Ex's Baby Pictures- what do I do with them?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What should I do with the ex's pictures?
    Toss 'em and stop feeling guilty about it : (17 votes)
    9 %
    Contact him and offer to send them : (133 votes)
    68 %
    Contact his wife and offer to send them : (34 votes)
    17 %
    Do a dance and sing to the four winds before burning and burying them in ritualistic ceremony. : (7 votes)
    4 %
    Other : (5 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @MexiPino:  I would send a short message through Facebook letting the wife know you found some baby pictures and want to know if they want you to mail the pcitures to them.  A short message implies you aren’t trying to hook back up, you just want to make a business-type transaction (i.e. get these photos off your hands.)  I would feel bad about destroying old photos that are likely irresplaceable but I also wouldn’t want them to think you are trying to rekindle anything.

    Post # 4
    2527 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    i think in this case since there are pics of him with his late grandma, i would contact him and ask him if he wants them. they might have some sentimental value.

    Post # 5
    1287 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m the type of person that cherishes photos, no matter what. I’ve returned  photos to my xDh of him and the kids together, pictures of his family, him when he was a child.  I say return them. Pictures are a part of a persons past.  I think it would be kinda rude to trash them.  They were his, give them back.  Mail them if you have to.

    Post # 7
    1867 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I think a quick note to either of them would be perfectly fine – I think given that these are not copies of digital photos that it would be very kind of you to make sure he gets them back if he wants them.

    Post # 8
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MexiPino:  Mail them back to his parents. I woudn’t toss them.

    Post # 9
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @MexiPino:  If he wanted them or missed them, he would have asked you. I’d file them under G for garbage. You’ve both moved on with your lives and like you said…it’s been 18 years. That was sufficient time to ask.

    I always try to think how my FI would feel if I did x, y, or z. He wouldn’t like me reaching out to my ex for any reason (unless he owed me millions of dollars we could use) and so I would put that sentiment first and stick with the G file.

    ETA: essentially they’ve been in the garbage all this time anyway because you’ve had them, not him.


    Post # 10
    885 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    If you have his or his parents address, I would mail them to him with a note saying that you found them while getting ready to move and wanted to return them.  Otherwise contact him and ask for his address to send them along.

    Post # 11
    805 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    i wouldnt contact him IMO, yes pictures are important but 18 years?and he has a crazy wife? she might use that as some sort of ammunition.  yeah he may appreciate it but to me it sounds like you held on to them. if an ex from high school tried to contact me id be a little weirded out. but thats just me. i voted to toss them.

    Post # 13
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015


    Do you know any of his family members, or are you able to get in contact with them somehow?  That may be a good way to get them back in the right hands without opening a can of worms with the ex or his wife.

    For those saying it’s already garbage:  Maybe his family’s been looking for those pictures for years.  I know my family has many pictures that we just can’t track down.  If they ask why you still have them, you can just say it’s been at the bottom of a box all these years, and you found them while cleaning.


    Post # 14
    410 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @MexiPino:  Do you have his parent’s address? I’d send them there! 

    Post # 16
    4941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @MexiPino:  I would contact him directly versus his wife or parents. I’d find him on Facebook and say something along the lines of, 


    “Hi xx,


    I hope you and your family are doing well. I am in the process of moving and wound up coming across some old pictures of you that I thought you may want to have. Do you have an address you would like me to mail them to?”


    Short, sweet, to the point. I don’t think there’s a need to overthink an adult conversation. 🙂 You’ve both moved on, that’s pretty obvious. I doubt he’d think it was anything but exactly what you are sending the message about.  

    I actually think it’d be rude to toss them. Even though he hasn’t asked for the pictures, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want them. Maybe he thinks they were lost and never to be seen again? I would want one of my exes to let me know if they found sentimental photos of mine. 

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