Extended mother and mother on law stays after baby comes

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

stay? like, in your house stay? i’d put my foot down at that. i love my mother, and my FMIL is wonderful. but never would i let them stay with me for a few months.

do they not live close to where you are? i know that when i was born, both grandmothers were at the house every single day all day. but neither stayed there. then again, they both lived within a 15-20 mintute drive.

Post # 4
Member
7265 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

My mom and sisters and DH’s dad will come visit for a week or two after our baby is born, but a month?! Yikes.

Edit: A FEW months?! Never…

Post # 5
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

No way.

I flat out told my mom and MIL not to come and stay. I wanted to have family time with me, DH and our DD. Bonding with her was very important to me. I didn’t need the help anyways..everything worked out well for me in that regard.

It may be ok for some people to have family stay for a little bit (but not months!) to help, but for me, it just would cause me more stress! I get really uncomfortable with people in my house, wanting to do my housework…lol

Post # 6
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Personally, I would never allow that.  Luckily both sets of parents are local so it won’t be an issue.

Post # 8
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lollypop:  A few months? No. It is YOUR house and YOUR choice. If you don’t want them staying with you then Just. Say. No. You don’t need to apologise. It is your house.

I think a week is the most I could handle; and not both at the same time. My sister-in-law stayed with me for a week. It was good to have the help, but a week was enough.

p.s. What do you mean by you “need” the help? Are you returning to work? Because if you want free babysitting that would change my answer. But I can’t think of any other reason why you would “need” them there. You’ll manage.

Post # 9
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

i don’t think sharing the rent on a two bedroom hotel or two bedroom house is a lot to ask. Personally I think its WAY too much to ask you and your husband to host 2 people at the same time for months! Is there anyway they could come one at a time?

Post # 10
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

@lollypop:  A good time for them to come and help is about 6 months after the birth. By then may be back to work, and even if you aren’t your spouse probably is. At that time you’ll be comfortable with some of the changes a new baby brings, and ready for a little break. You’ll be grateful to hand the kid over to someone else for the evening. I was. But a week maximum. Nobody wants guests that stay for a month, especially not new parents.

 

Post # 11
Member
3112 posts
Sugar bee

@lollypop:  I’m hoping my mom will be able to come stay for a week or two.  But definitely NOT a month.  And NOT my MIL!  Not that she’d want to.

Post # 12
Member
3014 posts
Sugar bee

@lollypop:  why don’t people understand what an imposition this is??? I would explain that you need some time to adjust to baby and can plan a short visit after he’s here. The other option is that they come for a SHORT visit but plan to stay in a hotel. 

Post # 13
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d ask them to come for a week and offer to pay for the hotel….

Post # 14
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

MONTHS? How about for a week or two! Then they can make/freeze dinners for you and DH for the next couple of weeks!

Post # 15
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh hell no. Maybe a night or two tops. Then they need to go about their lives and we will go about ours. We like our alone time.

Post # 16
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Agh no way could handle a few months.  My mom stayed a week after we got little boy home to help out with me getting a routine but I wouldn’t want a few months. 

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