Post # 1
my sister got divorced last july. her ex-husband remarried in decemeber to a woman 10 years younger. no big deal, such is life. well, the new wife is AWFUL towards my sister. my sister and her ex-husband have 3 children together, ages 9, 12 and 15. a few months ago my niece, 9, had a dance recital. my sister wanted to take a photo with her daughter and ex-husband. new wife FLIPS and makes a HUGE scene in front of EVERYONE and refuses to let her take a photo. she took loads of my niece and her new husband. it was awful. my niece starts crying. awful.
a few weeks ago the ex-husband and new wife come to drop the children off (they get them every other week) and the new wife starts yelling at my sister saying things like “you’re an awful mother. i’ve been a better mother to these children than you’ll ever be. you’re white trash.” so on, and so forth. um. a: my sister is an incredible mother and her children love her. she doesn’t miss a baseball game or dance practice. being a single mother is HARD. b: my sister is most certainly not white trash but a very classy lady. the new wife is SO IMMATURE. back to the point – the new wife does all of this yelling IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN! so they hear EVERYTHING! so they are all crying. it’s awful. if you have a problem – do it in prive in a respectable way. the children have been going to therapy now, too. it’s so sad. but the woman is oblivious! she says she has the children’s best interest at heart – but she keeps making these awful scenes.
sigh. anyone have experience with this? i wish there was a way to legally banish her from their lives. haha.
EDIT: my sister just told me she blocked the new wife from the kid’s cell phones. oy. the step mom sent this email:
“Your recent decision to block my cell number from my being in contact Boy 1 and Boy 2 is completely unnecessary. Whatever personal beliefs or feelings that you may have towards me does not play any part towards my relationship with Boy1, Boy2, and Girl1.
As of December 29, 2012, I lovingly accepted the role to be their stepmom. It appears as though your decision to block my number stems directly from your personal frustrations. It has nothing to do with the children. There is no basis for your preventing my having communication with them. This email is being sent to you with the best interest of the children at heart. I am hoping you will do the right thing and contact your cell provider and remove the calling restrictions so that I may keep in touch with Boy1, Boy2, and Girl1.”
my sister responded:
“i’m glad you say you have the childrens best interest at heart, but that doesn’t reflect when they see you treating their mother the way that you do. once you start showing me the respect that i deserve, i’ll unblock your number. this has nothing to do with “personal frustrations”. it has to do with how you act. there is nothing wrong with communicating through Louie’s phone. having them 4 days a month, or even 31 days a month, doesn’t warrant you to say the things that you have or for you to feel as if you have replaced me in any fashion as a mother role. think if the roles were reversed, and your flesh and blood saw your ex husband’s new wife treating their mom that way. it is completely uncalled for and you need to start acting like an adult to be treated like one. i hope one day we can put all of this behind us and be civil”
Who needs lifetime?!?!?!
Post # 3
I don’t have experience with this personally, but I’m curious as to what the husband does during these outbursts. Sounds like your sister needs to have a discussion with him and he needs to talk to his wife and get everyone on board for the best interests of the kids. Maybe she can arrange to not be present during the drop-offs so the new wife doesn’t have a chance to yell in front of the children. Maybe a mediator could help the three adults come to an agreement?
Post # 4
If that were me, I would take them to court if the father is doing nothing to mitigate the situation.
Post # 5
@amandasouthcarolina: Your sister needs to have a talk with her ex and tell him that the new wife needs to start respecting her. NOW.
The children are going to start resenting the stepmother.
Post # 6
yeah…he’ll be like “that’s uncalled for” and stuff. but honestly it doesn’t result in too much. this woman is insane. she told my sister during the “dance recital fight” that the reason my sister wanted to take photos with her ex-husband is so that she could put them on facebook and pretend they are still together. Really?? i mean, really?!?! my sister is in a serious relationship right now. so dumb.
Post # 7
What kind of a man lets his new wife talk to the mother of his children that way? And in FRONT of his own children?
If she’s that much of a psycho and showing her true colors I can’t imagine he’d want to be married to that idiot much longer. And honestly – that woman is just harming her own relationship with those kids. Does she honestly think they won’t grow up one day and understand how screwed up that is to do that to their mother?
She’s the one that will have to deal with the kid’s resentment towards her
Post # 8
Post # 9
Can your sister get those psychotic outbursts recorded? That doesn’t sound like a good enviornment for the kids!
Post # 10
and that woman needs To take a flipping chill pill
Post # 11
My dad’s second wife was like this. When I was in the hospital as a kid, she wouldn’t let anyone tell my mom about it–then when I got out, she told my mom and said she didn’t want her to come to the hospital because she was “too fat” and would embarrass everyone. At the same time, she was telling me (6 years old, sobbing, scared) that my mom was too busy and wouldn’t be able to make it to the hospital. I was in the hospital for TWO DAYS.
There were lots of other crazy things, but a lot of it was similar–lying, screaming at my mom in front of me, threatening her to take away the kids, etc. And you can bet the stepmom is doing plenty of other crazy things at home that your sister might not even know about! My stepmom threatened to drown me, etc.
Your sister needs to record everything the stepmother says (and TELL HER she’s being recorded–sometimes that can be enough to stop her) and talk to a family lawyer. Make sure it’s clear this stuff is happening in front of the kids. She can get the custody situation rearranged and possibly a restraining order against this women.
With any luck, the dad and the new wife will get divorced–that’s what happened to me. Honestly, I probably needed therapy afterward, but it’s been so long that I’m doing fine now.
Post # 12
@howsweetitis: that’s insane! i’m sorry you had to deal with her!!! thank you!!!
Post # 13
If they aren’t doing so already your sister and the kids need to start seeing a councelor. Maybe having her ex and wife attend would help as well.
Post # 14
@amandasouthcarolina: Yeah, good luck to your family! It will all be okay eventually, I promise! 🙂
Post # 16
@deetroitwhat: This. And I would videotape her tirades so the court can see for themselves what is going on.
Edited to add: My ex lived with a psycho bitch, so I know what she is going through. The problem I dealt with was the psycho bitch was mistreating my child, while my ex did nothing, and I couldn’t get proof because it was occuring while my child was on her summer visitation with her dad, out of state. It got so bad, I said “eff it” and refused to let her go on her visit one summer. It was a nightmare. And without proof, like video, the court will side with the father. It’s messed up.