Post # 1
This is a weird one. Was in a short relationship 2.5 years ago and things were not well, tried breaking up he wouldnt have it and 1 month later dumped me by text and phone. He had cheated with a collegue at work and went straight onto her. They moved in together after 9 months and engaged afer 10 and wedding is next Jan (2 year engament)
Me – very heartbroken for a long time after that more so by the rudeness of it all all but then also he he was the dumper and the cheater. Him getting engaged didn’t help matters either. Then I calmed down decided I had to move on and did so and met a wonderful man who i am now engaged to and will marry him at the end of next year and I’m really excited about the wedding planning and staring my life with him.
Problem – well I still work with ex occasionally and he does not even acknowledge i exist now. He is bordering on being rude and despite for being known by everyone to be a very quiet and insular man he seems to go out of his way to avoid me or just refuse to say even hello while he does so to everyone else in the room. At one time I got really depressed about this because I kept thinking he was behaving like i was the one who had done the bad deed and also when someone acts like that its hard to forget about the past as its a constant reminder of the pain I went through then. Now all I wanted was civil behaviour and i tried until 2 months ago to say hi and at least be nice but he kept being rude. I have since decided that its not worth my time worrying about him and trying to be nice so I have since started giving him the same treatment back now. What this has done( I think – might be too early to tell) is made him now want to engage in small talk in public.
I have talked about this with my FI because it adds stress to a work environment that is already very stressful at the moment and he has been my pillar of strength. I am really glad i am with him as he is an amazing man.
I just thought if we both have moved on we can be civil at least. i guess thats a lot to ask for! Urgh – ex rant
Post # 3
It’s too bad that you work together. Usually, after I’m in a relationship that has ended there is no contact after that. I don’t see any point. What’s in the past is in the past. So personally, I don’t really understand your feelings for wanting to small talk or to say hi to someone who doesn’t want to say hi back. It would be so much easier if you didn’t have to work together every now and then but even still, my advice would just be to leave it in the past. In my opinion, sometimes being civil just means not to start any drama- it doesn’t mean you have to act like you’re friends.
Post # 4
I feel you, friend. I work with my ex and it is awkward as all hell, especially considering only a few people in the office even knew about our relationship. As far as a lot of people know, we used to be close friends, now we don’t speak. To make matters worse, the ex got together with another co-worker (who I’ve never been able to stand) and I get to watch them flaunt their relationship all over the place, not to mention the fact that all of my old work “friends” now act as if I never existed. It’s like high school all over again! I don’t want my ex back or anything, but it still hurts a little to be constantly reminded how I was cast aside like a piece of garbage for the new chick.
I understand wanting to have some small talk or something. If anything, it’s to regain some sense of normalcy in the workplace. We have to spend 40 hours a week here, having it be awkward and uncomfortable makes it almost too tough to bear. Even though I’m still pissed at how everything went down, I make an effort to be professional and cordial to both the ex and the new chick. Not for their comfort, but for my own. That’s really all you can do.
There’s a reason they say to never dip your pen in the company ink. Ugh.
Post # 5
Oy, it’s so hard to work with exes because you just keep having to interact with them whether you like it or not. I would say, behave toward him they way you want to behave, not as a reaction to his behavior.
The only person who you can control is yourself. If he wants to play petty games, that’s his problem—you will be the professional one, and anyone with two eyes in their head will be able to tell the difference. Good luck and I hope it gets better.