Post # 1
Now that my SO’s sister is married after a beautiful wedding this past weekend, my SO now has the green light to propose! Though our timeline is sometime this summer, I had asked him not to propose so soon before her wedding so that we didn’t steal any of her thunder. And being a good brother, he respected that request.
At the wedding we were absolutely bombarded by people asking about our plans! Thankfully my SO and I are on the same page, and we were able to take all of the pressure in stride. It is exciting to know that they are all so excited for our happiness.
But now starts the countdown! Our timeline is sometime this summer. I had joked with my SO that I know he is going to propose on September 20th, the very last day of summer, just so that he can torment me for as long as possible. He has taken this joke and run with it, constantly jokingly hinting at how he has 4 more months left until September 20th and how far it is away. However, I think the proposal is actually much, much closer.
We are heading on a trip on June 21st to Mackinaw Island. He has taken care of all of the planning for this trip, and I am very suspicious! I’m almost positive that he has the ring in his possession now. He went on a secret errand this past weekend, and I have a guess that he went to pick it up then. So admittedly, my hopes are getting up! The trip is only a couple of weeks away, and it is incredible to imagine that in just a few days I may say yes to spending the rest of my life with the man of my dreams!
However, though I feel that I have reasons to believe that it is going to happen, I fear getting my hopes up too high. What if it doesn’t happen? What if I leave our trip disappointed? If that turns out to be the case, I would hate for that to overshadow our time together.
Bees, I need your support. How do I keep my excitement in check so that I am not disappointed if it doesn’t happen the way I hope?
Post # 3
This is super exciting! And if I were you I know I’d be bouncing off the walls. But, you’re right. It might not happen. Try to look at it as a vacation like any other. I know that’s easier said than done. But I’m sure you’ll have a great time, ring or no ring.
Post # 4
Yay! That is so exciting!
If I were you, I would just plan my days with a few activities each day just to keep my mouth shut and my mind focussed on other things.
Post # 5
That is such an exciting time! My best advice is to try not to think about a proposal (as impossible as it seems, trust me I know) and focus on having a wonderful vacation. I’ve been to that island and its so cool. Just try and let things happen or you’ll drive yourself nuts! I know how hard it can be though.
Post # 6
@MountainWolf: he’s probably as excited as you and will do it sooner than September the 20th! It could happen on the trip, or that could be to throw you off the scent and he’ll just do it at a completely different time! Either way you’ll be engaged by September! So just focus on that But if i wear you I would have the nails done for that June trip just in case!!
Post # 7
expectation is the root of all disappointment. don’t ruin a great vacation by putting the possibility of the proposal above spending time with your BF. You can really taint what’s supposed to be a good time by doing that… I found out from one of his friends that my then BF might want to propose to me and it gave me so much anxiety because I was expecting it to happen left and right. when it didn’t happen for months, I relaxed, and within a few weeks, he did it. and i think i enjoyed it so much more than i would have if i had been looking out for it.
Post # 8
I would agree with PP who said just try to focus on your vacation. I had to tell myself repeatedly over as 2 week period to not think about a proposal and it completely ruined my holidays. He proposed not long after, but I spent a lot of time obsessing over something I had no control over and it ruined an otherwise awesome time for me. Have a great holiday and if you come home with a ring, that would be SO wonderful! But if not, you still had a wonderful vacation with the man of your dreams! And know that its not far off and you’ll be celebrating before you know it!
Post # 9
My birthday was Thursday and we spent a really romantic evening together. I sort of thought he would ask that evening but he didn’t. we had a great time anyway. I did feel a little disappointment but it evaporated when I thought to myself that he is planning to do this and for whatever reason his plan didn’t include tonight and that’s fine. he (hopefully) only gets to do this once and it’s big deal for him to do this his way. I’m fine with that.
Your SO has something in mind and whether it’s elaborate or low key, he’s planning it for you. if that plan doesn’t include proposing during your vacation, trust his judgment and have faith that he’s choosing not to do it then because he feels another date would be better.
Post # 10
@MountainWolf: Focus on just having fun with the SO, and that’s it. Once you get engaged, the pressure will be on to plan a wedding and get married (assuming you want a wedding and to get married within the next couple years), and you may not have a chance to just take a deep breath and relax with the SO on vacation thinking about nothing else. It sounds like your SO days are numbered from what I am reading here, hence focus on enjoying each one of them and continuing to build what you have with the SO.
P.S. FWIW, I am so JEALOUS that you are going on vacation. I won’t be due for my next vacation until this fall the earliest b/c of summer classes + work busy season. So enjoy this opportunity! 🙂 And if he proposes? Added BONUS!
Post # 11
Thank you for all of your advice, Bees! We are a few days in to our vacation now, so I am stealing a moment in these early morning hours to write this. It has been absolutely incredible so far! No proposal (at least not yet…), but still incredibly romantic. As a bit of an update, I honestly now have no idea if he is going to propose or not on this trip.
To explain, you’d have to understand us and our dynamic, but the SIUP just doesn’t work for us. We love to joke about it all the time! He loves to torment me in good fun about how long it is going to be before he proposes or how many, many months it will be before it happens, while I joke right back about how he missed his chance to brag about how incredible his proposal was when a romantic moment passes or playfully call him the most evil boyfriend ever for making me wait. It’s hard to capture this dynamic here, but it is all loving and playful and in good fun, and it works for us. Well, that dynamic has not changed on our trip. We were listing all of the romantic things that we have already done in these few days, and my SO joked, “I know exactly what you are thinking. ‘So many perfect places to propose!’ But that would be too expected! I have to catch you off guard…” We joked about it for a long while but I began to think that maybe he is telling the truth. Maybe it is too expected. Maybe he is not going to do it here. And I came to accept. I took all of the advice given here and refused to let any disappointment put a damper on our time together in this beautiful place.
BUT then we went to his cousins wedding last night. It was a gorgeous destination wedding and part of the reason for our trip here. His aunt asked him not so subtly when I was nearby when he was going to propose, and he responded just a little too loudly so I could hear, “Soon. But she doesn’t know it yet…” Ahhhh!!!
Well, that was a very long update with really no update Since I am still waiting just like I was a few weeks ago. But ong story short, I am thoroughly enjoying our trip, am madly and completely in love with this man, and I have no idea when he is going to propose! Life is good, even when waiting. 🙂