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Mr Pretzel and I took our first of three NFP classes this weekend and we are so excited! It isn't a a requirement of our marriage prep- it was something that we discussed and decided on together. We are doing the Couple to Couple League course which is Sympto-thermal method. (STM)
It sounds like a funny thing to be excited about but we both geeked out a little on all of the charting. I'm on day 2 of charting so far and looking to see if there are any other NFP newbees out there and how things are going for you.
My favorite moment of the class was the husband who said "I can't see how she'll be able to see how open her cervix is". Priceless...
It is so cool that a bee is using NFP! I took a Couple to Couple League course too and it was really neat. Our couple had used the method from the beginning of their marriage over a course of 30 years (until she went through menopause) and had five totally planned pregnancies---really inspiring. I am 2.5 years in myself and can practically do it in my sleep. Happy charting.
@Chelseamorning- I was telling my FI about you before our class- I have read a number of your posts on the subject and I was telling him how encouraging it was to have a bee who was doing this successfully. Our teaching couple has been using it for 30 years also and they had 8 planned children. I was really excited that all of the people in our class wanted to be there. Two were non-catholic, (one TTC and one wishing to not use BC) another young Catholic couple, and a couple who had a 4 month of daughter and who were both in the process of converting to Catholocism.
It was amazing the variety of situations. I'm hoping there are others on the boards just starting to learn about NFP so we can support each other.
Congrats! It's really exciting! The things you'll learn about yourself are amazing!
We still need to take the course, but reading the book "Taking charge of your fertility" has taught me a lot.
My FI and I took the Couple to Couple League class this fall and I'm only charting my 5th cycle. It's awesome how much more in tune I am with my body. I'm a little nervous about really putting it into practice, but it is comforting that I know others have made it work!
Right now the hardest thing is that there is a chance I might be in Phase 2 for our wedding night and honeymoon. I mean we've waited for what seems like forever and to have to wait then would just be a little disappointing. My cycle is pretty regular so we can kind of count it out and we are going to be cutting it close. If I can keep myself from getting too stressed out (and not extending the length of my cycle) we should be ok, but we'll just have to see how things play out!
kate6214 - I know a lot of people who had to wait a week to consummate their marriage... I'm so worried this may be us! lol. The way I see it, is that if on the wedding night we can't, at some point on the honeymoon we can... haha
Pretzel, that's so cool! I've read about NFP through Chelseamornings's copious posts, I'm amazed to see it's become so widespread as it sometimes seems on WB, and even a bee blogger now giving it a try. Keep us posted, we'd love to hear about your experience. I think it would probably be quite discussion-provoking if you were to do a blog post about it, if you felt comfortable. Lots of people have tons of questions about reproductive issues on here, as I'm sure we've all noticed.
I've been blabbering on about NFP for more than a year now at Weddingbee :), and it's like a sea change has happened. When I first started talking about it, I felt like the idea was mostly greeted with skepticism and even a little derision, like it was some sort of junk science being forced upon Catholic brides by a backward church with a secret plan for us all to be pregnant by the honeymoon.
What a difference a year makes. I don't know if people are more accepting or if they are just keeping their noses out of it if they don't think it's a legitimate method, but I am seeing so much more support for and interest in NFP here at Weddingbee. Of course NFP isn't the right choice for everyone, but it is definitely a legitimate choice for birth control that can be used easily, effectively, and successfully by many women, especially those who may not tolerate hormonal birth control. The morality behind it is sound from a Catholic perspective, but I will always maintain that you don't have to think hormonal birth control is wrong to think NFP can be right, just like you don't have to think condoms or the IUD are wrong to think hormonal birth control is right. It's just another choice.
@chelseamorning - I just want to say I love what you said about "you don't have to think that hormonal birth control is wrong to think NFP can be right" - I strongly believe that anything that helps you get to know your body can only be a good thing, and I think NFP is really interesting, but I sometimes feel like people who practice/plan to practice NFP (mostly at my university, not on WB) look down on people who are on the Pill and aren't waiting until marriage. I think it's great when we can all talk about both methods, regardless of personal preference or religion.
Maybe it's the psychologist in me, but I think it's ridiculous to say that one method could possibly work for everyone. I wish all the methods of birth control and/or family planning, artificial or not, were discussed more openly and kindly.
Congrats on starting to chart! It is fun in a geeky kind of way :) I wish I had been taught how in high school, because my doctor wishes she had a longer history of charts to refer to (we're having some issues). So the sooner you start the better!
We just did our first NFP (Billings Ovulation Method) last week. It was FI first experience with it, but I had learned it in Catholic School before.
I really like the Billing method, as there is no cervix or temperature checking. Just noticing bodily fluid changes. It's pretty easy to understand (maybe just because I learned it so long ago.)
My FI is now excited about it and he does my chart for me every night, so that he know which days are green (Green means GO!) and when the Red days are coming!
@Kate: thanks! It's great to hear other people doing this. I hope you cycle works out for your wedding night- it would be hard to wait but not imposible. ;) Plus you might be all tuckered out from all that celebrating :)
@littlestbirds: I'll keep you updated. I'm in phase three right now- so the charting is pretty easy, can't wait for next cycle to start so we can test my powers of observation. :) I am praying about writing that post. I think it would have to be very carefully written and I really need the Holy Spirit's guidance. As I go through the next couple of months I will be looking for experiences that I have that might connect with readers. But I will definatly talk about it at some time. I've already been blabbing to my girlfriends at work about it. They are intrigued and none are Catholic. Please pray for me and my discernment about sharing my NFP experiences on the Blog. :)
@ Miss Key Lime: :) Mr P loves the charting- but he cringes when I give my "mucas" report lol...
Pretzel,
Many prayers for you. I wish you the best in figuring out how to discuss this topic on the blog. I'm Catholic and scarred to death of NFP, so I stayed on the pill, which which I was using to relieve heavy periods and nasty cramps. I'm hypothroid which tens to cause those problems. We waited for marriage to have sex. My husband woud love to use NFP but I think if he saw the amount of absteince involved he would change his tune. I follow a board on Delphi on NFP and there have been many surpise PG's which scares me, but most of all I'm scarred by my BIL and SIL that have three under three and numero 3 was defiently not planned. They are nine months apart, baby was 6 weeks early.
Well, one thing's for sure... it's the best for your HEALTH. Obviously, some people have very legit medical need, but the average woman doesn't need to spend the money, pump herself full of the chemicals and hormones, hinder a naturally functioning system, and then expel those hormones back into the water supply and environment. You can search the bee and there's thread after thread... "I've lost my sex drive" "This is making me sick" "It makes me depressed." To me, religion aside, it seems like a no brainer! lol
The other day there was a thread talking about how BC has messed up her once regular to the hour system and now she's having issues TTC... There's just no need... Yes, it requires more "responsibility" but it also helps women catch heath issues more quickly because nothing is masked or hindered...
Best of luck on writing that one! Let us know if you want to run it by anyone or get some help or stories one day...
kayakgirl...i am also on the pill for medical reasons--if i am not on it i only get a menstral every 2 months or so which they said could cause clots. We re not really sure what we are going to do yet but we have to decided because there is only 3 months until the wedding :(
alishadhs4 - have you had your natural hormone levels checked? If your estrogen levels are low that could be a reason you only get a period every 2 months....
@KLP - I definitely see the merit to it, but I love my body on the Pill. I don't think I could give it up because of the magic of No Cramps. When I'm off of it, I literally have a day or two where my cramps are so bad that I can't get out of bed. I've been that way my whole life. The Pill I'm on now totally relieves me from that, the bloating, irritation, and general PMS symptoms. That's a win for me when nothing else I tried worked!
Yay NFP! I look forward to reading that awkward yet glorious post, haha. :)
@lilyfaith: I used to have problems with that stuff too. Monster cramps and so on. Interestingly, the better I know my body, the more I relax and take care of symptoms. I get almost no cramps anymore, so I must be doing something right!
@KLP...i dont think it was ever checked and i have tried being off the pill several times since i first started it 7 years ago. However, i would assume that is why because doesnt the pill give you estrogen?
lilyfaith, I was pointing out secular/biological points because most people think that only "religious" people use NFP methods... when in reality... many atheists even use it. I was also pointing out that a lot of people are not like you, they are unhappy on BC pills but don't know what else to do.. and think they're doomed to being miserable or Mrs. Duggar....
alishadhs4 - some do... and I think most do... Do you get regular periods when you are supposed to get them on the pill? In order for your body to do everything it's supposed too, release an egg, not get fertilized, and shed the uterus, a certain level of hormones in your body have to be reached... this won't happen until it's reached, so your body is kind of in waiting mode for that peak to happen. if it's not reached, it doesn't happen. It's the very basics of "cycle" biology.... I would think that would be a first test by your DR instead of telling you that you might clot... I would personally want to know why it wasn't working right...
I wish I could do something like this, but endo precludes it. But everyone should just use what method makes them happiest/most comfortable and I think a lot of people would be curious, if you make a post, Pretzel!
@KLP...yes my periods are extremely consistant on the pill. Except when i forget to take a couple then it might be off a little bit, but for the most part Iknow the exact day/time I am going to get it. The type I am on is one of the lowest amounts of estrogren.. maybe i will call my doctor to find out about maybe getting some testing done to find out what is going on.
Is NFP effective with periods that sparatic?
@alisha, NFP is a real-time method, so yes, it works with irregular cycles. The simplest explanation is that with NFP you look for signs of fertility coming and fertility going. Before fertility comes it's called Phase I; during the fertile time is Phase II; after the fertile time is Phase III. You can have unprotected sex during Phases I and III and not get pregnant. Phase II is when you could get pregnant.
With the sympto-thermal method (STM), to determine the transition in and out of Phase II, there is a combination of signs that cross-check each other. When you see the fertile signs arrive, you take measures to not get pregnant (if you don't want to get pregnant that cycle) for the entire time you have fertile signs. The fertile signs disappear after you ovulate, and after you are sure they are gone (by waiting at least 3 days of no signs) you can have unprotected sex until you get your period again.
I have used NFP with only one irregular cycle so far and it worked. Although I have regular cycles for the most part, a few months ago I had a cycle that lasted 40 days. I kept waiting and waiting to see that I had ovulated, but the cross-checking sign (the temperature rise) did not come. I thought maybe I had missed it, but abstained from sex to be safe. Then a week later I got the cross-check sign indicating ovulation had occurred---meaning that if I had had sex, it would have been at optimal pregnancy-achieving time! Phew! The method was right; I just had to trust it.
Nevertheless, if you have irregular cycles, it means Phases I and/or II, when you are working toward ovulation, are very long. For nearly all women Phase III is the same length, about 14 days. With irregular cycles you might find that your signs of fertility take a long time to appear. Or you might find they last a long time, which could mean a lot of abstinence or a lot of condoms.
Regardless you should be able to determine what your body is doing at any given point even with irregular cycles. And it would give you a chance to discover and address the underlying problem, like KLP2010 said. You might discover your body really does have a pattern, just not a 28-day one. And if it really is too hard to deal with the unpredictability, you can always switch to another method.
I think this is a very interesting concept, and I'm sure that avoiding hormones is probably usually best. However, I like Lilyfaith have horrible cramps that knock me out for two, three maybe even four days. I am also very irregular and can have periods that last 10+days. I was such a hormonal mess before birth control that it was ridiculous!
The throught of going off of hormonal birth control brings back awful memories...and I'm afraid of the day I will have to in order for us to procreate.
I do hope that no one would read this thread, or any other about NFP, and get the impression that they should feel pressured to switch away from hormonal birth control if that method is working well for them. While I do know many women who have reacted terribly to the pill, I also know several, like some of you who commented, who would call it a lifesaver for the help it has given them in relieving massive cramping and other menstrual side-effects. Go with what works best for you! I think that discussions like this one are best viewed as an encouragement for everyone to learn about all available methods and make an informed selection about which one is best for them, and not just assume that one size has to fit all, whether it be condoms, the pill, or NFP.
@pretzel I will definitely pray for you, I know making the decision on whether to write that post or not will be a tough one, and you are completely correct that it should be something to reflect and pray about rather than just jumping into. WB is a very supportive community and I would hope that everyone might look at it as an opportunity to openly discuss something new to them, but you do never know when someone might become offended.
For full disclosure, my personal feelings about NFP are that it is a great alternative for many women, and I love it for its reduction of impacts on the environment versus condoms, which go into landfills, or hormones, which enter the water supply and impact the ecosystem and subsequent human health. While I am a Christian, I don't object to the use of condoms or other types of birth control on religious grounds, so if we were to ever start on NFP we would probably use condoms during Phase II (the fertile phase). But as I said, I love that we can discuss these options openly so that more women are encouraged to explore whatever option works best for their bodies and their beliefs. Thanks for helping to broaden the discussion, Pretzel.
Thanks Littlest Birds. There are a lot of things to consider about NFP and I can only share my perspective and that of my FI. I can only speak to why we made this choice together and why it fits with our beliefs. I know that I sometimes have a strong voice, especailly when explaining my religious beleifs. I pray that I can keep let the beauty of the message shine through without sounding like I am judging others who don't make the same choice. Nonetheless, while I am keeping a future post in my brian I won't attempt one until I have more charting under my belt. I'm still a newbie at this.
Great thread! I am on the Nuvaring because I have very painful periods and ovarian cysts. I went off BC for a few months and got a very painful cyst. I'm not really sure what I will do about my cysts when we TTC, but I do know that when are getting close to that time (probably a year before), I would like to go off BC and use NFP so FI and I can learn more about my fertility. That way, when we are ready to start trying, we will be experts! I think NFP is a great way to know your body. It gets a bad rap but I think charting is actually a very woman-affirming thing to do. Instead of suppressing your natural cycle, you pay attention to it!
I thought of something that might be a benefit to NFP that I have heard much discussion on. This probably sounds weird, but as someone with a not-super-high sex drive, planned and already agreed upon breaks from sex sounds like it could be nice for a marriage, not to mention the anticipation that builds up to the time when you know you're going to be doing it. I just think it would keep things interesting!
@ Pretzel: I absolutely think you have achieved the right tone in everything that you wrote. While a few other boards made me think: Whoa...maybe you're being a little too presumptious, none of yours did. I think the hive would be very accepting and appreciate the opportunity to discuss this.
Like daniellemybelle said, I think that most women would agree that the charting could be very empowering. The whole idea of understanding and managing your fertility naturally can be very appealing.
We use NFP and it's been working like a charm. I love being able to take my temp and know that I'll be getting my period that day or not. Also, the knowledge about my body is so useful. We've been doing this for 2 months and for the first month we always used a condom, but now have been checking and double checking each day to see which phase we are in.
We made this decision for religious reasons but it has been great talking about it with non-religious friends. They seem unconvinced at first but when I tell them about everything, they are really supportive.
Good for you about beginning this interesting new process! I hope you do write a post about it!!!
@eholden Thank you!
@daniellemybelle I agree about the breaks part. It sounds counter-intuitive but its true.
@maisymay My non-catholic friends are intrigued too. :)
I never thought about breaks, which could be good since we have very different drives. Only problem is phase three is when you are normally dry, no fun and lube seems to cause yeast infections for me.
alishadhs4 - I would talk to your Dr. more in depth and not accept anything less than getting to the bottom of the issue. Also, if you were to chart, you would be able to go to your Dr. and say "OK, I'm not ovulating.... I begin to get the signs but ovulation never occurs." Or, "I ovulate every 50 days."
Keep us updated if you do, if you don't want to be on BC you shouldn't have to be... especially if it's for a potentially easily treated condition like your natural hormone levels. There's ways to get the needed levels off the pill.
@ pretzel & @ chelseamorning: Do either of you guys have any recommendations for books? Either what you are using/used in class or otherwise? I'm not entirely sure FI and I are interested in taking a class (we had a VERY bad experience with the teacher of the required course we had to take), but we are interested in reading up on it. One of my BMs has a book from her class, but I just wondered what you guys used/are using.
Thanks!
Go and get Taking Charge of Your Fertility. This book is amazing!
The only other book I have is from the course I took with the Couple to Couple League who I believe have an at home online course kit.
I agree with Kate. Taking Charge of your Fertility is a great book. The Couple to Couple League class option is great because with the class (online or in person) you get mentoring from a practicing couple. It's good to have people to take a look at your chart when something looks abnormal.
@KLP...Just an update, i have an appt with my gyn for this friday. I have been charting for 2 months without any signs of ovulation and been off birth control for almost 2.5 months. I have had some issues with my cervis previously, so i am wondering if there is an underlying problem and hope to get the bottom of it. I am also coming up on almost 35 days without a period this cycle. Its so frustrating and we just had out 3rd and last NFP class last night and its so depressing for me because everyone else seems normal.
@alishadhs4: I know how you feel. My period has never been regular. I need to go to the dr, but I'm uncomfortable they'll either brush me off or just stick me on the pill. I've been charting for a few months, I ovulated and gotten my period but sometimes I go for months without one. My sister has PCOS and I wouldn't be surprised if I had it. :(
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