Post # 1
So I found out one of my BM’s pregnant. I don’t know if I should be freaking out or not. I haven’t had the chance to talk to my friend yet. I found out she’s pregnant through a good friend who talks to her a lot more than I get to. I’m just bracing myself for the conversation we will have. Even though I’m so happy for her I’m a little disapointed that I probably won’t get to have her in my wedding. None of the BMs have ordered thier dresses yet. I do remember my bridal boutique saying that some BM dresses can be ordered in maternity sizes. Has anyone gone through this before and what did you do? I’m guessing she’ll be 7mths a long when my wedding comes around.
Post # 3
I’m in the exact same situation. Although, she asked me if I would rather not have her since she will be bigger by then. I told her I absolutely wanted her as my bridesmaid if she was up to it.
Post # 4
one of BMs will have a 2 month old baby at the time of the wedding (so she is – very – pregnant now). When I found out, I just decided to scrap the whole matchy -matchy thing and focus on what was most important. I really wanted this person to stand up for me! So I decided that all the (4) BMs would choose their own black dress. Everyone, inlcuding the pregrant one, is thrilled. It would have been really tough to "guess" her size, because this is her third kid, and she has had very different experiences losing the weight with each one. Good luck to you!
Post # 5
From what I understand, the idea of excluding very pregnant women from the bridal party stems from the victorian era when pregnant women were hidden from society in general. Being visably pregnant announced to the world that you had been engaging in (GASP!!!) sex.
Other than discomfort the mother-to-be may have standing for a long ceremony, I don’t see any reason why a pregnant woman shouldn’t be in the bridal party, especially if it’s not within three to four weeks of her due date.
I researched maternity dresses for a friend of mine a few months ago and was horrified at the lack of nice ones. What I might suggest if you can swing it is offering for you maids to buy their own black dress within certain perameters. That way she could find a nice black maternity dress with out having to deal with the bridesmaid dress crap. Or… you can talk to a seamstress about altering the dress the other bridesmaids are wearing to fit your pregnant maid. And there are a few nice maternity dresses. You just might have to do more research than you were expecting. Good luck and don’t let this deprive you of having an important person in your bridal party!
Post # 6
Find out how your friend feels. Also there are some BEAUTIFUL maternity dresses out there an all sorts of colors. many bridesmaid dresses just do not translate to the pregnant body. I could not imagine not having either of my girls by my side because they were pregnant , but could also understand if they had no desire to be standing in heels for half and hour + . Is she traveling to your wedding? I could also understand not wanting to fly 7mths along. I’m sure you both just want each other to be happy , and she would never want to spoil your big day!
Post # 7
I too have a pregnant BM. I expected her to become pregnant sometime this year and I am beyond excited that she and her husband have been blessed in this way. She finds out today a more accurate due date, but the initial thought is that it is within 2 days of my wedding.
The most important thing to me is that my dear friend is able to attend my wedding if she can. I could care less about her dress or matching the others. The BM dresses are chocolate, she can just find a maternity dress that makes her comfortable. But I told her that if the date is within a month I would rather her just sit down and relax.
I would think that you asked your friend to be a BM b/c of your relationship and wanting her to share in an important day of your life. I would feel honored to celebrate something so important in hers
Post # 8
Thanks guys! Pregnant or not I would love to still have her in our wedding. I’m just worried about her comfort level of showing while walking down the aisle. But then again she’s the type that loves attention. Ha!
If she chooses to back out that’s totally fine with me. I won’t be looking for a replacement though. I’m fine with the bridal party being uneven so that’s not a problem. She does live out of state and I personally don’t want her flying driving or whatever in the state she’s in just to be in the wedding. I want her to be comfortable and do what she feels is best for her and the baby. I was thinking about getting her a BM gift still even if she backs out. I want to honor her as a good friend. She’s also part of the reason FI and I got together.
Post # 9
Of course everyone’s comfort level is different. But unless she has some kind of problem pregnancy, there’s no particular reason she shouldn’t travel at 7 months. My sister is generally in three different time zones every week for work, and she had planned to stop that (at the advice of her doctor) at 8 months. Since our Emma came 4 weeks early, she had actually been on both the east and west coasts the week before she was born! And there are fabulous and chic maternity clothes available. Nordstrom actually has a nice selection of very cute black cocktail and evening (maternity) dresses. Think Catherine Zeta Jones at the Oscars for Chicago.
Bonniebelle is right that the basic reason for excluding pregnant women from the wedding party is very Victorian. Although back in those days, your BMs were actually supposed to be "maids," in that they were unmarried. So of course you wouldn’t have had a pregnant BM, because you wouldn’t have had a married BM. Even in the relatively recent past, it was only okay for your MOH to be a married woman (as she could be the "matron" of honor). Thankfully we are a bit more progessive now.