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So I just thought I'd share my story here and maybe see if anyone else feels the same.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years. I have been getting pretty anxious about wanting to get engaged late. About 2 years ago he asked me what ring I wanted and I showed him some styles I liked. He told me he wanted to use the center diamond from his grandmother's ring and I agreed to that. Needless to say, during this time, I have asked him about when he was going to ask me and would get upset sometimes (I know, I should have just been patient but ladies who have waited a long time know what it's like!).
So after one night of asking him about it and pouting (ugh), he ends up emailing me a picture of the ring saying "This will put your mind at ease I hope, but I'm not giving it to you yet". That was kind of disappointing in itself because although the ring was absolutely beautiful, it would no longer be a surprise. BF is notoriously bad at keeping surprises.
Today he finally proposed. He has never been a man of many words, but I was hoping at least for the proposal he would say something sweet. We just bought a house and spent our first night together in it last night. This morning we woke up and talked and lounged around in bed for a while. He got up and went to "go get ready" and I laid in bed a while longer. Then he came back upstairs and got down on one knee next to the bed, opened the ring box and said "Will you marry me?" That is all he said! Then I said "aren't you going to give any kind of speech?" and he goes "I love you, you are perfect and I want to spend my life with you. So will you marry me?".
I love him and love the ring, but I guess I just wanted more fireworks. If the ring had been a surprise, I would have been blown away by it. But I already knew what it looked like. And I was really hoping he'd say something profound and meaningful, and instead he just did the basic "will you marry me". And it was cute that he asked me after our first night together in our new house, but he didnt really do anything sweet, like make me breakfast or do anything out of the ordinary.
Anyway, like I said, overall I am happy and excited, but I just feel like the proposal was boring. Anyone else relate at all?
LOL, my damn fiance did the same thing. Got on one knee underwater so I couldn't even understand him and said "will you marry me"
It was so odd *rolleyes*
when my diamond ring arrived we went to dinner and I was hoping he'd propose that night, but all I got was "Lauren, will you marry me...again?"
I understand the dissapointment of a less than romantic proposal, but oh well :)
Some guys just don't have a way with words. My husband didn't say a lot when we got engaged either. I think that we see all these movies where the proposal is all fireworks and a Shakespearean speech and that really isn't reality for most people.
Congrats on your engagement!
Well, it could be worse. I've been engaged before, and my ex told me he had a present for me. Then, while he was sitting in the passenger seat of my car, he handed me the ring. Not even a "will you marry me?"
I completely understand being underwhelmed by a proposal.
I was totally underwhelmed by his proposal. He hid the ring on our christmas tree for me to find, and didn't even officially ask or put it on me. I was so disspointed that he proposed the one time of year that my friends and family weren't here to celebrate with us. But we got married two years later! We've been married almost 4 months now, and he has learned how to be much more romantic.
Congrats on the engagement and the house!
I think it still sounds very sweet :-) What a great way to start your engagement - the first day in your brand new house.
At least you didn't blow the proposal, like I did. When my fiance got down on one knee, I thought he was just getting down to eye level with me, so I just hugged him. Doh!
Sometimes they have a romantic speech planned out but when it comes time the words leave them. 5 years and it's finally time to marry the man!
My dad never even proposed to my mom. They were talking one day and my mom just said "lets get married". He agreed so they went out, bought a ring, and a month later they were married! She still jokes about how he never asked her. Technically Mr. Shef neer asked me to marry him. He asked if I would be his angel (his nic-name for me) forever. I raz him about it sometimes but in all honesty, I can't remember a single word he said before he got down on one knee. Sometimes it is just the emotion behind how they ask you that matters most.
Mine was a little underwhelming too. He was super nervous and all he could get out was "I love you more than anything, will you marry me?"
Very anticlimactic... but I get to marry that man of my dreams and that is whats most important :-D
My FH didn't go to any great length or give any fancy speaches, heck, I was shocked that he even proposed. I see all the great stories and kind of think I missed out, but he makes up for it in how he treats me every day and the great lengths he is going through to make the wedding perfect.
My poor FI- I didn't give him a chance to say anything! I was completely surprised and just started saying yes once I realized what was going on!
My best friend's husband didn't get to plan a proposal, really. She kept bugging him about it and kind of "declared" that they were getting married before he had a chance. He was pretty bummed about it.
Sorry the proposal didn't blow you away. He can always make up for it by doing something surprisingly romantic at the wedding (hint, hint, boy!)...
I don't even remember what FI said, but it was brief. I was just in shock that he was finally proposing. He got down on his knees (yes, both of them) while I was sititng on the couch and prefaced the proposal with "There's something I want to ask you..." and I just thought he was being silly. It wasn't the most romantic proposal in the world, but it was sweet and genuine and he had apparently just gotten the ring that day and couldn't wait any longer to ask. It was very low key and that's what I wanted.
Anyway, you're marrying the man you love! Congrats! :)
I didn't get a speech or anything either. I just got the 'will you marry me?' I didn't think it was boring or lacking though since I wasn't really expecting anything or am that type of person that imagined some big proposal and the whole works. Honestly, I think we all dream it up to be fireworks and all and makes guys feel like they have to live up to this dream when in reality in most cases these days, women pick their own rings, or know the ring is in the house or in your case, knows what it looks like and the 'proposal' is really just a little formality. You're engaged, thats all that matters! Congrats!
My ex-husband proposed to me on the phone, while I was at work.
When I proposed to my wife, I said something really articulate like, "So, what would you think of the idea of getting married?"
When my son was ready to propose, he was heading home to see his now fiancée, but unexpectedly ran into her out on the street. He therefore began his proposal, "While I have you here..."
Honestly, some people are just more inclined toward romantic gestures than others. If your FI is not so inclined, he is probably not going to start once you are married, either. However, that doesn't mean he'll be a bad husband. Intelligence, loyalty, sense of humor, and a whole lot of other characteristics are much more important to a marriage than an ability to engage in romantic gestures. You just have to decide for yourself whether he has enough of the qualities you want to be a good husband to you.
Aww, sorry you're not exactly thrilled. My FI actually tried to do the thing Jim did to Pam on the office where he fake proposes, but the goober had flowers and the ring in his hand.
My dad proposed to my mom in the parking lot at a Dairy Queen on his lunch break, though, so FI didn't have a lot to compete with :).
Just enjoy being engaged. The proposal isn't going to be the most important part, I promise!
I was really underwhelmed with my proposal too. He did it at a hockey game and even though the guy told him when it would pop up so he would be ready, he wasn't. He thought they were going to announce it. They also had shown a proposal already, then a birthday message, and THEN his proposal, so even though I had been 99% sure it was happening that day, as soon as the birthday message came up I was sad because I didn't think it was going to happen. There was no speech, and I even had to tell him that he needed to put the ring on my finger. We were both kind of disappointed with how it happened, so he re-did it later, but again, no speech. It took me until the next morning to be okay with how it all went, realizing had it been a huge romantic gesture (it kind of was, he put it up for the whole hockey arena to see) that went perfectly, it wouldn't have been 'us'
My Fiance did the same thing. No big speech. I turned around and he was on one knee and blurted out "will you marry me" I think he was a little disapointed that I didn't cry but I said "how would I have had any time to cry" I was a bit underwhelmed by his words but I will say that with time I have come to love and appreciate our engagement more and more. My fiance is not a speech giver and its so like him to just blurt it out with few words and since he is my love its perfect because he was him. So give it some time, you might gain a new perspective
Some guys just stink at the whole, grand gesture thing, don't they? Mine wasn't even going to ask me! He just handed me the box. I told he needed to ask the question that went with it and he said, would you think about marrying me? Seriously? Not romantic! But, it's the symbol that the symbol represents and that's what I had to tell myself! Are you going to post a picture of your new ring? Congrats!
My FI proposed at home in our house (which I was happy about, as I didn't want any kind of public gesture). I was a little disappointed that he didn't make a speech or anything, as he isn't much for romantic language and I thought this might be my chance to hear something. But the proposal was a total surprise, and I've realized over the years that my man's actions do his talking for him, so the effort he put into finding the perfect ring and proposing conveyed enough.
I am going to try to get him to put personal touches into his vow though!
That is still pretty sweet.First morning in the new house..and FINALLY getting your ring!
I think you feel a little underwhelmed because you saw the ring before.I almost felt that way too.My FH asked me if i'd marry him when we were drunk in california.No ring or anything serious.but right around thankgiving we started looking at rings online together so he could see what style i wanted...i got excited.looked thru a million..narrowed it down to a few...and then heard nothing.christmas came...nothing.I thought he ordered it...then got secretly disappointed..i thought nope..its not gonna happen.
Then I get home from a horrible 12 hour work day a few days after xmas...were sitting around talking..and he starts talking about the ring thing again..and marriage..and asks why i want to marry him and always be with him....I tell him.he looks teary eyed...and im not expecting anything still.. then he says..."would you like your engagement ring now"..and i was like..theres no way he got it..but then he left the room..came back with a little box and sat next to me..he was really tearing up...and then told me to open the box...and there it was..my ring.He was a bit bummed because the one we liked was sold out..and kept saying we can exchange it...He was just super emotional.and i knew this moment was huge for him.turns out he was trying to do it on xmas...but it the expedite shipping he paid extra for..failed.lol.
Its not how i dreamed it would be..no one knee..jaws popping out of the water fireworks..but to me..looking back at that moment..totally perfect.and the ring..hell no im not exchanging it!!its perfect.I wouldn't change any of it.Even though i saw this ring before...and did almost feel underwhelmed..totally not at all now.
and you can always look back at that moment..and your house..and know that the first morning there...he gave you the ring..and here you are with your wedding to plan!!congrats!and best wishes to you!!
The only words of advice I have is to look over some proposal stories of some of the other ladies on here and you'll see that when it came down to it, most of them can't even remember what their FI said if he said more than "will you marry me?"
Just enjoy basking in the newly engaged glow :)
FI gave it to me right when I got home from work. He had worked the night before so he was sleeping when I got home. I woke him up to say hi and he like immediately blurted out "I got your ring. Let's get married."
He promises that he'll still do a "real proposal" but that was in August so...
Read my proposal, feel better about yours ;) Congrats on the new house and the engagement! You have many more years of memories to build, don't stress about this one too much, his heart was in the right place :)
@bakerella: haha your proposal was one of the first things I ever read on here. It just sounds so much like my grandpa that it just warms my heart.
I'm sorry, I think I'd feel very similarly to you if I was in that situation!
But it is super-exciting to be engaged, I think you just have to focus on that and then starting thinking about the wedding (which will hopefully make up for the anti-climactic proposal!)
PS- Show us your ring!! :)
@SoontobeMrsA: Awwww! That's so sweet! It still makes me giggle, but I know what the OP was saying about wanting a very romantic one-of-a-kind type proposal. I'm sad I missed out on the romance part, but I did get the one-of-a-kind ;)
What he did was really sweet. It sounds so cute. It kind of seems like you ruined it for yourself a little when you kept asking him and pouting about it. He was bound to give in to make you happy.
When my FI first proposed I was only confused cos he didn't say anything, or get down on one knee, I thought he was being silly. 5 months later he tried again, this time got down on one knee (for less than half a second!) but still didn't say anything romantic like I was hoping for. And then we spent the next 30mins driving round looking for a gas station, woo. Oh I so know what you mean with the pouting, I was an expert for those 5 months before the "real" proposal finally came :-p
I loved reading all your stories, ladies! Our men are so funny arent they...Anyway, I guess I just wanted to have this big story to share or have this big moment where I cried or something, but already I am starting to feel less disappointed. It was sweet and "him", and the most important thing is that I am engaged to a wonderful, funny, great man and have an absolutely beautiful ring too! I will post a pic or two too since someone requested (one of them is the one he sent to me with him holding it, just so ya'll don't think I have manhands)
Haha at least he tried to do it at a sentimental point in time, after your first night in your new house. My uncle proposed to my aunt like this (they've been married for over 30 years by the way): he tossed her a ring box and said, "Maybe this will shut you up for awhile". I know it sounds terrible but if you knew him, you'd get it! And she said yes but it's still something they laugh about.
Yeah. Your story is a lot better than mine. He proposed while we were eating dinner in my kitchen. Not even on one knee. "Oh we should get engaged." "... is that a proposal?" "...yes?"
When the ring came, I told him I was expecting a one knee proposal. So he waited until I went to the bathroom and kneeled in front of door as I was drying my hands. "Will you marry me? ... and this counts, right?"
I am sorry but to me that is actually sweet. He got down on one knee right? And asked you the correct question. I guess I am confused as to why you think that wasn't enough?
He loves you and wants to spend the rest of your life together, isn't that enough?
I laughed out loud when I read "aren't you going to give any kind of speech?" like it's an awards show.
Honestly, be happy he got down on one knee and asked formally. I didn't even get a ring or a proposal, we more or less just talked it over at dinner and agreed we were headed for marriage.
It sounds like you have a great relationship, and it's real, not a fairy tale. He gave you a nice proposal and a gorgeous ring. Enjoy it, be happy and throw your expectations out the window because marriage isn't always a fairy tale either.
My guy is a man of few words too...but honestly, it's so much better to have the substance rather than the romance.
Don't get me wrong, I love romantic gestures, but down the road isn't the most romantic thing in the world to have a man devoted to you all through the years?
Oh geez. This reminds me so much of my own proposal. At least you didn't know the day, there had been so much build up (I knew he had the ring etc) and I was able to pretty easily assume what day too. Then just as anticipated he got down on one knee, simply said "will you marry me" and then that was it.
In truth it was lackluster but when I leave out the details and say I was engaged in Napa Valley on a wine tasting tour it sounds more fun.
He can't even write nice things in cards. Oh well. The main thing is that I know he does love me and the wedding was great! Your ring is gorgeous! Enjoy planning.
I think your engagement story is super cute and so amazing -I would have loved something like that (he proposed a month after we got our first house...ha!)
Your ring is beautiful! Congrats!!
Aww, I'm sorry to LOL. It's a cute story though. Some guys are just more to the point.
My husband proposed similarly, although he did trick me into walking down the the beach. When we got there, he got down on one knee and asked if I would like to be his wife.
He didn't even have a ring!
I like your story! I think its simple and sweet and I dont think that a proposal needs to have the fireworkseffect. The fact that he loves you and told you he wanted to spend the rest of your life with you ..thats whats important.
I understand how you feel. My FH isn't good with emotion or romance. I'm not either really, but when it comes to something like that, I can understand that you might expect a bit more.
My FH and I had only been together about 2 years when he proposed. I wasn't expecting it then, but we had been talking about it, we'd browsed pictures of rings on the internet and were sure that it's what we wanted. When the proposal came, I was shocked. I was in my pj's, just gotten over the flu and was laying on the couch. He came over, sat down and said, "So um, will you marry me?"
...
I said yes and I waited for him to hand me my ring. You know, that's how I'd pictured it in my mind. But he didn't have one. I still don't have one.
Looking back on it, it's funny now. While it may not have been the most romantic or "perfect" proposal with candles and a ring, I was excited to take that next step. Not every proposal gives you that whole "fireworks" feeling...
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