posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sorry you are going through this. I know it is difficult to want a person to fix themselves so badly when they clearly don’t share the same feelings toward themselves.

I don’t really know the whole situation, but whether he was with you or the new girlfriend, this could happen. He is an adult who chose to do drugs, whether it was with her, someone else, or alone. He still would have done them.

Post # 4
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Who cares if he was with the new girl- he would have done meth with or without her. Lay off of her and be concerned about if he will recover…

Post # 5
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

My ex died last year of a cocaine over dose. We had broken up because of his habits and we had a daughter together. There were so many emotions-guilt, anger, sadness.

Most addicts know that what they are doing may kill them, but don’t think it will really happen or can’t stop any ways. Nobody but your ex could have changed how things happened not you or this other girl. At this point all you can do is say a prayer, remember the good memories, and let things work themselves out.

Post # 7
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

what is stopping you from going to visit him ?

Post # 8
46240 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am sorry that you are still being hurt by your feelings for this man.

You are misleading yourself however, if you think you could have saved him.

This event had nothing to do with whether or not he was eating right. He likely had a brain  hemmorhage, possibly related to his very high blood pressure, and that could have been exacerbated by his drug use.

You may need counselling to help yourself to move on from this man.

Post # 9
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Im so sorry this is happening. Your going through all kinds of feelings right now….anger, guilt, regret. Regardless of the failed relationship and all the drama that happened you loved him, he had a piece of your heart and that is something that will not change. My thoughts are with you and him.

Post # 10
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am sorry you’re experiencing this.  I understand how heartbreaking and frustrating it is to see someone you love and care about give their life up to drugs.  My entire family is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol.  My grandparents and I are the only sober ones.  My father just passed away a week ago because of alcohol.  There’s only so much you can do though no matter how many times you beg, plead, and warn people.

You need to come to peace with how things ended and will continue on afterwards.  You tried to love him, but he was far gone.

I wish you the best of luck getting through this troubling time.  

Post # 11
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You cannot blame this girl for the choices he made. I’m sure they probably weren’t a good influence on each other, but it is/was not her duty to keep him alive, just as it was and is not YOUR responsibility to keep him alive. He was obviously going down this path, the path he chose. He wasn’t ready to stop abusing his body and nothing anybody says or does can stop an addict from using, if that’s what they want to do. I’m sorry for your loss and pain you are feeling.

Post # 14
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@jazzyrhae:  I dont think she was being snarky at all. Any of us who have dealt with an addict know if they want to do drugs their going to do them and it doesnt matter who with. To addict death means nothing. All they care about is the next fix.

It has nothing to do with how good of a person you are or what you have because somewhere deep in an addicts soul they are missing something from themselves. It doesnt matter if you tried to save him or if 50 others try to save him, he cant be saved unless he saves himself.

I understand your feelings. I was married to an addict for a decade. Toxic or not I loved the hell out of him and it was never enough.

Next thing, an addict self destructing has nothing to do with whether your relationship worked out or not. He was probably an addict before you were with him and him a seizure is an affect of drug abuse on the body.

Your taking to much credit. Also go easy on this girl. You have bad feelings against her for whatever reason. She is no more responsible for his drug use than anyone else is.

Each person on this planet makes a choice.  He choose to put drugs in his system, and it doesnt matter if she did them with him, he made a choice.

I used to make excuses for my ex too. He got high with an ex friend of mine and I blamed her but the truth is that she didnt force him. He could have said no.

I understand that your upset but it was his choice. Its sad when people dont understand the consequences of their actions.

Just pray for him but dont waste a minute thinking about the what ifs, or what would have beens. He made his choices a long time ago.

Post # 16
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I really can’t imagine how painful it is to see. My ex was an alcoholic. I left and didn’t look back but he called me after a couple of years and told me he was in AA and I felt nothing but happiness for him. It was all I ever really wanted…to know he was going to be okay. I haven’t heard from him since and have no idea how he is doing with that…but I do often wonder.


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