Weddingbee boards

bees, I am so unbelievably mad right now!

I had a bridesmaid pull out - which totally did not bother me - until I found it she did so in an attempt to hurt me. 

BACK STORY:

FI's cousin, JJ, and I had a falling out after she was told by FI's godsister that I apparently called her a transvestite. I decided to take the bull by the horns and call her out on it - I explained that I had never said such a thing - I am an upfront and very honest person and have NO problem in expressing how I feel. I also explained to her that IF I had something to say about her, then she would know about it as I would personally express it to her. Of course she apologised for assuming and not confronting me about it and everything was sorted. In an attempt to do the right thing by my FI and his family, I asked FI's cousin whether she would like to be my bridesmaid - she went absolutely crazy - thanking me, screaming, asking about wedding details etc etc...the only problem was, she was still in contact with FI's trouble-making godsister, which made me really uneasy. All these months later, I know exactly why!!! 

I had made contact with JJ two weeks ago to get a contact number from her (her aunty J), as I wanted to ask whether we could make aunty J's daughter a flowergirl. There was weird tension before she got me the number (it was uncontactable), and a mere 30mins later I receive a phonecall from JJ's mother saying this:

JJ's MOTHER: miss_hellas...you're getting married huh? when?
ME:             um...yeah - May 12 of next year...
JJ M: right. well JJ is not going to be your bridesmaid because her father and I have booked her tickets to go overseas
ME: oh, ok...so why didn't JJ call me?
JJ M: she doesn't know about it.
ME: ok, that's fine aunt H, but I am just wandering why you would book her a ticket to go overseas when you were fully aware of when it was going to occur.
JJ M: right well yes, but it wasn't official. It's not like you sent out invitations. Hows things anyways?
ME: I'm sorry? but I don't see how it would be at all effective if I sent invites out 11 months before the wedding. 
JJ M: Anyways, I have things to do - see you later mate.

yes...you read right bees. So I call JJ, whom acts totally bewildered about all of this - and again, no apology. so FI's mother hits the roof and decided to call JJ's Mother and threatento end ties if they dared not to change the flight (if there was one indeed booked) within the next week. They refuse to change the flights - FI mother ends ties with her family (whom do not want to come to our wedding in order to spite her). so I confront JJ and articulate that she has made the mistake of underestimating my intelligence by trying to sell me the story that she had no clue about it - bla bla bla. she has nothing to say and "deletes" me on facebook. I laughed - FI and his mother then deleted her off facebook.

I was totally ok with all of this - TOTALLY. I was even ok with them not being able to concoct a decent lie worth believing, or pulling tohgether a fake apology - until NOW.
I find out today that her accepting to be my bridesmaid was a ploy to sabotage me (I paid for everything - from the dress, to the shoes, to jewellery and robes for the day) and my FMIL. I'm sure, she hasn't stopped laughing with FI's witch godsister. It makes me angry because I feel like I was being soo naive in believing that I could bring the family back together and make things right - no good deed goes unpunished! In saying that though, I feel God was looking down on me and wanted to help me against these evil people - if things didn't go the way they did, none of this would've come to the surface until days before the wedding...so I guess finding out now was such a beautiful blessing!!!

so I'm ok...well, at least I know I will be...

thank you for letting me vent bees and I'm so sorry if I make no sense! 

thank you for your support bees...

@trugem: @s_h_e_l_b_s: @jo.lee: I'm very grateful for finding out sooner rather than later..I'm trying to find peace with that in mind. I did what was in my power to make her and the rest of the family happy, and if she did not respect that, then that's something she will have to deal spiritually with on her own.

xo

@Pinksapphire: I'm afraid juvenile doesn't even cover it - I honestly don't know why she is being so cold and venimous towards me. perhaps she is just an evil and calculating so-and-so that wanted to sit back with FI's godsister and snicker about my efforts? I'm not sure. I'm just glad I haven't altered the dress yet, and I have a beautiful cousin of my own to replace her with! I couldn't be more grateful to Fi and his parents' support...xo

@abirdword: godsister hates me because she wants to show SIL (whom none of the family speak to) that she is in full support of her. 
To make a long story short, before I came on the scene, FMIL/FFIL/FI had a falling out with SIL. When I came on the scene she became very jealous and hateful; SIL has tried sabotaging me numerous of times, despite my best efforts to get the family back on speaking terms (I have sent her emails, birthday cards, messages - all ignored). She seems to believe I am taking her place - since FMIL and I are so close - but as I've said to her, no one can replace her daughter. SIL got a cousin to approach FMIL and tell her that if she wants her in her life, she has to get rid of me: FMIL told her to grow up, and accept that I will be marrying her son, and that I will be part of the family soon - and that I, in no means, will replace her daughter, but will become her DIL one day. SIL didn't like this...and through JJ and godsister, has continued to try to hurt me.

I don't know what else to do, other than find peace in the fact that I have tried my best to help and do right by everyone. I have accepted the fact that not everyone in life is going to appreciate you or anything you do for them; but that shouldn't stop you from doing the right thing by others in the future.

Thank you, once again - for your support - it keeps me sane amongst all this craziness!!!

thank you soo much bees! it means alot!

@itshouldsnow: I don't know about "saint" - since I did dish it straight back! lol but since not having them in our lives - things could not have been better!!! :)

@soon to be Mrs. Mckenna: tell me about it!!! i'm pretty happy - I've always been a believer of "positivity breeds positivity" :)