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I do the laundry in our household and we've always had colored towels but for some reason they would get so STINKY and I could never figure out why. I thought it was because our landlords smoke in their garage which is right under our bathroom so I bought white towels so I could bleach them...perhaps this was a big relationship error.
The reason they get stinky is because SO leaves SKID MARKS on them!!! OMG ew and when I bring it up to him he gets all defensive! I'm not mean about it, I'm just like okay seriously you need to wash back there better. He tries to blame it on me, but I don't use his towel ever since I figured out that was what was going on!
Whats your SO TMI vent?
Oh ewww! Has he continued to do it after you brought it up with him, because if so, that's a little gross! If it were me, I'd probably tell him he needs to wash his own towels if he's going to do that, maybe that will help him realise just how icky it is!
Yeah that is when he needs to start cleaning his own towels or wipe when he uses the toilet. Seriously, that's disgusting.
I mean cleaning the towels isn't the issue- it's just the reminder. It IS gross and he's really not a "gross guy" not smelly or dirty or with stinky farts or anything, it's just this and it makes me really skeeved out.
:( I told him a few weeks ago when I realized it, but I just did the wash tonight and it was bad. He said "I don't know where all of them come from" UM WELL THEN IT MUST BE THE CAT!
@mcklough: I get that cleaning the towels isn't an issue, I meant if he was forced to see (and smell!) what he was doing by having to clean them himself, maybe that will help him see how gross it is and encourage him to stop?
Gross, dude! You should get a container of pop-up, flushable baby wipes and put them on the back of the toilet. It may sound weird, but my family has always had them and when I introduced them to FI I think he was a little blown away (in a "how-did-I-not-know-about-these kind of way). That could help, and he'd probably be more comfortable, too (I can't imagine it feels good to have dried crap stuck to your butt, lol)!
so to break it down - he uses a towel to wipe his arse after he showers or takes a poop? in that case then he isnt doing the first job correctly
hes most prob embarrassed (why hes being defensive) - what about buying him baby wipes (or the adult version) and telling him that this is better for him to finish the job???
otherwise im with you - i remember once waking my husband up from a nap screaming like a banshee because i just seen his bathroom and ive seen public toilets that are cleaner and i was disgusted he would think its 1, ok to do that and 2, leave it for me to clean. i went balistic - his toilet has always been clean since then
I'm confused... there shouldn't be poop there unless he uses the toilet, skips the paper, hops right in the shower without washing well then grabs the towel. Or he uses it instead of toilet paper. Either way, weird as heck.
I would be telling him to wash his own towels AND buying him black ones. That's not acceptable!
EWWW! I like juliepants' baby wipes suggestion. Could he be a bit - er- digestive, and have trouble cleaning properly? Baby wipes can help that.
maybe I'll try the babywipes thing. We have a septic system so I'll need to find septic safe ones...
yea the break down is happening with the wiping but I also know that when he showers he doesn't...scrub...down there.
Don't flush them, even if they say flushable.
He should just not put the towel up there, and use a paper towel and wipe it. Kleenex makes a towel, and they're soft.
when he showers he doesn't...scrub...down there.
for the way TMI dept - i hope you are not giving him bj's. if you are stop immediately - that might also get his attention
*Cringe* He may get defensive, but its good you are letting him know this can't continue. It just isn't hygenic. If he insists on using more than toilet paper to clean, definitely go the disposable route.
LMAO, but seriously, do you have a front loading washer by any chance?
@eloping: yea this is actually my bigger concern. I know he washes in front, the scrubage just doesn't make it's way to the back. I think I may have nagged him enough about it tonight to know that he needs to work on it.
@gogogiraffes: why shouldn't he put a towel up there? It shouldn't get dirty AFTER the shower. Also why shouldn't you flush the flushable ones?
@Olive12: it's not that he wipes with the towel after going to the bathroom, it's that he doesn't get it all off and then when he gets out of the shower and uses the towel that picks up the poo
BTW this is probably one of the most embarassing conversations I've ever had and I'm not the one with the problem!
@stefanieastronaut: yes I go to the laundromat so it is front load
@mcklough: I'd just be super worried about them clogging, I've taken care of both my mother and FI's mother while sick. And the flushable ones clogged their toilets. I just throw them all away now to be safe. And I just don't think the towel should be shoved up there. I know it SHOULD be clean. But OBVIOUSLY it is. And if I wasn't washing there, I sure as heck wouldn't be shoving something else up there afterward, especially if it was white.
Good grief. I'd KILL FI if he did that to my lovely cream towels.
Skid marks on towels is really not cool. A grown man should be able to wipe his arse well enough to get it free of visable crap. Obviously there will still be minute particles, which is where the showering with soap and water comes in. I don't like the idea of using sex as a weapon, but I'd be telling him there is no way I'm going to let his junk near my bits when his junk is in such close proximity to his unwiped crack. Thats just plain unhygenic and a major turn off! The last thing you want is an infection in your bits because of poo particles!
@Roux: That's a good point and could be an effective strategy! Also, lol @ "poo particles".
Lol, I love Roux's advice. I guess your SO must be quite embarrassed, hopefully he catches the hint. Maybe he has some type of digestive problem, and doesn't realize he has anal leakage?
@mcklough: I'm not saying he doesn't need a special butt loufa for the shower, because obviously he does. HOWEVER, our towels developed a weird smell and after much research and trouble shooting, we realized it was a dirty bellow in the front loader that was causing our problem. Since the absorbancy of towels is high, they were basically absorbing and not releasing some of the grime from the dirty bellow (rubber seal around the front of the washer. pull it up and look... if you dare!)
Running bleach or front loader cleaner through more frequently eventually got rid of the awful smell that lingered on our towels! (took awhile, though!) We also clean the door and bellow a lot now and let the door stay open so the inside doesn't develop any musty smell.
I will never buy a front loader again, on this note. Never ever been happy with mine and they are "high end". I shoulda kept my regular, with the agitator, washer.
I agree with @Cash000 and I would kinda tiptoe around this since you're not really 100% what's going on with his derriere and, ya know, men are kinda sensitive and what not :)
I just thanked my SO for his OCD cleanliness immediately after reading this post!!!
And ditto to @eloping's bj and @roux's sex comments!
Keep your laundry separate. He needs to do his own wash--especially his towels.
Also, I wanted to chime in about the flushable wipes not being flushable everywhere. We have old school copper pipes here and we learned very quickly (and after forking over like $150 bucks to get the pipes snaked. EW, btw) that copper pipes are textured on the inside and any sort of soft fiber can get trapped on the copper grooves (or whatever...) so no super fluffy toilet paper, NO TAMPONS, and no flushie wipes over here.
@Roux: Holy crap (no pun intended). I laughed soooooo freaking hard just now!
My VENT about my SO is that he doesn't brush his teeth. Like hardly ever. He says he waits until he gets to work. Yeah right. Funny thing is that he visits the dentist twice a year. Even when he does brush his teeth, it's for like 10 seconds. His mouth never seems that dirty. The thought is just gross as hell. Why are men such pigs?????
Oh, but I do let him near my lady bits with his mouth. The boy has some TALENT even if it's not in the oral hygeine department!
I think the PP have covered all of the important suggestions, but I just read some of the highlights to FI who is sitting here. He will never look at the Bee the same way again haha.
@Roux: Best advice on this board.
OP: Oh my god. I am beside myself for you and your dillemma!
Do you frequently run low on toilet paper and when hes in desperate need of an ass wiping and uses a towel?
lf I had a personal problem and needed to use a towel to clean up better, I would probably take care of whatever I have dirtied in fear of embarassment.
If he comes out of the shower unaware that he has crap lodged in his crack still, then I suggest getting him a hand mirror and some wipes and just flat out talk to him about it, cause he is probably suffering.
or maybe he has been sick lately with some digestive issue?
Best of luck!
@Roux: Totally agree! To the OP, I don't really have any advice other than this (: Best of luck!
My SO was reading over my shoulder and he suggested getting this haha:
i was thinking about this last night - better things to think about yes but my kid nephew was in our bathroom going through a roll of paper and eventually i yelled at him (i asked if he was ok because he had been in there for ages) to wet the toilet paper (there is a sink right near the toilet) and use that
if you cant use babywipes because of your septic system get a better quality paper for him to use and some warm water to dampen the paper before use
Maybe he needs some manscaping down there? A GF of mine (I swear to god I'm not saying that trying to hide my own identity! If this were me I'd never tell this story) was getting intimate with a guy. I guess things were getting pretty hot and heavy and they were.... uh.... in the 69 position with him on top and ya, dude had a pooh nugget hanging down. She stopped but didn't say anything and he went to the bathroom and I guess "discovered" it and was so embarassed he left. She never heard from him again. Guys have hairy butts so maybe he just needs some grooming?!
@eloping: I know. It made for a good story for the rest of us though ;) I'll never forget that one! LOL!
@CanadianMermaid: Like I said, if it had been me, I never would have owned up to it! LOL!!! I sort of feel bad for the guy though. He's like an urban legend in our circle now! LOL!!
umm... do you think it might be a "too much hair in the area" type issue? Maybe suggest some trimming or shaving to prevent stuff from getting trapped? Maybe pick up a bottle of Nair when you get the baby wipes? LOL
Edit: Just saw what Bakerella posted! LOL
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