Post # 1
I was catching up with some girlfriends and the discussion, as it usually does, got to weddings.
One friend had recently attended a wedding where the bride had been very open about paying around 10k for her wedding dress. She hadn’t received a plus one for her long term boyfriend, nothing was hosted during the 2 hour gap at the venue, cash bar, buffet with a single side and entree choice, no additional desserts and plastic plates and cups and uncomfortable bench seating. My friend judged the bride for spending a disproportionately large amount of her overall budget on her dress and ‘cheaped out’ on her guests. She made the point that she wouldn’t have even noticed the cost of things at the wedding if the bride’s dress didn’t stand out (and if the bride hadn’t been vocal about the cost).
Some friends agreed with her and some felt that it is the bride’s money to spend and she can splurge and save however she sees fit.
What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
Normally I would say no, however, in this case you mentioned, then yes.
If the guests are treated decently, then it really doesn’t matter how much the dress costs, or what percentage of the budget it was.
But, if the dress is super spendy and the guests are paying for their own booze, then yes, I can’t help but judge that.
Post # 4
@nocleverbeepun: If you want to spend the majority of your budget on the gown, then elope and wear it. I mean, why bother to even have the event if you are going to show the guests a crappy time? The dress would have looked the same in elopement pictures.
Post # 5
@MrsSkeletonKey: Yeah, I think if you show people a fine time but nothing ‘special’ you can’t judge but my friend clearly had a not good time at the wedding.
Post # 6
@Bridey77: hadn’t thought of that. I would be curious to know if they were planning something smaller or an elopement.
Post # 7
I said other. In this case, I would judge, since $10K can go a LONG way towards food, drinks etc.
But if a wedding was in a backyard for $1000 I wouldn’t judge a bride for spending say $300 on a dress. Or if a wedding was $100K and the dress was $25K, I’d be envious but not judgey.
Post # 8
If the guests feel cheaped out on, and the bride is bragging about the dress cost then that’s tacky.
Post # 9
If the expensive dress was in lieu of properly hosting the guests, hell yes. If you expect me to pay for a cocktail to drink with my grocery store sandwich platter meal while you prance around in a designer dress, I will throw a lot of shade.
Post # 10
If I hosted properly (open bar (whether beer and wine only or full – or even dry, if I have sodas – NO CASH BARs), plenty of yummy food, good DJ/band…spend whatever you want on your dress! But if the bride is talking about how much her dress cost and skimped on thanking her guests, then she is a poor host and I’d judge. Of course I wouldn’t say anything (and she’ll end up on a forum later saying “I had a cash bar and no one minded!”) but then…once manners go out the window most people don’t find them later.
Post # 11
Yes I would judge. I’m sacrificing a lot to be able to put quality food on the table and provide alcohol for my guests. I’m cutting on expenses I would have liked the ”luxury” to afford, such as flowers or accessories for myself, to provide for them. As PPs said, if a dress is the only splurge in your budget but everything else takes care of your guests properly, then it’s not a problem. But if people are treated like garbage just for the sake of wearing an over-the-top expensive dress, and brag about it all evening, then yes, I’ll judge. I’d rather you eloped and had your selfish moment with your selfish self. 😉
Post # 12
Maybe she was saying the dress was more than it really was because she did have a low budget?
Either way, pretty tacky to brag about it IMO.
Post # 13
My dress cost 50% of the budget (it was a gift. The wedding cost 4k, and my dress was 2k!)
And I would TOTALLY judge the bride for that. I fed and provided booze and comfortable chairs for my guests. Having a wildly expenive dress? Awesome!
Having a wildly expensive dress at the cost of your loved one’s comfort? Awful.
Post # 14
Jeeze, Im not majorly a judgy person when it comes to what people spend on their dress…..but holy cow a $10,000 dress and your friend ate off disposable dishes? um excuse me?
My wedding is costing $24,000+ and I spent $635 on my dress, but im not going to go around at my wedding and tell people what I spent on my dress no matter how little or how much I spent….in fact I would NEVER let my guests know how much any part of the wedding is, thats just bad taste and makes people uncomfortable.
Post # 15
@nocleverbeepun: Usually i’d say its the brides choice to spend as she wishes but if there’s that much of a difference i’d find it strage.. personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable spending that much on a dress if I couldn’t also supply a descent reception for my guests!
$10K is a big chunk of money, so to spend that but use plastic plates to me is bizzare!
Post # 16
@eliseemma: She showed me a pic of the dress and it is around that price. I don’t want to name the designer because they are a popular designer here on the Bee and I don’t want to sound like I’m badmouthing them.