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why don't you go with him? Is that an option? Maybe start looking ASAP for a position out there?
DH and I just became long distance this year for his job in the Navy. He is away for the school part of his job currently, and I am on a contract with my school district so I didn't have the option to move with him.
LDR's work if you make them work. If you've been together for 3 years, distance is, IMO, actually easier because you have a strong base to work from. It's tough and some days I absolutely hate it, but ultimately DH and I have grown stronger as a couple, and as individuals. We have much better communication skills, we're able to verbalize feelings, and we've learned to really pick our battles.
I feel as a woman that I have become more confident and strong. I'm not afraid to go get my car fixed and tell them exactly what I want done. I don't really have the option not to because DH isn't here. I love having the security of my marriage and also having the freedom of being semi-single and making my own routines and schedules. Sure, I enjoy doing that with DH too, but it's nice when it's just me sometimes.
Plus, the anticipation of seeing each other is awesome -- being reunited is seriously the BEST feeling in the world and makes saying goodbye easier because I have that to count down to again. Oh, and I personally think distance is good for your sex life in a way because sex after not being together for a month or so is incredible! DH and I do a lot of "naughty" things that we might not have had the chance to try had we not been separated.
If you'll be apart for a year and a half, at least you will be busy with school/clinicals. That's key! Start new routines and habits just for you, like a spin class or volunteering. Visit him often, and I'm sure he'll want to come home a lot also. Skype is a great resource too.
Make a pros/cons list with your SO. Talk about his feelings too and what he sees being benefits and harships for your relationship.
Thank you, but I unfortunately couldn't move because of school and my year of clinical hours I have to complete where I am currently before I can practice. Otherwise, I'd be right there! That's what makes it more difficult...
Heya!
It's kinda funny you posted this, because I just got a job today where I'll be away from DH for at least 2 weeks at a time (2 weeks there, 2 weeks home, repeat). It'll definitely be strange entering into a LDR when we never ever have.
But I think it really helps to remember that this is just temporary. Write down a list of all the good things about the job (higher salary, more opportunities, etc.) to look at when you need to. Surround yourself with pictures of you two together, and remember you'll definitely cherish the time you get with him even more.
Soon enough you can relocate to be with him, or maybe he will even get to stay. You never know. Message me if you wanna talk or vent! We'll be some lonely ladies in the next little while, I suppose.
@piglet_625: Thank you SO SO much for your post. Everything you said was really helpful and makes it seem like maybe I could try to find a way to make it work if it happens. He said he would turn it down if they ask him to move, but I wouldn't want him to because it's such an amazing opportunity! I think we will make a pros/cons list tonight when we get home, that's a great idea!
@soon2bhis: I know I will be keeping my fingers crossed he will get offered the position here rather than having to relocate, but I want to be prepared incase it works out the other way. Thank you so much, you're so sweet, I will definitely be messaging you when I need someone to talk to! :)
Just an update: He was selected to go to a final interview out of state! After a lot of discussions, we've both come to the conclusion that he should accept the job if he's offered it and I will move out a few months after he starts. I'll be able to finish the remainder of my classes online also, which is a HUGE life-saver. Just wanted to say thank you to you all for helping me out, you're seriously all pretty amazing!
Keep us updated! I hope it works out for the best for both of you! And good luck to him!
Wow! This has been one of the longest waits! I have a huge update: He was offered the job as of today, and a new salary almost triple what he was making! I am so unbelievably happy for him-its his dream job! I'm also nervous because, he has to move to North Carolina! I was secretly hoping if it was out of state that it would be there :) I'm overwhelmed with emotions right now because as happy as I am for him, I'm nervous and sad that we will be living apart for 7 months until I graduate. :( We thankfully made a pact that one of us will fly out a minimum of once a month (if not more!) so that we still get to see each other. I am sooo happy! (and a lil scared!) Any advice on things to do to still feel in touch when living so far away from your significant other would be very appreciated! We're in the midst of planning our wedding and I have a feeling it will bring me to tears when he's not here to help with things as much... xoxoxo
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SO and I have been together for a little over 3 years and I have been overly giddy the last few weeks as I know a proposal is going to happen any day now. BUT, today he received a call from a big company that wants to schedule two interviews this week for an amazing job that I have been wanting him to get because I know how much he wants it. It would be almost a double in salary and open up so many more doors for him, so I am ultimately excited for him. The only thing we just found out is... there is a 95% chance he will have to relocate and I am so sad that it has made me lose my happy "we're getting engaged soon" feelings. I honestly don't know how I would handle a LDR and I am finishing up my last year and a half of school/clinical hours so me moving is pretty unlikely... Part of me feels like maybe we should push an engagement off until we find out about things... Part of me doesn't think I could handle being in a LDR when I don't even have family within 2000 miles of where I live. Sorry for my rant, I'm just nervous and don't know how to handle this because if he is offered the job, I want him to take it more than anything because it will make him SO happy... Any advice would be great...