- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
My dad is 75. I’m 24. He’s getting a pace maker on the 27th. He has congestive heart failure but because his diet is so amazing and he swims almost everyday, his heart was healing itself (he had a B-12 deficiency and he has an enlarged heart. He didn’t get CHF from eating bad food or anything like that). But his heart just couldn’t heal passed a certain point, and he’s still suffering from dizzy spells/shortness of breath/weakness etc and I’m just really worried about the procedure.
To make matters worse, my parents just now finalized their wills a week ago, and I know they did it now because of the up coming procedure. I am basically inherriting everything, save for my grandpa’s land and one of my parent’s houses both of which my half brother (dad’s side) is getting. I have another older half sister (also dad’s side) but they had a huge falling out and they never speak, so he is just leaving her a few thousand. I have two half siblings on Mama’s side as well, my mom’s son isn’t close to any of us and they had a big falling out as well so she’s just leaving him a few thousand as well, and Sissy, my mom’s daughter, is getting everything that she inherrited from our grandmother.
I’ve also been named the executor of the will, and I just know that there is going to be a HUGE drama with my brother on my dad’s side. He feels very entitled to everything and likes to live above his means. When my dad dies, basically everything goes to me so that I can make sure Mama is taken care of if need be. And my brother has already asked about dad’s vacation properties. My dad got the place in Hawaii while he was married to my brother’s wife, but that was something my dad got in the divorce and he’s leaving it to me, not my brother… Of course my brother doesn’t know this yet but he’s going to shit a brick when he finds out. Aside from Sissy and I, my family is a bunch of snakes. I don’t want to have to fight with my family, but I know it’s going to come to that. I don’t want to sit there and tell my older half siblings that I’m basically getting everything but here’s a little money, have a nice life. Part of me is mad at my family for putting me in the spot, but I also understand that my dad doesn’t want to leave things to people who will just waste it, so I want to carry out his wishes.
My dad’s older kids already don’t like me too much as it is though. I always thought my older brother liked me but one time I posted a picture on facebook of my first house (I was renting it with friends; my parents have never helped support me once I moved out) and he called my dad demanding to know why he always did things for me like BUY me a house, and then just to be spiteful he told my dad I had tattoos (I do, but at the time all of them were in very private areas so the joke was on him; dad didn’t believe him and that was the LAST time I ever told my brother anything about myself). Anyway, once he found out that I’ve been slowly taking over my dad’s business all of a sudden he’s been calling us all the time and coming for visits, trying to stay in dad’s good graces. It’s really annoying. He never came around this often when I wasn’t working for dad.
On top of that, FI told me we could have a small wedding but it’s turning into a huge party again, which is stressing me out as well because I just want to elope to be honest, but I know that sharing that day with everyone (he has a huge family) is very important to him. Also, literally everyone I know is getting married this year and I’m close to all of them. Four of my friends are getting married in the next half year and I’m involved in some way in all the weddings but one… Not to mention, you know, I’m getting married in May… Oh, and the cherry on top of all of this? My absolute best friend in the entire world is moving away at the beginning of the year.
I just feel like this is all too much too soon. I’m so worried about my dad, I don’t want to talk about wills and who is getting what, but my parent’s just want to talk to me about how to handle everything when the time comes. I just want my dad to be ok. I feel like everything else wouldn’t be half as scary if I knew everything was going to turn out alright, but I know he’s older now so even if everything was fine with the procedure this is something I’m going to have to deal with eventually. I just feel like way too much has been put on my shoulders and I’m terrified I’m going to mess up and be a disappointment. Like, I just want to have fun helping dad with his business and planning my wedding, but instead I’m worrying about everything and wedding planning has been put on the back burner and it’s turning into a burden. Not how I was thinking this time in my life would go. :/
- This topic was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by MrsRoberts52.