Post # 1
This is my first post and I feel somewhat silly writing this, but I can’t get out of my own head.
For the longest time, I never wanted bridesmaids. I’ve been in a ton of weddings and hve a bunch of girlfriends all whom are close on different levels. However, after I got engaged I realized how fun it would be to have my friends stand with me.
In the end I asked five of my friends. Three were no brainers and the other was my fiance’s sister who I adore. However, the last was a tough decision. It’s a friend I’ve known forever. We went through our ups and downs in high school and had a few year break while we went to college. We reconnected after I moved home after college and have gotten closer over the years. I was in her wedding a few years ago and have been involved in her life and with her new baby.
She’s done nothing wrong to not be in my wedding. However, I can’t get past feeling like I had wished I didn’t ask her. Sometimes I feel as though she’s judgmental and asks questions just so she can have something to have over me or talk about. Yet when I asked my BM’s to come see my wedding dress she was there with wine and couldn’t be more excited.
I realize I can’t ask her not to be in the wedding, that would ruin our friendship and I don’t want to do that. It was almost like I couldn’t not ask her but sort of wish I had thought it through a bit more. I’d like to just go back to being excited about asking my BM’s and feel ok with my decision. My wedding’s next July and I certainly don’t want to be thinking about this for the next ten months! Ha ha!
I just was wondering if anyone’s had similar feelings.
Post # 3
I had this feeling about two of my friends…They are good friends, but for some reason, something in my head was telling me not to ask them. Something didnt feel righ, I cant really explain it… In the end I asked my two BFFs and my Fiance twin cousins because they are more like sisters to him. I feel so good about this decision because as much as the wedding is about us, its about the family too and I love that I incorperated his family in my bridal party
Post # 4
I feel the same way about one of my bridesmaids. We got engaged in May 2009 with no perspective wedding date in mind, and were very quick to choose our bridal party. While this person is a close friend and even a distant family member, sometimes her attitude can be very foul. We finally had an engagement party a year after we were engaged, and I said to myself… if she doesn’t show up, then she’s not going to be a bridesmaid. She did show up and after the party, we all went out to a bar and had a good time but she disappeared. It kind of hurt because she didn’t even say goodbye. She’s helpful but very opinionated, with a lot of negativity. *sigh*….
She also has a lot of personal issues which I should have taken into account before asking her, because I can foresee them spilling into wedding related stuff.
Post # 5
Id like to say that I am 100% ok with my pick for BM’s but I am in the same boat. I am not getting married until next August but went ahead and asked because I decided to have family instead of friends. Well, that back fired because one of my cousins already backed out… I thought it would have been too hard to choose between friends. I am sticking with my gut on that, and not replacing my cousin! Good luck!
Post # 6
I originally had 4 BM’s and the 2 that dropped out I was really worried about to begin with. One is bipolar and ended up freaking out about being up in front of people, etc. The other was supposed to be my Maid of Honor. The minute she asked me what all she had to do/what i expected from her, I knew i had made the wrong choice. She lived 2 hours away from me at the time and I really didn’t hound her about anything. In the end, she ended up giving me some lame excuse about her work wouldn’t let her have the time off (even though months earlier she said she had asked for it off) and that i should find another person to take her spot. What was worse is she did this through Facebook. No call or anything. Fast forward to today. I haven’t spoken to her since I went off on her in an email. I found out through a mutual friend that she lost her job a couple weeks ago. I like to think karma played a part in that one.
Post # 7
I like to tell myself that lots of girls end up regretting someone or have a gut feeling about it. Not sure if they do but maybe it just makes me feel better about myself LOL.
I myself have 6 girls to match the 6 no brainer guys for him. One of the girls I knew for sure for years the other 5 I had to think over. He is having 2 best men and thus I am having 2 maids of honor. I do not regret having either of them in the wedding but one I do second guess having as a matron of honor. The last girl I asked though it was a toss up between two girls. I love this girl a ton but she can be out of touch for long periods. Due to this she is not wearing the same dress as the other girls (which erks me) because I didn’t hear from her for 2 weeks when we had to order the dress on clearance. So needless to say I just pray it all falls into place.
Good luck. You aren’t alone. Don’t feel silly.
Post # 8
Thanks for your feedback and support! It’s reassuring knowing that I’m not alone! 🙂
Post # 9
You’re definitely not alone; I asked my childhood best friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor as we’ve remained close over the years. She would do anything for me and can be an amazing friend, but she’s also very opinionated and has the habit of not filtering anything she says and when it comes to wedding stuff, that can be the exact opposite of helpful. 🙁