Evites instead of invitations

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you prefer Evites or invitations for a small wedding/reception?
    Evites : (22 votes)
    19 %
    Invitations : (95 votes)
    81 %
  • Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee

    I prefer invites but I think if everyone that is coming has an email address (which they check regularly) I don’t think it would be a problem

    Member
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I think it’s fine. Just make sure you have everyone’s current addresses that they check often. 

    Member
    590 posts
    Busy bee

    I chose evites because thats what I prefer…although if you have elderly guests or guests that dont regularly check email then it could get dicey. I still think traditional invites are the best way to go so no one gets offended or left out…

    Member
    1555 posts
    Bumble bee

    It depends on the type of wedding. If its a casual backyard wedding, then I think its fine. However, if its more formal or at a church or upscale venue, then I think its pretty tacky. 

    Member
    9154 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I hate evites for anything that isn’t a very casual get-together.  I think a wedding is a kind of event (regardless if it’s a casual backyard wedding or a black tie night at the Ritz) that requires a paper invitation.

    Member
    1675 posts
    Bumble bee

    Who says you have to get expensive invitations? I would stop at Target, grab a blank invitation kit for $20, print the info at home, spend 40 cents each, and toss them in the mail. 

    Member
    1584 posts
    Bumble bee

    How fancy/formal is this? If you’re doing a formal reception then invites should be sent… You can even find budget invites easily online nowadays.

    I think you can do an email STD but mail the invites.

    Member
    1356 posts
    Bumble bee

    @2Old4this:  There is not just one “proper” form. Electronic invitations are perfectly “proper”, they just communicate a different sub-text from written invitations: “This is going to be a modern-standards party, so wear what you want and don’t worry about formalities” versus “This is going to be a gracious and structured occasion: break out your silk dresses and pumps; and be prepared to make small-talk, eat and drink with restraint, and generally strive for a level of propriety.”

    If your mom’s name is on the invitation as hostess, then it’s her call. Paper invitations don’t have to be expensive: the most proper ones are hand-written in black ink on plain white paper. Admittedly, heavy high-quality paper is most elegant, but thinner cheaper paper is acceptable — your biggest cost would then be the stamps.

    Save-the-Date cards, however, are not “proper”. If your mama wants to be “proper” and give her friends a forewarning that an invitation is coming, she should write each of them a personal note conveying the information.

    Member
    929 posts
    Busy bee

    @OnceUponATime:  That’s what I was thinking. It doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated, but you really should send something in the mail.

    Member
    89 posts
    Worker bee

    I voted for invites because I know I have plenty of older relatives who wouldn’t be able to figure out the online thing…  I agree with OnceUponATime and that you don’t have to get expensive invites…

    Member
    191 posts
    Blushing bee

    Personally, I look forward to the day when evites are acceptable, etiquette-wise. Right now, I don’t really think they are, unfortunately. But, I do think for the “right” wedding it would be fine (if you know all your guests really would be fine with it). 

    For us, one grandmother doesn’t use computers at all and the others who do would still have a hard time navigating evites. So it would really leave them out, not to mention I’m sure at least one would be horrified to see this etiquette rule being broken. So it really wasn’t an option, much to my FI’s disappointment.

    Member
    735 posts
    Busy bee

    I prefer the actual invetations. We’re having a small wedding (30 guests) but I got those DIY invetations you just print off on the spacial paper they provide. So they were fairly cheap which im happy about! If i was sent an evite to a wedding it wouldnt matter, i wouldnt see it as bad ettiquet or anything like that

     

    Member
    1436 posts
    Bumble bee

    Go cheap on invitations, but send physical invitations if possible. It’s more formal, and people will take the event more seriously, I think. You can get cheap DIY kits, or event premade invites where you just handwrite the details.  

    Save the dates can be done by email, though :o )

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