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No not everyone cheats I wouldnt cheat and would be crushed if FI did...
Umm...no. I think people look to their own personal experience to give blanket statements sometimes.
Statistically, most people don't cheat, actually. It just seems common because it is drama-filled TV fodder.
Hmm, I also whole heartedly disagree with "everyone cheats."
I'm not quite sure why it's so pervasive in the media. I'm really not sure. I know cheating has been around since humans have, but why it's more socially acceptable to talk about now is beyond me. I don't know if it's just more common or less stigmatized. I think it may have something to do with the lackadaisical approach people have towards relationships in general now.
I have never cheated. It's pervasive because the actors or the people on TV that you watch live in a different world than us. In Hollywood, cheating is rampant. Marriages seldom last a year. That cast member is only seeing it from what he has experienced, not what the rest of the world has.
@cbgg: Was it Real World?
And um yea, everyone does not cheat. I have never cheated and I know for a fact that FI has never either. Can you imagine what a f'ed up world this would be if everyone cheated? People are so stupid.
Of course not everyone cheats - that is too broad of a blanket statement. Do "a lot" of people cheat, I can see that.
Ha ha, It's probably because I watch too much trashy reality TV. Trashy people, trashy expectations. It's just so weird to me that there are so many people who will say that. I don't know ANYONE in real life who would say that.
I cheated on someone when I was 15 years old and a crazy teen- since then I have grown up alot and well never cheated ever. I dont think everyone cheats, I think the whole myth that humans and animals can never be monogamous (which is untrue, many species of birds are in fact one lifetime partners when they mate) kind of feeds the fodder of these kind of generalizations. Its completely untrue of course, and reduces humans down to our lowest decible in order to justify infidelty.
I probably know more people that have cheated before, than people who have not. I know alot of different kinds of people, from different walks of life. Everyone makes mistakes, and perhaps, cheating is a common mistake among people. I really do not think everyone cheats though, thats a ridiculous generalization.
@cbgg: FI and I watched that episode and were like "Ummmm....".
@UpstateCait: Ha ha, me too! I immediately googled "why do people think that everyone cheats" and all I came up with were forums talking about...you guessed it...that everyone cheats! So I decided to turn to a consistently sane forum, Weddingbee!
lol I watched that episode last night with FI and he actually got so mad at that statement that he made me change the channel.
But I definitely think it's wrong. Some people cheat, some don't and it also depends on what's going on in the relationship, and in the lives of the people in that relationship. I know that in highschool a lot of people cheated, but I would say that number of people still cheating has gone wayy down now. So maybe you could say, a lot of people will cheat at one point in their lives, but that doesn't mean they will do it later in life or in their marriages.
Either way, Adam is crazy and not someone to take advice from lol.
Ya whoever said that is dumb... I really dont think thats true at all.
I know what you mean: when one of my co-workers found out that my fiance' lived in a different state, she asked me if I had found a f*ck buddy to keep me company!
I looked at her in shock & disbelief before explaining to her that I try very hard to treat others the way I want to be treated, i.e., I wouldn't want someone cheating on me, so I don't do it to others. Her reply? "Well if it were me, I would have been cheating since the second day he was gone."
Um, that's why you're single, crazy lady.
@Torrid: Aww jeez. Seriously? I dont get how people think like that :S
@Bellanouva: I think she got hurt from a previous relationship (her motto is "We gotta treat men the way they treat us"), & thinks she'll save herself pain by doing it to someone else before they do it to her again. But I was cheated on in a previous relationship, and I didn't respond to it like that. I took it more as "his loss" in the end (although we were engaged & I will admit I was devastated) & moved on. Some people just can't move beyond the pain, & they continue to let it hurt them or let it poison the way they view the world. :(
I think famous/rich people have more temptation, and are probably more likely to cheat. I mean, I've never cheated, but I've been tempted, and if I had sexy guys throwing themselves at me constantly, I'd be a lot more tempted. Then you have people trying to validate their behavior by saying everyone does it.
I think they're viewing the different FORMS of cheating. Physical, emotional, etc. Which in most cases, I believe everyone does. It's in our animal insticts. We're meant to pro-create and therefore we eye those who seem perfect to mate with. I think about it all the time when I see a guy with good physique and DH thinks about it when he sees women like Taylor Swift lol. It's not about just inserting a penis into a vagina, to me. It's about imagining yourself with someone other than your significant other... which I think it's safe to say that we all do.
But I have no clue the context of the conversation or what he/she was trying to justify.
@firsttimemom: Is it our animal instinct to mate? Yes, but animals can be monogamous (birds for example, which I mentioned above).
Again, I think its a broad generalization where a loose justification laced in faux biology basically is used to justify or deem acceptable infidelty, almost "normalizing" it so that its socially acceptable.
Is there anything wrong with checking out people who you find attractive, based on your relationship boundaries, nope! But to claim because of that it correlates to some sort of major penchant for humanity to cheat, and then link that to biology is stretching, because nature itself has shown that monogamous courting can exist in different animal species- including humans.
not everyone cheats. i feel sad for anyone that believes otherwise. that belief would make a deep, meaningful relationship nearly impossible. sure, it happens, but i wouldn't call it the norm.
wait? what?
NOT everyone cheats? So all my former bf's telling me "everyone cheats" when they cheated was just b.s?
I recently read that more than 1/3 of married men will cheat at some point during their marriage, and 75% of their wives will never find out.
However, I read that on Oprah's website, so who the heck knows if it's true or not.
@firsttimemom: it's also my animal instinct to eat way more than I need to when I'm hungry, but that doesn't mean I do it...
The difference between us and, say, bonobo monkeys, is that we make choices and those choices have consequences.
It just proves that I'm not part of the "everybody" category. :P
@daydreamwanderer: I think your saying something really relevant here- basically to reduce it down to "everybody cheats" as well as "animal instincts" it basically is denying accountablity on anyones part, almost like non-monogamy is the only choice, because we cant help ourselves...I think thats giving alot of people a way out, as well as a means of justifying behaviours, and most of all denying their responsibility for their actions and the ramifications of them on others...namely their spouses.
@SoontobeMrsA: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Why-Men-Cheat_2/1 is the article. Actually now I can't find the 75% part, so that must have been on a different site. Can't seem to find that one back again now.
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I was just watching a TV show and one of the cast members said, "everybody cheats." Obviously we hear these types of things all the time in the media, but it got me thinking. I just don't get it. I've never cheated and have never been seriously tempted to cheat. I have never been with a guy who cheated (well not that I know of, but I'm pretty darn sure!) and I can't even think of many friends or family members who've had this as an issue in their relationships.
So what do you think? Obviously you wouldn't be getting married if you think that "everybody cheats" but why do you think that this is such a pervasive message in the media?