Post # 1
Alright bee, I just need to vent and I know that atleast here people will know where I’m coming from.
I recently switched jobs and I’m getting married in less than 3 months (yay!). But I’ve noticed that a lot of the people at my new job keep questioning my upcoming marriage and really want me not to do it. This is just getting way too annoying and it bothers me.
Many of them say that I’m too young and should just wait (I’m 20 turning 21 in less than a month). I know why they say so and do understand their opinion, but I know this is what I want and it just feels right to get married to this wonderful guy. I just don’t understand why people keep butting in and keep trying to make me change my mind.
My FI is really a wonderful person and is beyong caring and loyal. Also for me having found a guy that I can trust and feel safe with is huge. I was abused as a kid and I never trusted guys in general. So for me being able to fully trust in him and knowing that he will be there no matter what, was one of the major factors as to why I know I want to marry him.
I mean I really don’t feel as if I’m missing out on anything by getting married this young, I actually look foward to being able to spend more time with him and being able to do things together. I really feel that I am a lot more mature than many other people my age. It’s not my fault that most of the people that keep being negative have had bad marriages and were never happy with their partners ugh!
Sorry for the long post bees but I just needed to get that out of my system :/
Post # 3
Hopefully once the wedding is over, they will stop annoying you about it.
You are very young to get married.. I think most people just imagine themselves marrying the person they were at your age and think “oh hell no!”.
Don’t justify it for them… just smile and say you’re excited about it. No point arguing, right?
Post # 4
@mco06: Learn to let these things fly over your head. In one ear and out the other.
You are young, and statistics are against you, but there are always those who buck the odds.
Your wedding is 3 months away. It is inappropriate for people who don’t know the two fo you very well to even be commenting.
Just remember that they are speaking in general terms, and not specifically about you and your FI.
Post # 5
@mco06: I would try to ignore it. You said you recently switched jobs, so that means they don’t really know you and your situation. Unfortunately for you, people are quick to give their two cents about younger marriages. They probably think they are helping you out with their advice, but they obviously aren’t. All that matters is that you are happy and excited to be getting married. Tell them a little of what you told us next time they say something negative.
Good luck with the remaining wedding planning 🙂
Post # 6
Honestly, you are young to be getting married. I am 24 and will be 25 when I get married am people constantly tell me I am too young. People will always have opinions and it’s important for you to stay true to yourself.
WIth that being said, I have always been mature for my age but I have changed A LOT since I was 20. As long as you guys are patient and understanding and willing to grow and make it work together, you will be fine.
Everyone is different and we all take different journeys..don’t let other people deter from yours!
Post # 7
I think people often think about how they were when they were 21 and they think they’re looking out for you. I think more often than not, it’s coming from a good place. I was a young bride too (23) and I can empathize with your situation. You only have three more month to endure it and then they’ll have no choice but to let it go!
Post # 8
You are very young. But you know what? My sister got married at 20 and 10 years later is still so happy, has 3 beautiful kids, etc. I am almost 30 and getting married (not old by any stretch, but older)
Here is how I see it – you will miss out on stuff. Just I like I missed out on stuff. Being single and being married both have benefits and many of those benefits are mutually exclusive. I will never have a had the experience of “growing up” with my partner. My sister will never know what it is like to be out on her own in life. The list goes on and on.
Your whole life is choices and every choice means you aren’t choosing something else. You sound sure this is what you want. Go for it. Don’t look back. Commit entirely. Know you are “missing out” but embrace all the things you have instead that others might “miss out on.” No one part of me wishes I had married younger and surely not one part of my sister wishes she had waited.
Post # 9
You are very young and people will judge. If you are sure about your decision then just ignore them.
Post # 10
@mco06: Fuck what everyone else thinks. You do what makes you happy and fuck everyone else.
And since you are young, I will impart one piece of advice to you: Lower your give-a-shit factor. Best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten and it applies to all situations and circumstances.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and best wishes 🙂
Post # 11
@yandz: thank you! It’s nice to know that there are couple that do make it last!
I completely agree with you on the whole part of missing out, but at the same time I don’t feel like I am. I know that a lot of people mostly use the excuse of missing out on the whole 21 era, but I’m actually over that (maybe becuase I’ve been drinking and whatnot since I was 17) and I’ve done my share of traveling so now I look foward to traveling with him or just being able just as you said to “grow together”
congrats to you too!
Post # 12
Huummmm tough question, may I ask how long you’ve been dating?
Post # 13
Thanks to everyone!! 🙂 I knew that it was a good decision to vent here..
and yeah I think that I will just ignore them, just as some of you mentioned, they don’t even know half of our story to even comment on it. Just annoying to constantly having to hear that.
Post # 14
@mco06 I know I commented early but I just wanted to say that for being so young I think you have a good head on your shoulders and you will be fine.
Post # 15
@Whitelight: well we’ve known each other for 8 years and been dating for little over 4 years…
Post # 16
@mco06: I tend to judge people who get married so young but #1 I do it silently…I would NEVER tell them they were making a mistake – that’s none of my business, and #2 I’m mature enough to realize my judgement stems from my own issues/experiences and has little to nothing to do with the couple personally, so I let it go.
I’ve been with my SO for a long time and am in my [almost] mid twenties. We got together when I was 16, if I had married him at 20 I think we’d still be together (afterall, we’re still together now! Just not married). I’m really glad we waited, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing not to wait.
It’s hard for people not to judge with all the statistics out there, but it shouldn’t be hard for them to shut their mouths.