Post # 1
FI’s ex-wife developed an online relationship while married to him yet she is calling him “deceitful” because he referred to the paper work he needed from her as being for a “lack of canonical form” because they got married outside the church.
She says this is an annulment and he was deceitful for not being up front about that. The diocese refers to it as a “lack of form” to distinguish it from a formal annulment. That is how they described it so that is how he described it, he was not trying to hide anything!
She also doesn’t want him to have the information (which is hardly a big deal, just her address, where she was baptized and if she remarried). So she wants to contact the diocese herself, which is fine. But what the heck does she think he is going to DO with her address and info? She left with online guy 5 years ago and moved to another state! The divorce was not a particularly messy one and they have not talked in 4-5 years, it’s not like he’s been stalking her.
At least she (hopefully!) will give the diocese the info, but I just don’t see why it has to be so difficult. She dated while married and living with him, and then told him she wanted a divorce so she could be with the new guy, but she is insulted that he wants it declared that their marriage was outside of the church?
Post # 3
So sorry. I hope it goes well. My husband had to go through an annulment too. I would think even if she doesn’t cooperate they could proceed without her. (I can’t remember that my husband’s ex cooperative. But maybe. I just remember something about her not turning paperwork in. IDK.)
Good luck. Keep us posted.
Post # 4
My DH’s ex-wife is a super beotch too. She’s just being spiteful. Probably unhappy with online guy and pissed off that your FI found someone BETTER!
Post # 5
Imho, she’s probably not liking that in some way (how I feel) that the church is not liking what she did and either is her ex h and she wants to rewrite history HER way.
She probably does not like everybody knowing what she did and this is a way that proves that. Still it shouldn’t matter to her what happens now imho. If she would ever wish something like this would not have happened, then maybe she shouldn’t have done what she did. Just sayin 😉
I say that your FI goes for it, and has it declared anulled. Nothing wrong w/it. My ex h fwiw, was always angry when people heard the truth about why I divorced him. He would tell people it was because we didn’t get along..and in the end that was true! We didn’t get along b/c I found out he was cheatng! He went to lengths to insulate himself from having his reputation in any way tarnished, but he always found ways to continually tarnish it himself.
Hugs. So sorry you’re n going thru this. My FI’s ex w is also difficult at times (she was briefly unfaithful) and is attny and every once in a while, will try to stir things up if her boyfriend dumps her again. We always know when she has been dumped b/c she goes on a mini-rampage. She can’t stand to see my FI happy.
Post # 6
She probably does not like everybody knowing what she did and this is a way that proves that.
Yes, I suppose. I looked her up on facebook and she and the guy she ran off with aren’t even linked as friends, but I don’t know if that means they aren’t together or not. That would likely make her a bit bitter, seeing as she moved half across the country to be with him.
The ironic part is, it doesn’t even involve anything she did. The paperwork just means that they got married outside the Catholic church. That makes it non-valid for my FI as he was baptized Catholic. She has never been Catholic and when I knew her, had no use for religion at all, which is why I don’t see the big deal.
Ah well, thanks to all for the support and for letting me vent.
Post # 7
So then it’s really a non issue and this person (the ex w) just can’t see it that way. So sorry this is going on and I hope she sees reason soon. It’s about spiritual differences. Has FI tried to show her that it is spiritually based?
If having a Catholic wedding in the manner you both want it for spiritual reasons is what you feel is right, then pursue it definitely.
I know that I wanted a minister to perform our ceremony (from my FI’s family church), but had originally wanted to do it on the beach on the sand right in front of our reception venue (it’s waterfront w/its own pier too). However it was more important for FI and his family if we married in that church. It means alot to him and to his parents, so I understand all of this.