Everyone is pregnant or having babies, and judging because we arent.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

ChellFish22:  They don’t need to understand, it is none of their business.  I’ve made it very clear to the people in my life that once upon a time asked when DH and I were having children and I’m down right bitchy when they say  “you’ll change your mind!”

Post # 4
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

ChellFish22:  I mean, god forbid anyone that doesn’t have a child drive an SUV..

We got the same comments when we got a new car. We’re also moving to a bigger condo in the next year and have heard the, ‘must be for babies!’ comment far too much. Their faces when my FI tells them we need a second bedroom for my handbag collection and a wine cellar.. they get really sad.

I’ve given up trying to make people understand, its too exhausting and on the same token.. no one is helping me understand WHY they’re having kids so why should I have to justify my choices.

Post # 5
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

It’s kind of funny you posted this because I just recently read an article online (it may even have been on here on the boards) about just how rude a question it is for someone to ask “so when are you having kids”? It’s just such an incredibly invasive question and downright classless for people to poke their noses into something that’s none of their business.

Furthermore, there’s another reason that your friends are bugging you about having kids. Wanna know what that is?

It’s because MISERY LOVES COMPANY.

Yup.

All these so-called friends of yours have come to learn the hard truth that having kids often SUCKS. You have no sleep. You have no money. It takes are HUGE toll on relationships to the point where stress from kids can push some couples to split up. 

And then there’s you, married and child-free and stress-free and with money in the bank buying nice SUV’s. And they can’t STAND it. They HATE it. Because they’re stuck in their house all day in fat pants listening to screaming babies and changing diapers while their spouse is weary and distant. And they want YOU to be in the exact same situation.

Stay child-free for as long as you possibly can. Enjoy your freedom and growing together with your husband, because the more happy years you have together to look back on before you have kids, the better your relationship will hold up once the babies come (or if you decide to adopt).

And don’t let your jealous, stressed-out parent friends ever let you feel bad about your decision.

Post # 7
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

ChellFish22:  We have this same problem. Pregnancy speculations began 2 weeks after the wedding. But I kept trying to make it clear that finishing my degree was priority. Now that I’m finishing my degree this semester, people don’t understand why I don’t want kids immediately. Really? I mean, call me crazy, but I want a little break. I, too, am enjoying my time with just my husband and puppy before adding kids. I mean, I think I’m closer to the desire for kids, but NOT YET. haha arg.

When single they ask “when will you date someone?”

When dating they ask “when will you get engaged?”

When married and childless, they ask “when will you have kids?”

And I figure it will continue with: When married with one kid, they ask “when will you have another?”

 

Post # 9
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

ChellFish22:  Exactly, my DH is just as convinced that he doesn’t want children and so when people tell me I’ll change my mind I make some comment about how I hope not because they my husband, whom they adore, would leave me!

Everytime I call in sick to work (which is not a lot) my boss asks me if I’m pregnant…. *smh*

It gets old but hang in there!

Post # 11
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

 

ChellFish22:  I simply tell people to stay out of my uterus!

Post # 12
Member
38 posts
Newbee

I’m not in the same situation as you but… One of my dear dear friends got married a few months ago and ‘whisperings’ of babies started almost instantly. There was one family BBQ I was invited to for a bday party where I heard the MIL say “X you’re looking awfully big- are you pregnant?” My mouth just dropped I couldn’t believe what that woman had said!

Amazingly my friend smiled and said “I’m not pregnant- but thanks for pointing out that I’m fat” and went about her day. She’s amazing for one liners like that! I heart her so much!

Post # 13
Member
4025 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I completely get where you’re coming from. People are opinionated and judgemental about everything. Sometimes it feels like you can’t “win”. It’s too bad for all of them we really don’t give a f*** about what anyone else thinks about our life. We’ve started to perfect the “Ohh..mmm. Okay” type of reaction when people tell us what they want for us, and then laugh it off together. We got married this past NYE and have heard it all. “When are you going to start having kids?” or “I think you should wait a couple of years…” blah blah blah. My best friend is planning to get married June 2015 (not engaged yet) and even made a comment that she “wants no babies until after our wedding”. My husband responded “Okay” and I almost killed him (to me it’s so incredilby personal) until he told me later he just said that to get her to stop talking about it. We’ll have a damn kid when we’re ready to have a kid, whether that’s starting to try this summer, next year, two years, etc. All that matters is when we’re ready, whether or not it meets anyone else’s standards. Good luck OP! I know it can be tough, but you guys are doing what makes you happy. Everyone else can just deal. 

Post # 15
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

“Damn straight I’m knocked up. Man, this wine is REALLY good I’m going to get some more – would you like me to bring you a glass too? Oop! I think I felt something! Baby must love the pinot noir” 

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