(Closed) Expecting..

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’m in the exact same situation.  Although, she asked me if I would rather not have her since she will be bigger by then.  I told her I absolutely wanted her as my bridesmaid if she was up to it.

Post # 4
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

one of BMs will have a 2 month old baby at the time of the wedding (so she is – very – pregnant now).  When I found out, I just decided to scrap the whole matchy -matchy thing and focus on what was most important.  I really wanted this person to stand up for me!  So I decided that all the (4) BMs would choose their own black dress.  Everyone, inlcuding the pregrant one, is thrilled.  It would have been really tough to "guess" her size, because this is her third kid, and she has had very different experiences losing the weight with each one.  Good luck to you!

Post # 5
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

From what I understand, the idea of excluding very pregnant women from the bridal party stems from the victorian era when pregnant women were hidden from society in general. Being visably pregnant announced to the world that you had been engaging in (GASP!!!) sex.

Other than discomfort the mother-to-be may have standing for a long ceremony, I don’t see any reason why a pregnant woman shouldn’t be in the bridal party, especially if it’s not within three to four weeks of her due date.

I researched maternity dresses for a friend of mine a few months ago and was horrified at the lack of nice ones. What I might suggest if you can swing it is offering for you maids to buy their own black dress within certain perameters. That way she could find a nice black maternity dress with out having to deal with the bridesmaid dress crap. Or… you can talk to a seamstress about altering the dress the other bridesmaids are wearing to fit your pregnant maid. And there are a few nice maternity dresses. You just might have to do more research than you were expecting. Good luck and don’t let this deprive you of having an important person in your bridal party!

Post # 6
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Find out how your friend feels. Also there are some BEAUTIFUL maternity dresses out there an all sorts of colors. many bridesmaid dresses just do not translate to the pregnant body. I could not imagine not having either of my girls by my side because they were pregnant , but could also understand if they had no desire to be standing in heels for half and hour + . Is she traveling to your wedding? I could also understand not wanting to fly 7mths along. I’m sure you both just want each other to be happy , and she would never want to spoil your big day!

Post # 7
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I too have a pregnant BM.  I expected her to become pregnant sometime this year and I am beyond excited that she and her husband have been blessed in this way.  She finds out today a more accurate due date, but the initial thought is that it is within 2 days of my wedding. 

The most important thing to me is that my dear friend is able to attend my wedding if she can.  I could care less about her dress or matching the others.  The BM dresses are chocolate, she can just find a maternity dress that makes her comfortable.  But I told her that if the date is within a month I would rather her just sit down and relax. 

I would think that you asked your friend to be a BM b/c of your relationship and wanting her to share in an important day of your life.  I would feel honored to celebrate something so important in hers

Post # 9
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Of course everyone’s comfort level is different.  But unless she has some kind of problem pregnancy, there’s no particular reason she shouldn’t travel at 7 months.  My sister is generally in three different time zones every week for work, and she had planned to stop that (at the advice of her doctor) at 8 months.  Since our Emma came 4 weeks early, she had actually been on both the east and west coasts the week before she was born! And there are fabulous and chic maternity clothes available.  Nordstrom actually has a nice selection of very cute black cocktail and evening (maternity) dresses.  Think Catherine Zeta Jones at the Oscars for Chicago.

Bonniebelle is right that the basic reason for excluding pregnant women from the wedding party is very Victorian.  Although back in those days, your BMs were actually supposed to be "maids," in that they were unmarried.  So of course you wouldn’t have had a pregnant BM, because you wouldn’t have had a married BM.  Even in the relatively recent past, it was only okay for your MOH to be a married woman (as she could be the "matron" of honor).  Thankfully we are a bit more progessive now.

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