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This topic can get a little controversial on here, but we did choose to do a honeymoon registry through honeyfund. We also did a small Macy's registry for upgrades to kitchen things and appliances for those guests who don't like or understand the idea of a honeymoon registry. But our guests are loving it so far, as most of them know how much we love to travel and how excited we are for our honeymoon.
The advice I was given was to make the entries really interesting and specific...so rather than "hotel cost" or something generic, you would put a more exciting description of exactly what it is and why it's so special. We also only put "extras" on there, and have already booked and paid for all the main stuff ourselves (flights, hotels, transportation, etc.).
My biggest problem with HM registries is the percentage that's taken out as a transaction fee. As a guest, I'll write a check so 100% (not 93%) of my gift goes to the couple.
We did a honeymoon registry through Honeyfund and I have also given gifts through honeymoon registries.
Our honeymoon registry got bought out before all of our other registries and we got great feedback from our guests about it. We made our items specific. Like "couples massage" or "dinner for two in rome" or one night stay at luxury hotel in Santorini. When we wrote our thank you cards we made sure to mention the specific experience and how much we enjoyed it. We used honeyfund and there was no transaction fee. Some people wrote a check and some paid through pay-pal. Pay pal does take out 3% service charge, (they do that with any purchase you make through paypal).
When I see that a couple has a honeymoon registry I always try to gift through that isntead of a traditional registry.
atalante (message) May 19, 2012 Maryland
My biggest problem with HM registries is the percentage that's taken out as a transaction fee. As a guest, I'll write a check so 100% (not 93%) of my gift goes to the couple.
^^THIS! We are not doing a honeymoon registry mainly for this reason. I own a home and we already live together, so we don't really NEED anything, but we are going to do a traditional registry to upgrade some of our household items. Luckily for us, most of his family usually gives money as a gift, so why not get 100% of the money instead of a percentage of their gift going to some third party?
It's usually recommended not to do HM registries because it's like asking for cash and many people think it's rude. A lot of people also don't mind helping a couple start their new lives together, but they don't want to help fund the couple's vacation. However, since your family is suggesting it and if you don't think anyone else would be offended, then you could consider doing one. I will say though, that most, if not all, HM registries I've heard of are misleading. For one, when your guests purchase something, say a dinner or day at the spa, they aren't actually giving you a dinner or spa day. The company running the registry just cuts you one big check and it's up to you how you actually want to spend the money. The company also usually takes a cut of the money - something like 7-10%. So if your guest wanted to buy you a spa day for $100, you only get a check for $90. So it's really better for your guests just to write you a check.
If you can find a HM registry that doesn't charge a fee and actually gives you what your guests paid for and not just a big check at the end, then I think you can do it (but I don't know of anyway like this). If you can't find one, and if you really have everything you need, then I would suggest either doing a very small registry (maybe there are some upgrades you could use?) or no registry. And then when people ask about a registry, you just say that you have everything you need but are saving up for a honeymoon (spread by word-of-mouth). If I know that you're saving up for a honeymoon, I'll give you some cash for it. =)
However, please note that I'm in the camp that likes to give people experiences rather than a material good, and it's important to remember that not all people are like this. If you ever go to the Knot, everyone there will tell you HM registries are terrible, tacky, and rude. Just something to keep in mind. I hope I was at least somewhat helpful =/
Thanks everyone! These are all really good suggestions. I was worried that establishing a honeymoon registry could be perceived as tacky, but we're comfortable with the furnishings and housewares that we currently have. We also don't feel very comfortable with expecting our guests to give us those things anyway. Ideally, our first choice would be that our guests give to Oxfam, which is the only site we are currently registered with.
But talking about registries with some relatives over the holidays, they weren't as pleased and wished that we would do something more traditional. So we spent that time over the holidays talking it out with our relatives, and quite a few of them suggested a honeymoon registry. And amazingly, they don't find this tacky at all! I had also read about it in Peggy Post's wedding etiquette guide and was very surprised that it could be done, so long that it's tasteful. I thought it would be decent common ground to go that route, but I've never heard of anybody doing it before, so it's really new territory.
Like what some of you said, I do worry about the percentage rate and hope to select a reputable site that benefits not only our guests, but my fiance and I. So maybe if we pick the right honeymoon registry, it could be a win-win for all of us. :-)
A friend of mine used honeyfund rather then a registry as she and her partner already had all the items they wanted. She added a small note along the lines of "presents are not needed but if you would like to give a gift please go to [website here]". I wasn't offended by it, but I know its considered bad etiquette to even mention gifts (money, honey moon registry or otherwise) on a invite as it can appear like the couple is just asking for presents or money etc.I also know that it can also be considered rude to ask for money if someone asks if you do have a registry - so it can be very tricky.
I think it all comes down to your choice and knowing how the people you are inviting feel about it - as you said your family think its a good idea then hopefully that means no one will be offended if thats what you decide to do. I would personally play it safe and make a small registry of upgrade/replacements of items that are looking a bit worse for wear and simply give people the choice to give whatever type of gift (if any) they want.
@Sibiohan: We used a honeymoon registry, and our guests really liked it. I think it's because we travel a lot and we even had a travel-themed cake (it was tasteful, a globe with footprints to places we've been and then a miniature bride and groom sitting on top). I also hate the high fees that honeymoon registries seem to take, but I don't like the free Honeyfund designs with all the ads. I think our guests understood that we'd been living together for a while, so we really just needed help going on our hoenymoon.
I just found out about wanderable -- they do honeymoon registries too, except they have no ads in the free version. The design is pretty cute, too. They also use paypal bu have the option of giving it in person (cash or check). It seems like they actually mean "free" when they say they're free -- other than PayPal costs, I haven't seen any fees. Has anyone used them or had any experience with them?
we used depositagift.com and loved it. my issue with honeyfund, besides the ads, was the IOU format. we wanted our guests to be able to use a credit card like they would with a store registry. from my research, deposit a gift is the nicest one out there. yes there is a fee, but it's small, and IMHO it's worth it: still less than tax/shipping/gift wrap, nicest interface, includes a wedding website if you want it, room for pics and video, easy to setup b/c they have registries done for you by destination and you can also register for more than travel (we added furniture and date nights). plus they have the best customer service i've ever experienced.
@rainstar17: We used depositagift.com too and we LOVED it! So did our friends. We registered for all the stuff for our honeymoon like the flight, hotel, food, and other fun stuff. We also put on a few normal registry things like dishes and a mixer we needed (which some of our older guests appreciated). But in the end it was awesome because we just got the cash that we needed to have an incredible honeymoon! I highly recommend it. Nobody had any complaints about etiquette. They really loved that they could give us a totally amazing time.
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My fiance and I are having trouble with deciding on registries. Since we've both lived independently for quite a while, we feel that doing a traditional registry would be redundant for both of us. We have an Oxfam registry set up for our guests who would like to give to charity on our behalf, but at the same time we have people in our families suggesting that we set up a honeymoon registry, not only as an alternative for guests who would like to give us something, but as an alternative as gifts that my fiance and I could make the most out of. I'm not totally familiar with them, but since our families are on board with it, then maybe it could work for us.
Are there any Bees out there who has had experience with honemoon registries, either as a giver or as a recipient? Thanks for reading and all helpful feedback is welcome!