Post # 1
5 years ago I dated J for about 5 months (we were both in our 30’s). We were very serious, talking about living together, marriage, etc. Obviously it didn’t work out – and I’m happy about that. I realize it wasn’t a good relationship and I know why we didn’t work. He at one point said that that if he couldn’t make it work with me, that he couldn’t make it work with anyone because I was that perfect for him (he, however, was not perfect for me).
He got married yesterday. And it’s weird. I am still FB friends with him (although he never posts anything) and I’m still FB friends with his best friend, which is how I knew about the wedding and the engagement.
I want to clarify that I’m not upset/jealous/etc. I am incredibly happy with DH and he is MUCH better man (and lover) than J was. It’s just WEIRD. And I don’t know WHY it’s weird. It’s just WEIRD 🙂
How did you feel when exes got married? Was it weird for you too??
Post # 3
@Glasgowbound: It’s weird in the sense that it was once a person you really knew and on an intimate level and now don’t know at all. But that’s the only weirdness. I don’t give it another thought after that. No feelings of sadness, jealousy or missing him.
Post # 4
@Glasgowbound: The first time it happened I was shocked. But, that could also be because he married a girl he met twice. But now I am generally happy for my exes but also a little relieved that it is not me (with them)!
Post # 5
@Glasgowbound: I could care less. I dated a guy for around 10 years and I heard through the grapevine that he is married with a kid now (I am not sure why anyone thought I’d care?). If it’s in my past, it really doesn’t have any impact on my future. I am totally over him and could care less what he does.
I’m sure if it had happened right after we broke up and I was still in the “getting over it” phase then I would care. As someone who is planning her own wedding to a much better guy, I am not fussed about him and I haven’t been for a long time. I think I’d feel weird if my partner cared about his exes getting married though :-
Post # 6
my Xdh got married very quickly after our divorce…frankly, i was quite happy….he finally started leaving me alone and stopped emailing me and focusing on his own life. I was actually happy for him.
Post # 7
Hmmm…I never gave a ton of thought about this.
I can say, though, that I feel that no matter what type of wedding you have…it should be a reflection of who you and your FI are as a couple. That being said, it was definitely interesting to see pics of exes and their weddings on FB…and how different/unexpected some of them were to me (now).
Post # 8
My ex and I only dated for about 10 months back when we were 17/18, so hearing about him getting married didn’t really hit me too hard. I mean, I cheated on him with my DH too, so… yeah. He actually ended up getting divorced and remarried by the time DH and I tied the knot, though, which I found a bit funny… and kind of sad.
Post # 10
@Glasgowbound: i wish my exes would get married. The one has been with his gf the same amount of time ive been with my DH and i’m like GOD, marry her already!
I want them to be happy. We didnt work for a reason and each relationship taught me something which lead me to Mr. Swizzle. I wouldn’t change any of that.
Post # 11
i don’t really know too much about all of my exes but i don’t think i would really care.
i am sure that a normal reaction for anyone would be “oh, okay”, a bit of shock for <5 seconds but then turn to happiness for them.
most of the guys that i dated were great and i really do wish them all well. there is definitely one, maybe two, that i would feel a bit sorry for the new fiance/wife though.
my last ex got engaged about a year after we split. this was the one where i felt sorry for the fiance. turns out she ended up dumping him 6 months later.
Post # 12
I am genuinely happy for him. I am THRILLED that it is not me that married him! Maybe it’s weird because he is really the only ex I have who’se gotten married – I only really dated 2 people before DH, and one I have had no contact with at all since we broke up. So J getting married is really the first time I’ve been presented with an ex getting married. I think it was more of just a shock – I honestly didn’t think he’d ever get married to anyone. So it’s just weird. Good for him, and happy I didn’t marry him (and reminds me why I need to be thnakful for DH every day).
Post # 13
My ex is getting married and I’m really happy for him. We split up on good terms and are still friends (dated for 3 years, lived together, etc), so I don’t harbor any resentment or jealousy. However, I never wanted to marry any of my exes, in fact the reason my adult relationships ended is because I just couldn’t commit. Plus, since the break-ups were all on my terms, my “getting over it” phases only lasted a couple of days.
Post # 14
@Glasgowbound: Honestly I really couldn’t care less about most of them.
There is one ex who I stayed friends with for years that I would be PSYCHED for if I found out he were getting married. He was hung up on our relationship for too long and I’d be so happy to see that he’s moved on.
There is one that might get under my skin a bit, though. Not because I want anything to do with him, but because he treated me so horribly that I still harbor a secret hope that he gets what’s coming to him and winds up miserable for the rest of his sorry life. I know that’s petty and immature and vengeful, but I’ve never met a meaner person than him in my entire life.
Post # 15
@Glasgowbound: I totally get the weird feeling! Im very young (20 here!) and one of my two serious boyfriends before FI was married like 1.5 years or something after we brokeup (coincidentally I broke up with him for FI :P) Soooo weird, but its not jealousy, its not sadness (the thought of him makes me cringe, literally) its just weird.
I think its because he is no longer in the phase of his life I knew him in. So, he isn’t the same person, not in the same place, and someone I once truly knew is no longer there – if that makes sense!
I felt the same way when one of my old best friends got engaged though, was such a weird feeling especially because I had never met him. She is moving on, as I am, to this big exciting phase in her life and my old life is slowly “disappearing” behind me. Those people, though sometimes its hard to remember, are moving on just like us and its hard to imagine the fact that they aren’t exactly as I left them!
Post # 16
@Glasgowbound: my first serious boyfriend (end of HS and 1st year uni) we were together somewhere around 20 months got married 5 or 6 years ago. That was really weird for me. I was living with my now FH at the time and we had already been together longer than ex and his wife – it was VERY weird for me knowing he was getting married, we had talked about marriage, I thought he was the one (in hindsight I know why he wasn’t and I’m so glad that relationship imploded the way it did).
There is one other past SO that I will feel weird about getting married. Again, not jealous, not sad, just WEIRD.