exs at a wedding… thoughts?

posted 2 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 2
Member
7781 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Well it’s whatever you guys are okay with but for us it’s HELLLLL NO.

Post # 3
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it depends on the ex. I wouldn’t rule someone out just cos they’re an ex. 

I had had a brief relationship with one of my dh’s groomsmen; they’d was another ex of mine there that I personally wouldn’t have invited, but he’s a mutual friend. And a long term serious ex of dh’s was invited but couldn’t make it.

Post # 4
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you want to and are OK with that, then invite them.

FWIW, the guy I dated before I dated DH was at our wedding.  We are friends, he knew DH before I met DH, it’s not weird or awkward and we all hang out all the time. 

Post # 5
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF

MrsBuesleBee:  Ditto that, yo. My FI and I agreed early on that all exes stay where we left them – in the past.

jesso4545:  If both you and your FI are happy with having his exes there, go for it. 

Post # 6
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2015

It’s whatever is most comfortable for the two of you! Friends are friends but at the same time, weddings tend to bring out the emotional side of people and I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with someone I or FI dated previously being there.

Post # 7
Member
4634 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It really depends on the situation. Neither of us are friends with any of our exes so we would’ve never considered inviting them..

There are enough people in this world, we don’t need to be friends with people we used to fuck.

Post # 8
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

I’m confused, are these his exes or yours? It sounds like they’re his and you’re friends with them. Is he okay with this? If he isn’t, I say no.

Post # 9
Member
2679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

jesso4545:  It really depends on the people involved, the seriousness and drama of the relationship and if everyone has moved on. I have noticed that some people refer to people whom they dated just a few times as exes. To me, this is not really an ex.

Post # 10
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

jesso4545:  Well, being that my ex and first love was a groomsman in OUR wedding, than I would say absolutely.  DH and him became best friends, since they are next door neighbors.  And since, my ex and I remained friends post – amicable break-up many MANY years ago, and I would still attend his parties, etc, I met my now DH thru him!!!

You are marrying the love of your life, and your exes are such for a reason.  I say, no biggie 🙂

Post # 11
Member
744 posts
Busy bee

jesso4545:  There’s no right or wrong here – it’s just about what you and your FI are comfortable with.  I do think both of you should have veto power when it comes to exes, but if you’re both fine with it, why not?

Post # 12
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Both of us had an ex at our wedding, both were brief relationships and turned into great friendships. One is single and one is married and has been my closest friend long before they were ever an ex. I don’t see anything wrong with it if everyone is fine and there are no latent feelings there. It’s your wedding, it’s all about inviting who you are close to regardless of past relationships that don’t matter anymore. 

If they were long term relationship exes, I probably would have more of an issue. To each their own.

Post # 13
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

Only if they’re mutual friends and you still regularly talk to them and both of you are okay with it. 

I dated one of my fiance’s best friends in high school. He’ll be there.

But i’m NOT inviting a more recent ex. (We share mutual friends and still see him occasionally at group gatherings, but WE would never invite him to our own things.) 

Post # 14
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

jesso4545:  personally, no. I dont want exes at the wedding. There is a reason they are an ex. Regardless if you are friendly with them. Leave them where they belong. In the past

Post # 15
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

MrsBuesleBee:  

+1 Every couple has their own boundaries around exes.

My husband and I believe that exes belong in the past. 

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