rarely ever think about my exes…maybe I think about them once a year or so. If I do, it’s usually “I hope ex is doing well” and definitely NOT in any romantic way. I think that dwelling on either happy or unhappy memories is unhealthy and I have never had an inclination to do that. I think that that is an important side effect of moving on from a past relationship completely. If you’re thinking about your exes a lot, maybe you haven’t moved on?
Ultimately, there are reasons these guys are my exes and I am so much happier in my current relationship than I was with them–why would I waste my time thinking about them? I can use that time to daydream about my wonderful boyfriend, our amazing relationship, and what I want us to do together. 🙂