Post # 1
People can be so effing rude and stupid. I’ve had several friends, FI’s mom and some of my family tell me things like, “Why are you reserving the venue so early? You have so much time!” and “Maybe you should wait until you get a bit closer to the wedding to start planning so zealously, you’re getting ahead of yourself!” And FI’s mom in particular (who is normally a wonderful, nice woman) has implied to me that I’m getting too obsessed with this and I need to calm down.
Do these people have any idea how much planning this takes? And how early venues and photographers book? It makes me so mad that I’m planning this beautiful event and people are raining on my damn parade!
Somewhat related but not really, FI’s mom made me super mad about how much we’re paying for photography. We got an awesome deal from our kind of sister in law (FI’s brother’s wife’s sister…) $800 for 6 hours, 300 pics on 3 discs with full printing rights and a free engagement session with a $200 deposit and the rest to be paid in payments whenever (either before or after the wedding). I was really excited about this and when I called Future Mother-In-Law to tell her she said, “Oh…. that’s really expensive, are you sure you guys want to spend that much money on pictures? You know, you don’t need to go into debt for just one day!” I told her, “Listen, we’re NOT going into debt, we CAN afford this and, FYI it’s really a great deal!”
Ok, enough venting. I’m so annoyed with everyone right now!
Post # 3
Just tell them that you want to enjoy next summer, instead of panicking about the wedding. I had everything booked by November for my September wedding, and I’m enjoying the last few days (and enjoyed summer activities with friends and family) because I was so prepared.
Post # 4
As soon as we got engaged, the planning began and I knocked out all of our major tasks EARLY because I didn’t want to be stressing out about them at the last few months. Personally, if you’re solid with your vision and don’t think you will second guess your decisions, do it now. Who cares what others say!
Post # 5
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve got a year and a month, but I’ve just finished booking all my major players. I gotten a lot of flack from people (not the least of whom is my FI) who just don’t understand how early vendors book! I missed out on a couple of vendors I wanted because they were already gone. But no, apparently I’m just insane.
Also, that’s one amazing photography deal! Good for you!
Post # 6
Most people just don’t realize what it takes to plan a wedding. I had tons of people tell me to wait and I’m glad I didn’t. FH’s mom was one of the biggest opponents, they just now started looking for places for the Rehearsal Dinner after I told them things book up fast, and of their top 3 choices, 2 of them were already booked. The see I told you so happy dance followed.
Post # 7
I started planning two solid years before our date. Now, over a year later, it’s smooth sailing because I have so much done!
Post # 8
i, much like most brides, started planning as soon as i got engaged with fifteen months until the wedding. we already have booked our big vendors and i have timelines of diy projects. but i hate to break it to you, other people dont care as much about your wedding as you do. i dont mean to sound rude, but if people who are usually nice are commenting that youre becoming obsessed, youre probably talking about it a little too much. i have found that instead of talking to other people…friends, family, etc…i just come on the bee to get my wedding fix.
to us, next september seems close enough to already be planning and purchasing everything, but to everyone else its a whole year away…just something to keep in mind.
Post # 9
I’m also in Northern California and can assure you that you’re not jumping the gun – we booked our venue in June for next September – half the dates in September had holds on them, and Labor Day 2011 and all of August was already booked. We started looking for photographers last week and the first person we emailed – who we loved – was already booked for 9/17/11. Not only are there lots of early planners around here, but September is the busiest month.
Also – if they criticize how much you spent on photography, ask them to do some online research and see what people are charging. Ask as if you’re asking for their assistance (hey, they might find a gem, right?), but they’ll soon learn how ridiculously good of a deal you’re getting.
Post # 10
I know what you mean and understand your pain! You are doing the right thing planning ahead and marking as much as you can off the list. Everyone will see this in time.
Hang in there!
Post # 11
@MandaMack: Oh I completely agree with you and know that no one cares about our wedding as much as we do. I make a conscious effort to not discuss wedding business with anyone but Fiance and bridesmaids except in exceptional circumstances such as “We’ve found a venue and put our deposit down, FMIL!” and “We found a photographer quoting us a great price, FMIL!” I definitely (and as objectively speaking as I can be) think I rein it in pretty well with most people.
Post # 12
I understand and feel your pain. I still get these comments and we’re only 8.5 months away now! We got engaged last July, so I’ve already been planning for a year. I’m glad I have gotten loads out of the way early, it makes me feel much less stressed!
Post # 13
i totally feel you on this one. but i am WAY behind you on planning even though we are shooting for the same weekend. i am planning from afar and my parents, who live where the wedding is, said they’d help out with the planning since they’re local, but they think a year out is too early to plan and have been no help. Fiance and I are going down tomorrow for a few days so we can see our top venues, make a final decision, and put a deposit down on the venue, because that’s the only way anything is ever going to get done. my parents said they would do all the leg work, but so far they have looked at one place and just said “it’s not right for your wedding.” thanks for all the help. they think i’m crazy because i said we are making our final venue decision this weekend–they think i should be “shopping around” for awhile. um, shop around? my top choice is already out of the running because it’s booked every single saturday night in fall 2011 already. oh, and they also told me we’re in a recession and wedding venues will a) have less bookings and b) be open to lowering their prices for us. hahahahaha. don’t they know the recession hasn’t touched the wedding industry at all? aaaaaaaaaah just had to get that out. thank goodness i have somewhere to come where everyone understands.
Post # 14
Do not let those people get to you! I think you’re starting off on the right foot. We booked our venues, caterer, photographer & harpist last July. We did what we felt was best for us. We weren’t pulling our hair out, freaking out 6 months before the wedding because we didn’t know where the wedding was going to be or where we were getting the food from. Another reason we did everything so early was because we already knew our date was going to be very popular, and having everything in place gave us a sound mind. We now get to take care of all the little details & get them out of the way & not be so stressed a month before the wedding.
Post # 15
you’re getting married in a year, and while that is lots of time, you’re going to need it! Do they expect you to plan it all in 4 months? Tell your mother you found a photography package for $5000 and ask her which one is the better option. Good luck planning!
Post # 16
Don’t you just want to smack those people that rain on our parade?! HARD! lol… Just breathe girl, and dont let anyone bring you down!! I started planning right away as well (and thank goodness!) The venue we wanted was already almost booked for next year! They didnt have any openings in September, which is what we wanted. So now we are getting married in August and we are ok with that, but still… places book up quickly these days!! I already found my dress too and there is NOTHING wrong with that (if you dont think you will change your mind – lol) but seriously, share the joy of planning with those who are excited and stay away from the negative nancy’s!! HAPPY PLANNING! 😉