(Closed) Ever worry that you maybe don’t want to get married?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
356 posts
Helper bee

I think it is completely normal, even if you are with the person you want to be with! It can be very daunting to realize that forever really does mean forever! There are times when I could kill my Fiance and wonder if we are doing the right thing, usually when he has done something for the millionth time that he knows drives me nuts! But that usually quickly passes and then I am sure again!

Its also a big step, I think, because it seems like one of the last steps of becoming a “grown up”. I am close to you in age and other than moving out on my own into an apt, I dont feel like I have grown up yet. For me, engagment, wedding and house buying are the last steps before becoming officially “grown up” and realizing you are getting closer to that can be scary!

Post # 5
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Let me tell you a story. Fi  about a year into our relationship took me to go look atdies left for my birthday. He picked out a diamon ring for me to try on. I panicked. Literally RaN out of the store.!( hs knew I would react something like that so he did it more for suits and giggles than anything)   He has known how commitment phobic I am, and he knew he had to work me slowly around to he idea of getting married. He’s doing the same thing now with me wanting to have kids, working meslowly towards the idea. Right now? I am so excited andcanny wait, but I still have this fear that somehow I’m gonna mess it up. 

Fi will not let me see my wedding band. He says that it isinsurance to get me down the isle . Couriositywill get the better of any paniC that I have he says.

Post # 6
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Heck yeah, especially when you think, this is FOREVER, til death do you part. It’s a big decision and no one should go into it willy nilly. Nothing wrong with making sure it’s the right decision.

Post # 7
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Right before we got engaged  I got really, really antsy about ‘forever’ and making such a huge promise, but it passed in a sea of excitement and enthusiasm and I’m sure it will for you. Forever is just such a big word!

Post # 8
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Even though I love Fiance and normally am excited for our wedding, I have random (rare) moments when I have a slight panic attack at the thought of being married. I think it’s just normal. It’s a big and permanent transition from dating even if there is a commitment. 

Post # 9
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Scottish_lassie:  I don’t know if it’s just because it’s such a big deal for me or what, but I never, for a second, feel like I don’t want to marry FH.  Even if we’re having a bad day.  It’s like, I can’t imagine NOT being married to him.

I KNOW it’s a big deal and I always said if I ever had any doubts, I’d wait, even if the doubt wasn’t with the person, just marriage in general.  It’s super important to me to be completely confirdent in such a serious decision and, that I am.

Post # 10
402 posts
Helper bee

I’m in my mid 20’s and my mom filed for divorce 2 days ago! I’ve always wondered if mariage was a smart decision.. can people really stay together the rest of their lives? The answer is obviously yes! Many many older couples that I know are still as in love as they were when they first fell in love. Its just amazing. I love that.. but often wonder… will I be one of those statistics? (well everyone is a statistic, but what I meant was, will I be a 3rd generation of divorce? Grandparents got divorced, my parents have been married twice before, and now me?? )

Who knows.. It works for some.. but I would also argue that the time you spend together married and happy should be worth the risk. I mean, if you cant seriously see yourself with your SO the rest of your life, you should cease the relationship IMO, but if you do.. why not?

Post # 11
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t really worry about it too much, but I have heard that for men, getting engaged is hard, and for women, it’s actually getting married.

Post # 12
4682 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014


Post # 13
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Before I broached the subject of marriage with SO I sat down and considered exactly what that would mean. And to me it means forever, till the day I die (I don’t believe in any kind of after life) or the day he dies. I considered the life I could lead with him by my side and what my life would be like if I left him behind. I would lead a fulfilling life without SO by my side. Really I would be ok (Though I’d likely have a great dane). I would still meet my goals and continue to pursue my dreams. But SO and I share those goals and dreams… including the one where we’re both 90 sitting on a porch swing looking back at life knowing we’ve lived it to the fullest and having the companion we shared it with at our side. Someone to share forever with is what I’ve always been looking for and I’m 100% certain I want to share the journey of forever with SO.

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