- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
When my Fiance and I were trying to nail down a wedding date, we struggled due to graduations, other wedding anniversaries and various other activities of people who are important to us. We decided on our date, which happens to be my grandparents, who are in their 90s, wedding anniversary. Out of respect to them, I called up my grandma to tell her that 1. I am engaged and 2. we would like to get married on their anniversary and to make sure that its ok with them. The VERY first thing out of her mouth was, and I quote, “Don’t you think you oughta out that thing up on the shelf for a while?!?”
A little back story. I have been divorced twice. I’m not at all proud of that, but we live and learn from the mistakes we make. My Fiance and I have known each other for a couple years and have always been pretty good friends. We did not date very long before getting engaged, just 4 months, but when you know, you know. (FYI, I knew (AND DATED) my 1st husband for 6 years before we got married, so I guess you never really know anybody).
This was VERY hurtful for me. I was raised that you should always try to please your parents and grandparents and I have done everything my whole life to make them proud. Again, I am not proud of my past relationship mistakes, but I KNOW I have found THE ONE! My parents are VERY happy and love my Fiance to death!
I have not spoken to my grandma since this all happened. I have spoken to my grandpa, who is very happy for us and is excited about the wedding. (He was just telling my mom a couple days ago that he is growing a white moustache for the occassion 🙂 Love my 97 y/o grandpa! SO SILLY!) I am inviting Grandma to the wedding only because my Fiance is making me. My question is, am I being irrational? I understand that when they were my age, divorcing and remarrying was seen as horrible and just didn’t happen and was seen as discraceful, but does that give her any right to blurt out whatever she wants and hurt my feelings and make me feel guilty. And does the time she grew up in, mean that I shouldn’t be hurt? Any advice would be much appreciated!