Post # 1
So yesterday FI was being super snuggly and sweet. We’re just chatting and he’s like… so you wanna TTC right away? I’m pretty set on not starting to TTC before the wedding cause people get all judgy and I like being traditional about it. But he wants to start TTC ASAP, I think my baby craziness is rubbing off! He’s like “I’m getting old, we want a big family, lets get started!” I was thinking of getting my Mirena out after our honeymoon in mid July but I’m thinking bump it up a couple months… I’m just so excited that FI is also excited. He also works loooong hours and gets pretty worn out so there’s better chances for BD on the honeymoon obviously. I’m excited and a touch nervous… its so soon!
I’m the first of my friends to get married and definitely the first to TTC. They’re all working and getting their masters and I feel kind of like I’m in a different life… my bestie said “no offense but we’re just not ready for marriage and kids” and another friend got all upset when I told her I was engaged because she “doesn’t want to get married yet”. We aren’t THAT young – I just turned 25. I’m totally cool with how they feel and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel like they should follow the crowd. I personally am so ready and excited and comfortable with the direction of my life but I feel lonely and like there’s noone to share it with IRL.
Can anyone relate?
Post # 3
@bella128: I can undertsAnd where your coming from, I am 25 too, and only one out of my friends married. But everyone walks down different paths in their lives I would never judge someone on when’s right and not right for them. As far as the TTC thing goes, not a single soul in my real outside the bee life knows we’re trying.
A) I think it’s no one business and frankly I don’t care what their options are.
B) I would hate for it to take a long time – and it might given my medical history- for us to get pregnant and have people along me all the time if were KU yet.
C) it’s a private time I feel like for a husband and wife.
Goodluck with all your choices, I am a firm believer of when the times right it will happen. Xo
Post # 4
While all our friends are in their late 20’s/early 30’s and most couples are married, most aren’t ready for kids and several couples don’t plan to have kids at all. It’s hard sometimes because we already don’t see most of our friends very often (everyone is spread out) and I know we’ll see them even less when our LO arrives.
Post # 5
@bella128: I know how you feel, although FI and I aren’t TTC we will be, we’ll probably start just before the wedding, which TBH is still awhile away, but I know how you feel in the sense that, I’m the only one of my friends who is engaged planning a wedding. I don’t have many close friends, and the ones I do have are on a totally different page then I am, and when I even talk about the wedding, it will be for about 5 seconds and they’ll change the subject. I’m 23 right now so I’m a younger bride-to-be, so I think its normal that I don’t have anyone IRL that I can relate to, thats my age anyway.
My brother and future SIL are planning thier wedding.. But Her and I aren’t that close, even though she is my MOH haha.
So, I kinda know how you feel, not really being able to share with people you know, but at least you have us bees here you can share your awesome news with! =)
Post # 6
@bella128: oh I can definitely relate! I feel like my friends are on different wave lengths sometimes. I’m scared that our friendships will suffer because of it. 🙁
Post # 7
I’m a little older (30), and my friends transitioned at different times from loving the single life to weddings and then babies. I think the only thing that gets very annoying is when one person will only talk about what is going on their life. For example, one of my girlfriends became a stepmom, and from the time they started dating seriously to now (about 5 years), all she will talk about is her stepson’s activities and being a stepmom, she rarely goes out and when she does, she just won’t give it a rest. Obviously, we are still friends, but she doesn’t get invited out as much because she just won’t talk about anything else. We all try to be understanding that we get that way when things are new, but after 5 years, it got old.
The advise I have for you is if you want to share what you are going through with your friends, be cautious about not dominating the conversation or forgetting that they have interesting things going on too. Also, be careful who you share it with. If it happens to take you longer than a few months, you may find the friendly questions burdensome and the stares at your stomach every time you turn down a drink annoying. Share only with people you feel you can trust to be descrete with it and who will be supportive, not judgemental or gossipy.
Post # 8
@bella128: sorry to read your friends, even though they cant relate with you, cant be happy and supportive of you. DH and I are the last of all our friends who got married and we are also the only ones that have no children yet, but we are TTC (just nobody knows), but we were still supportive and happy for our friends. When my bff got pregnant i went with her to her first ultrasound and also when she found out of the gender of the baby and I went with her to register for baby stuff (so much fun) , i couldnt have been happier for her. I dont understand why people, in this case your friends, cant just be supportive and happy for you. Maybe they are jelly of you? sounds to me like you got your life together and good for you, lady!!! We can all related with you here, so feel free to talk to any of us ;)))) GL
Post # 9
this is so true…I can relate big time. I am 27 ( was the first of my friends to marry) but am definately the first of my friends to think about babies….I feel like noone understands really they are all in party mode!
my husband (he is 30 years old)’s friends are all the opposite….weddings and babies left right and center!
I come on here to de-brief for my baby fever…the bees are so helpful! the most important thing is that you and your SO are on the same page and are ready together as a team. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing. I don’t think there is a perfect age either, when you are emotionally and financially ready I say go for it!
Post # 10
thanks all of you 🙂 I’m glad I have the beee!
Post # 11
Hi, I know that this isn’t exatly what you asked, but I thought I’d offer some advice from the perspective of someone who has spent 1+ year on this TTC board.
If I were you, I would go ahead and remove the Minera ASAP so that you can get your body back to its natural state ASAP. You can do this even if you are still on the fence about when to really start TTC – just use another way of preventing pregnancy (condoms, pull-out) until you are sure that you are ready to try. I would especially recommend this since it sounds like both of you and DH would be okay if you had an oops baby.
I stopped birth control the same month as I started TTC, and I felt so lost about what my body was doing, what my normal cycle was like, etc. It really helps to get a jump start on TTC if you know what your normal cycle is like.
Good luck to you!