Post # 1
So Mr Puffafish & i have been together for approx 3 years now and we got engaged in jan. (YAY!) We loved all the congratulations cards and FB messages on our wall, I lavished all the questions about where and whens, and being the first of our friends to get married (we’ll be 25 when we wed) we loved all the attention. Everything has been perfect!
Until…Mr PF’s exgirlfriend, who is a fair bit younger than us, turned 21.
For her 21st birthday the ex got an engagement ring from her boyfriend………of 10weeks!!!!!
Now all our friends are congratulating her and i cant bear it!! it makes me sooo freakin mad and i feel like it cheapens my whole relationship! They have never lived together and they are making a mockery or what marrige means! ARGH!! i so will be venting for days!
anyone else suffering at the hands of careless engagees?
Post # 3
@mrsGB2b: I’m not really sure if I understand how she’s “thunder stealing”. Do you have mutual friends?
I’m sure your friends are still happy for you!
Post # 4
I don’t think it’s fair to say she’s careless for getting engaged unless you know for a fact she did it to “steal the thunder”. Maybe she fell head over heels for this guy and decided that she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. Who knows.. I’m just giving her the benefit of the doubt.
Post # 5
I understand your frustrations but have faith that *her* engagement doesn’t cheapen *your* relationship. At 21 and after only 10 weeks of courtship, it would seem the odds aren’t in their favor to succeed in marriage. If anything, their hasty engagement is ripe to shed a poor light on their relationship, and their relationship alone. The mockery, if it is one, is only upon them. But you never know, it might just be meant to be. In the meantime, be a good sport and let them enjoy their moment, but don’t let it get to you. Why? Because you have more important things to contend with and your fiancé’s ex is not allowed to have such a prominent spot on your radar, yes? 🙂 Relax. Concentrate on you and keep soaking in all the good stuff, surrounded by your loved ones in support of you, your day and your marriage.
Post # 6
yeah we are all part of the same friendship group. i guess im worried everyone will just see getting engaged as a fad. when we got engaged it felt special and precious. I was really nervous to tell everyone as it felt such a huge step. But the ex gives no regard to this and told everyone via FB, even her parents.
It feels so casual and i feel i look a fool for making such a huge deal out of my engagement.
i guess maybe thunder stealing isnt the right term but i do feel like its cheapened what i felt was special.
Post # 7
argh! i know exactly how you feel. a friend of mine announced her wedding date (after they had been engaged for years) to the week befor my wedding was to go ahead! i was sooo angry she chose that date when how many other weekends are there in a year!? also she was to be my bridesmaid so she knew well and good all my plans for my wedding and the date for months ahead. i felt so mad she was telling everyone her date and the pressure got too much that we had a fight and no longer speak. after this i thought ok, im being selfish as all hell here i dont want to lose a friend over a date. so i go on her facebook page to see she had moved her date… TO THE SAME DATE AS MY WEDDING! ok so i let it slip because she wasnt in my bridal party anymore, untill she startd insulting me because i was having a hens night and favours for my guests and a sit down meal like a real wedding saying their wedding was going to be small and intimate so they did not want any of that. I WAS SOOOO ANGRY! needless to say all our mutual friends will be attending my wedding. theres so much more to the story which makes me feel the same way as you when you say they cheapened by this girls actions. ( she tried to leave her fiance 3years back for my best friend because she said he was fat,lazy and ugly and her mother told her he would make a bad husband) SO I SEE YOUR POINT!
Post # 8
I think you should let it go. The focus isn’t completely on you anymore but getting engaged to the love of your life is what matters, not the congrats from other people. If people think getting engaged is a fad then there is something seriously wrong with them.
Edit: Joeydoodle, I think your situation is a bit different. A friend stealing your date and insulting your wedding is not the same as somebody getting engaged around the same time you did.
Post # 9
yes its different but im just saying i understand how she feels they cheapened her moment is all.
Post # 10
@mrsGB2b: I’m sorry 🙁 It would get to me too, reasonable or not …
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
So you got engaged in January and she just got engaged recently? I don’t think that constitutes stolen thunder – you’ve had two months to enjoy the attention!
Just because you got engaged doesn’t mean that everyone else’s lives should go on hold, no matter how quick or impulsive her engagement seems. Her relationship has nothing to do with yours.
Getting engaged and planning a wedding can be very stressful. My advice is to choose your battles wisely and save your energy for those issues that you can control, instead of getting upset over things like this that don’t have anything to do with you.
Post # 13
If it makes you feel any better, there is a big “fad” of getting engaged in my world right now! Literally everyone I know is getting engaged and getting married this year, along with me so I’m just one of many. Oh well, I know which one is most important to me! And there’s more people to talk wedding with =)
Post # 14
Other people are allowed to be happy too, pretty sure it wasn’t done to take away the attention from you. But I’m sure you’re just happy to be marrying the love of your life and being lavished with attention doesn’t really matter, right?
You’ve had 2 months to enjoy the limelight. Time to get over it.
Post # 15
I don’t know… I remember when Jessica Simpson got engaged. And then Nick Lachey like a little bit later…and I remember thinking Nick had something to prove. I don’t think anyone is looking at you in ANY way.
Post # 16
@deetroitwhat: It’s reversed. He got engaged first then she came up a week later and was all “I’m engaged too ya’ll!”.