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@With Love Whitney: You are not alone. I'm sure if asked, many bee's would convey that they had similiar experiences that you just did today. What you have to remember at the end of the day, you are with the one you love. It's difficult to even find love. I'm sure there are many woman out there (I know, some are my friends) that wish they could just say that they have a boyfriend and not be "single" at every event and have someone to come home to... someone to love and be their best friend.
Keep your head up, timing is different in everyones lives!
oh no you def not alone. i've been there several times, you'll be alright...
Nope your not - I even told my SO only yesterday that calling me his girlfriend made me feel like our relationship was immature.. I am a grown woman, I am not a teen, and I am in a long relationship with you - at least call me your PARTNER
@RR: i'm not waiting, nor did i, so i can't really sympathize, but i really love what you said. I hated being single when everyone of my cousins were getting married or bringing their SO's to family events. Its so true that having a boyfriend is much better than going home alone.
Also, outside of the Bee, i rarely call him my FI, i still say boyfriend because i just prefer the sound of it.
@spaneshal: ANYTHING but the dreaded "Boyfriend" "Girlfriend" tags... They really do sound and feel SO juvenile!
You are not alone on this one. I had to say "my boyfriend" the other day and I seriously had a hard time saying it. It feels so immature and it conveys a much less serious level of commitment than I feel we have. Argh... hang in there!
UGH!!!! I hate saying it too.. You definitely are not alone on this. I feel so ridiculous saying it.
you are absolutely not alone!!!!! based on all the other bees and me =)
I am constantly thinking "everyone but me!"
Nope. I no longer call him boyfriend. I'm 30 and he's 33, too old for boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't care if ppl are confused if I say SO. They better learn.
Yeah..I know how you feel. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, living together for 4 and he still says we're dating. One day though he did slip up in conversation and said "Well, that's why I married you." I think I may have given him the "who farted?" look.
@MsMamaBear: UGH, about the SO thing.
A while back, BluesGuy and I had decided that we'd list each other as emergency contacts, since none of us had family in the area. Flash forward to last Tuesday night, when I was in the ER, and updated my contact info. I commented to him that they had no category for "boyfriend" and simply listed him as "other". "They don't list significant other?" he asked.
I was good and didn't say that he may be my "other", but whether he's "significant" is up in the air. For my categorization purposes, he'll remain a boyfriend until there's a ring and a date, at which point he'll hit fiance/significant other.
Then again, the look on his face at the rental car counter Wednesday night when the associate asked if we were married was pretty priceless.
you are totally not alone. i agree with the thoer bees "boyfried" is just so juvenile! its like we have been together for 3 years living together for 2, have a baby together and his nieces and nephews all know me as aunt.. that is a bit more than just dating in my opinion! when i say "my boyfriend..." i feel kinda like i am 14 again
@bluesgirl: Go girl! Wish I could do that, I just h ate saying the B word...at least yours doesn't call you fiance in public or when ppl say y'all as in the Pitts married couple, he goes along with it. Argh. I'm gonna blast him out one day.LOL
@MsMamaBear: My SO will be on the phone with, let's say, the cable company and say "the account is under my finace's name"... Ummmm, your WHAT?! I always give him the "uhemmmmm" look when he does that. Grr! Always seems to roll off his tongue so nicely, too. One day, ladies... ONE DAY!
ugh I so feel you guys on this... we were at his brother's wedding rehearsal dinner this past weekend and his brother introduced me to their aunt & uncle as his "lady." We have been together for seven f--king years. Living together for five. And yet I feel like I'm the only person who cares or wants to have that acknowledged.
At my old job where everyone was married, they just referred to my boyfriend as my "other half". And I was his "better half" of course :) Apparently they felt strange calling him my boyfriend too.
@bluesgirl: Fucking ER nurse the other day listed me as his "friend." Bitch, I have been with him for over 2 years and what we do is DEFINITELY not what "friends" do. I was enraged.
Needless to say, I feel you on this. I also cringe when being introduced, and I actually always hear him pause when he says "This is my....girlfriend, Leah." GUH! Just do it already!! :)
@Leahhh: Hm, this one, I think you should let slide. Hospitals have strict rules regarding who can make medical decisions for patients. My aunt's long-term partner (of 20 years) was not allowed to make any decisions for her because they weren't legally married.
@Mrs.Oat: And that's fine, I do understand that... but she was like "oh y'all are just friends." I don't think she was trying to be condescending but it made me feel about 2" tall and made the waiting monster come out. I didn't say anything to her... but I was pissed!
@Leahhh: Oh, she sounds like my bitch of a grandma.(Yes, I meant to write that.LOL) She said something about my "friend" refering to my SO. Um, lady, I'm pregnant...if what I did with him to GET pregnant, I did with ALL my male "friends", I wouldn't be a 1st time mom at 30!
@With Love Whitney: I know! I've never said that because it'd sound funny to me. LOL
@Leahhh: Yeah, at least the patient registration person didn't do that to me. She simply said, "Oh, OK." when I gave her BluesGuy's name, relationship, and phone number, and wrote "other" next to it. I work for that hospital, so I know what the categories are, and boyfriend definitely isn't one of them. We don't even list "friend" as a category...
I can't be offended about that, because for some reason, they'd had my *mother* listed as "other," and that was the reason the registration person even asked about a contact. She wanted to know if that "other" was a sister.
Hello! You are not alone! I am 26 and since high school, i have been the supportive friend who attends baby showers, weddings, engagement parties, maid of honor etc. And I happily do so. I have to remind myself that people cross certain points in life for different reasons. I have purposely held out on marriage/kids because I wanted to finish my BA, be independent and get stable in a career. I am now working on a master's have a steady career and have been out on my own for a while. I feel like it's the "right time" to move forward with other things now (for me). So although I have had my share of being the "single one" my time is finally here! I picked a ring out and SO is paying for it, so its just a matter of time. And I am enjoying EVERY SINGLE STEP of this process because I sacrificed and waited for it!!
I also feel the bf/gf titles are childish and I HATE saying them. I also don't feel it represents our relationship. We are way past the point of bf/gf. I will be so happy when he officially proposes and I have the ring, which is the physical/outward symbol of our committment. Then all the friends I supported throughout the years will have their turn to support me. Kinda like in 27 Dresses. : )
Nicole
@With Love Whitney: I was with my boyfriend for exactly 5 years. I watched my best friend date 3 guys in that time, get engaged buy a house, and get married before he proposed!!! It was hard. SUPER hard. I was so jealous, honestly of my friends and people I knew getting married (still happy for them however), I felt like it was never going to happen. But I tried, I REALLY tried not to bug him about it all the time. We knew we were going to get married someday. We did not have the ring, we did not have the venue, we did not have enough money for a wedding --- but we always had fun, and we both understood where we were at in our relationship. Time flys. When things were right (in our case, financially) he proposed. But in that time, it bugged me. Looking back, however, we would have not been able to do it right, and not gotten everything we want and deserve for our day. Just remember, if you know you love him, and he's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with... you will. It will happen. In the mean time, my advice is to enjoy the fun times, and treat yourself! Workout, get a pedicure, do things for yourself! You will distract yourself, and time will FLY by. I started a wedding cake business (ironic) to make extra money (to save for something big.... ) and it took my mind off waiting
And what I would always say to myself- its the ring I am waiting for, but I knew we were going to be together. So why do I need it so much? Its not love, because we already had that... (okay its cheesy but somehow it made sense, and while I still wanted the official proposal, it made it easier) it made waiting seem a lot more manageable.
Take care!
@With Love Whitney: What's worse is when he introduces me as his FI in person, especially to females, because they instantly turn to me, ignore him and go "Oooo, where's the ring? When's the date?" and I'm left having to explain, no ring, no date, its a for-sure deal but very far away. Then I get the judgements about whether or not I'm really engaged and how silly and etc.
I'm actually worried that he's told enough of his friends that I'm his FI, that when I get the ring and get to do that fun Facebook Status Change, a lot of people are going to be confused and be like, "Weren't you already?" I have since explained this to him and thankfully, he stopped. But the damage was done :|
But, I also hate going to showers and such for BF's family (his relatives are REALLY kicking in with tons of engagements/weddings/babies right now. Not helping :| ) and his mom introducing me as "[her son]'s GF". It sounds so... I don't know, informal? Casual? We really need to invent a label for "in a committed, long-term relationship & living together but not engaged or married"
(sorry to drag up an old post, but Ugh! I know how this feels, and its feels good to vent sometimes)
hate the "boyfriend" title too. It's frustrating because I feel like people don't take us as seriously as a couple.
in everyday situations its not so bad, but yeah at bridal/baby showers it feels a little ridiculous..
such good advice! whenever i get semi annoyed that i am not engaged -i think about how lucky i am to have him and that we love each other so much! there are sooo many people out there looking for love
Urg. I'm helping to plan a friends wedding, they just started dating in April. Its the 3rd wedding I've helped out on since I've known my man. And they've all known each other less time.
Its just rather disheartening and makes me wonder if this relationship is really meant to be if its taking so long when everyone just seems to know. And I hate saying he's my boyfriend, its just so noncommital.
I'm right there with you especially because I'm so dang old. I had a talk with SO about it and he agreed that it was embarrasing him at times too to say "my girlfriend."
I'm like "well, then..........."
I'm having a bad waiting day today so I will try not to elaborate much more and be too negative.
I think everyone goest through this at some point or another. I am sorry you are feeling so down, but your time will come!!
Ugh I know exactly how you feel. It is literally no overstatement that most of my friends are engaged or married. And here I am living with my "boyfriend" good grief it makes me ill. I hate having to say it and try to avoid the word whenever possible. And when he calls me his girlfriend ugh. I love him so much and it just sounds so juvenile and insignificant our relationship is anything but, yet we still have this stupid middle school title. It's very frustrating. You're not alone. =]
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I just came from a baby shower... To say it put me in a "funk" would be a vast understatement. Seems like I was the only one there without a ring on my finger. I can barely even get the words "my boyfriend" out of my mouth anymore without making a face.
Am I alone in this feeling?