Post # 1
So both my mother and mother in law want to stay for a few months after the baby is born- we will need the help but I also want time for just my husband and I to bond with the baby alone. Anyone have a similar situation? How did you handle it?
Post # 3
stay? like, in your house stay? i’d put my foot down at that. i love my mother, and my FMIL is wonderful. but never would i let them stay with me for a few months.
do they not live close to where you are? i know that when i was born, both grandmothers were at the house every single day all day. but neither stayed there. then again, they both lived within a 15-20 mintute drive.
Post # 4
My mom and sisters and DH’s dad will come visit for a week or two after our baby is born, but a month?! Yikes.
Edit: A FEW months?! Never…
Post # 5
I flat out told my mom and MIL not to come and stay. I wanted to have family time with me, DH and our DD. Bonding with her was very important to me. I didn’t need the help anyways..everything worked out well for me in that regard.
It may be ok for some people to have family stay for a little bit (but not months!) to help, but for me, it just would cause me more stress! I get really uncomfortable with people in my house, wanting to do my housework…lol
Post # 6
Personally, I would never allow that. Luckily both sets of parents are local so it won’t be an issue.
Post # 7
Lol, I know they both live in different states pretty far away- but I am really concerned they are both going overboard- I know they have good intentions but I cant figure out how to tell them that sounds like a bit much maybe a month max – I do feel like it would be rude to ask them to rent a house
Post # 8
@lollypop: A few months? No. It is YOUR house and YOUR choice. If you don’t want them staying with you then Just. Say. No. You don’t need to apologise. It is your house.
I think a week is the most I could handle; and not both at the same time. My sister-in-law stayed with me for a week. It was good to have the help, but a week was enough.
p.s. What do you mean by you “need” the help? Are you returning to work? Because if you want free babysitting that would change my answer. But I can’t think of any other reason why you would “need” them there. You’ll manage.
Post # 9
i don’t think sharing the rent on a two bedroom hotel or two bedroom house is a lot to ask. Personally I think its WAY too much to ask you and your husband to host 2 people at the same time for months! Is there anyway they could come one at a time?
Post # 10
@lollypop: A good time for them to come and help is about 6 months after the birth. By then may be back to work, and even if you aren’t your spouse probably is. At that time you’ll be comfortable with some of the changes a new baby brings, and ready for a little break. You’ll be grateful to hand the kid over to someone else for the evening. I was. But a week maximum. Nobody wants guests that stay for a month, especially not new parents.
Post # 11
@lollypop: I’m hoping my mom will be able to come stay for a week or two. But definitely NOT a month. And NOT my MIL! Not that she’d want to.
Post # 12
@lollypop: why don’t people understand what an imposition this is??? I would explain that you need some time to adjust to baby and can plan a short visit after he’s here. The other option is that they come for a SHORT visit but plan to stay in a hotel.
Post # 13
I’d ask them to come for a week and offer to pay for the hotel….
Post # 14
MONTHS? How about for a week or two! Then they can make/freeze dinners for you and DH for the next couple of weeks!
Post # 15
Oh hell no. Maybe a night or two tops. Then they need to go about their lives and we will go about ours. We like our alone time.
Post # 16
Agh no way could handle a few months. My mom stayed a week after we got little boy home to help out with me getting a routine but I wouldn’t want a few months.