Post # 1
Hey Bees, yes, I’ve went undercover for this post.
I just need to vent a little and maybe see if any of you can help me clarify this situation. I was in a relationship with my ex for 2.5 years. We broke up in 2009. He left me for another woman, and I have not had much contact with him since then. It was a heart-wrenching break up, and I truly thought I would never recover.
Since then though, everything has changed. I met an amazing man, whom I love with all my heart, and we just got married 4 months ago. I am so blessed!
Okay, so why am I writing this? Well my ex just randomly tried getting in touch with me on facebook. I opened the message and noticed his profile picture was a photo of him and his current girlfriend. (The same woman he left me for in 2009) They looked so happy and in-love in the photo.. and honestly for a split second, I felt crushed again. When I saw that photo – I felt like someone punched me in my chest.
I have not thought about my ex or anything in so long, so I guess I was just totally thrown off by my reaction at that moment.
Do you think this is normal? I swear I am so happy with my Darling Husband and I love him with all my heart! But why did I feel like my heart broke again for a second – when I saw their picture together?
Ugh ex’s – YOU SUCK.
Post # 3
I think its normal! Its my opinion that what you felt isn’t your current reaction; rather, his picture brought back the memory of the feeling. Good luck 🙂
Post # 4
@undercoverbee1: Of course it’s normal. He was a douche to you at the end of the relationship, and his picture reminds you of his douchiness. It hurts when someone doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and even if you’re over the person, you don’t want to be reminded of how it ended.
Post # 5
I actually just saw my Ex not too long ago. I thought he was with his mom and that she’d gotten a hair cut…turns out, it’s his new girlfriend. Eep.
Post # 6
@undercoverbee1: it’s normal.
I broke up with my first boyfriend almost 5 years ago, and seeing a picture of him still affects me. IT SUCKS!
Post # 7
Normal! He was a big part of your past. And although time has passed, if you once loved him, there will always be that spot in your heart.. and a bit of hurt when you see him with someone else…
Post # 8
@undercoverbee1: My ex left me for another woman, married her and then admitted that it was the worst mistake of his life. He still wants to get back together with me (and I’m not interested), so I guess your ex’s can give you a sort of high as well. Maybe yours is also trying to bring you back into his life? Maybe this time you’ll get the chance to give him the boot and settle scores once and for all?
Post # 9
I think its normal. I probably wouldn’t be his friend on FB either, but thats just me!
Post # 10
Thank you everyone! You all have made me feel so much better! And no worries, I am not friends with him on Facebook. We haven’t been friends on Facebook since the breakup. But I actually decided to block both him and his girlfriend completely today – after this happened. Now I will never have to see their picture again 🙂
Post # 11
It’s normal. Old wounds take a long, long time to close, even if you have a happy life to occupy yourself with.
I would just ignore his efforts to contact you.
Post # 12
It seems normal to me. I mean, getting broken up with sucks no matter what, but knowing you were left for someone else is an extra punch to the gut no one appreciates. On top of getting over him, you had to get over a serious blow to your pride. I am sure that your reaction now is more about your wounded pride than any lingering feelings for him. I would ignore his attempts at reaching out, and if you do check out his pictures, feel free to have a good laugh over his receding hairline or paunchy gut.
Post # 13
Yup, it’s normal. My ex is dating a girl that I used to be good friends with. She’s still on my FB, so I get to see pics of them all the time now. Super weird.
Post # 14
I think that everyone recovers from breakups different, and I don’t think you’ll ever know how you’ll react.
Post # 15
It’s normal. It was hard for me to see my ex with someone else at first, even though I was happily engaged, but then he moved in next door because he was dating my next door neighbor (technically used to be our next door neighbor). He got married to her after two months of dating (3 weeks after my wedding) and that was a huge shock for me, but now that everything is said and done, I’m okay with everything and am friendly to them both and am fine seeing them make out (they’re way into PDA) and be together. But I was pretty much forced to deal with it. When you haven’t had to, those feelings just stay in the background and resurface when you’re confronted with it again.
Just block him.
Post # 16
@strawbs: Agreed! I broke up with my ex (alcoholic and whatnot) a tad over 3 years ago and I’ve been with an amazing man for a little over a year….and it still affects me when I see something related to him or something (like seeing a family friend’s 3 year old girl this past weekend and realizing that she looks soooooooooo similar to my ex’s niece….and that it had been just over 3 years that I broke up with him….etc.) He was kind of a psycho and after 2 years of not talking to him he showed up at my house and whatnot….and then I felt like I was being stalked or something, had to block him on FB and whatnot. BUT YET I still go on to my sister’s once in a while just to see what he’s up to or if he has posted anything as to what he’s doing now……like if he got a new job, which he did close to my parents house which I moved from….so now he has no idea where I live and that’s sooooooo great because he can’t just show up unannounced. I hate gtting thoughts of him. I feel guilty then, even though I’d never leave what I have now to be with him EVER EVER EVER EVER! No way.