Weddingbee boards

I can kind of see where you're coming from because you're older and established...But I think anything over a carat is plenty big!! But that's just me...

I am in my late twenties and my stone is not big at all. I agree with what the others said--you can definitely up the bling with your wedding band (that's what I'm doing). And like other said, maybe your FI got you a really great quality diamond.

I understand how you feel. We got engaged and 21 and 24 and my e-ring is 2 carats, with the band being an additional 1/2 carat. I would be a little disappointed with anything less than 2 carats, so I can understand where you're coming from, espescially since you guys are a little older and more established. Did you have any say in picking out your ring? I made sure Mr. Rainbow was well aware of my tastes and the size that I prefered.

edit: I also prefer white gold over platinum. Can you post a pic of your ring?

I'm in my 40s.  So is FI.  We've been working a long time and are both professionals (I have several professional degrees).  I think I'd be scared to wear a ring that was worth 2-3 times my montly salary.  My center stone is under 1 carat.  FI wanted a higher quality ring and knew that that "magic" 1 carat mark would make the ring much more expensive.  He ended up spending more than he had budgeted.  We decided that there are some things that we wanted to spend more money on.  That being said, he wanted me to be happy with my ring.  Our choice of platinum was mutual (he wasn't happy with white gold and knows my skin can be acidic and reactive).

So what if the expectation is that a ring of an older bride should be bigger (yes, most people I know would have 1.5-2 carats).  But, they are often much lower quality.  I think it says a lot for the man you're marrying if he balances out the cost of the ring and other expenditures.  I'm glad I'm not marrying someone who "cares what the Jones' think" because I know in the long run, trying to keep up will cause financial stuggles.

Just think about the bigger picture - you're marrying the guy, not the ring. This is something he picked out especially for you, straight from his heart.

I think your ring sounds lovely!

This could be totally not true but I have heard that only about 10% of American women have an ering with a center stone over a karat.  Of course this is completely every couple's choice what size the ring is.  Different sizes work for different couples.  That is the beauty of it all... choice :)

I personally do not like platnium and I do not see it as a "status symbol".  So the metal is really your choice.

Your ring is Beautiful!!!!  And you are moving to the MidEast but if you plan on doing any traveling to other places, maybe such a huge rock is not the thing to have.

People will have their own opnion about this, but I think your diamond is plenty big. I think I would not want anything bigger than that actually. Also, FI bought my ring through a jeweler who is a close family friend of his parents, so genuine and honest. He told FI to not waste his money on platinum, quality white gold is just as nice.

My stone is smaller than yours, but is damn good quality. FI bought a smaller stone, but it's got great clarity and color. I can see the difference between my diamond and some of my friend's diamonds.

Guess, what I am trying to say is forget about it. Your ring is gorgeous! :)

I see where you are coming from and can empathize, but the most important thing is to not mention this to your FI.  He will be very hurt.

We also live in a metro area.  Both he and I earn 6 figures - he is in his early 30s and I'm 28.  My FI bought me a ring very close in size to your center stone, but it was a signature ideal set in platinum.  The difference between white gold and platinum is very small.  You can't even tell the difference.  I have a 2 ct chanel set eternity band that I wear on my right hane (this is set in white gold) and as you know, chanel set shows a lot of metal.  When I am out and about, I like to wear that on my left hand occasionaly and pretend its my wedding ring.  Even with the two next to each other, I can't tell the difference.

Also, even with him buying a white gold band, yours with diamonds had to have been at least $1,000 for the setting and if he went for quality over sheer size (although you have a substantial size and this is coming from someone who has a grandmother who had a 6 ct center stone), the price of the diamond was well over $10,000.  Your ring (if he went for top quality) had to have cost close to $15,000 if he bought it at a store that isn't a name (Tiffany, Cartier, etc) such as Blue Nile.

I really do understand where you are coming from, but if you really were placing carat as the most important c, you should have told him and I hate to say this, but when you said "Surprise Me" as romantic as it may be, you will truly hurt his feelings if you start expressing disappointment in his selection, which I guarantee he spent hours and hours deciding, researching, and trying to figure out what YOU would want.

When I read these posts, usually I'm one to really flay the girl alive since they come off as so rude and inconsiderate, but I really do understand where you are coming from.  For now, one thing that will really make your ring pop is a good quality eternity band as a wedding ring. Or, even get two! 

Also, what size are your fingers?  I have 4.5 fingers, so my 1.4 ct looks really big on my hand.  Do you have fingers size 6.5 or larger?  That might also be part of the problem, where even though he really did get you a substantial diamond, it appears smaller since your fingers are larger. 

Anyway, I wouldn't mention this to him.  Perhaps you can say that you would really like two eternity bands to make the center stone pop, or talk about "upgrading" down the road, but if you bring up the fact that you are disappointed in the size (which is directly correlated to the price he spent/ saved up for), it will really hurt his feelings.

Best wishes to you!  By the way, you ring is beautiful!

EDIT:  One more idea - if you truly are disappointed, perhaps you could talk to him about resetting the diamond into a halo setting.  A halo setting makes any diamond look huge and with yours already being well over a carat, it would look gigantic!  That might be one way to approach it, but I wouldn't put down the actual size itself.