Extra work vs. more time with my baby. Advice needed.

posted 1 week ago in Career
Post # 2
4036 posts
Honey bee

How old is your daughter?

Most of my friends spent more time with their toddlers than with their teenagers. I’ve found the opposite is important. Babies and toddlers sleep a lot of the time we are away. Teenagers have a load of activities and can find ways to occupy their time while we’re at work that we may not appreciate. If you can bank the money, experience and contacts now so that you may work less later it may work out better for you in the long run. 

Post # 4
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Would it be possible to find a full time position working with the babies and moms? I think work life balance is so important . Maybe take the new one,  but give yourself a timeframe for reducing hours at the full-time role,  like give it 3 months.  That way you know it’s temporary. It might be a risk,  but you need to take care of yourself and your family and make sure you don’t get too stressed.  Don’t forget to take time for selfcare and one on one time with the hubby. You can do it!

Post # 6
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Fifty years from now when you’re looking back, which decision do you think your future self would be more content with?

Post # 7
258 posts
Helper bee

Ugh I can see your dilemma. It sounds like you’re a nurse? How long do you have before it would become really difficult to go back to working with babies and families? Could you possibly wait two years until your daughter is in school to take on extra work? 

If that’s not an option, honestly I would take the job. It’s only two days a month. That’s really not that much. Especially since you can work full-time in a 3 day period at your regular job. And holidays don’t have to be celebrated on the actual day. You can still have special holiday traditions and family time, even if it’s a few days early or late. Really, you just have to ask yourself what you would regret more. There’s no wrong answer. 

Post # 8
2602 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

burntorangeskies :  I’m a little confused by your post.  I am assuming this per diem position in maternal-child health is a staffing position, right?  And right now you’re doing 3 – 12 hour shifts that are not staffing?  My husband works in healthcare so I’m somewhat familiar with staffing, but is your current position a management type and that’s why you’re making so much money?  Are you trying to get back into maternal-child health full time and leave your current position all together?

Maybe I’m assuming too much, but it sounds like you don’t financially need this per diem position, it just happens to be in an area that you like.  You said you cannot go down to a staffing position because you’d lose too much money.  But what if you took the per diem position and were able to get more hours out of it?  That way you keep your per diem rate.  It may take a while but it sounds like you may eventually get to a point where you’re only working in that area.  At my husband’s hospital, they’re screwing a lot of the part time employees by making positions either full time only or per diem, and some of the per diem people work nearly full time hours.

I have also heard of women working more while their children are little and then cutting back when they’re teenagers.  I had a coworker work full time until her oldest started 7th grade, then cut back so she could be home more during the “danger hours” (after school and before dinner) and now she works contract (basically setting her own hours) now that her kids are in school.  She makes a higher rate working contract but less hours.  It’s worked very well for her.  

I think you need to think about whether it’s easier to work more now or later.  In some ways I would think it is easier when kids are little because once they get into activities it can be really hard to get them too and from them.

Post # 11
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

burntorangeskies :  My daughter is 1.5.

Going only on the facts you’ve presented I would not accept the job personally. 

Im also currently working in a position I don’t love to spend more time with my LO and plan on working towards my career goals when she gets a little older. We weighed the pros and cons and that’s what made the most sense for our family right now. 


Post # 12
3782 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I personally would vote for moving back toward the field you love now so that down the line (how far down the line, I’m wondering?), you could have a bit more balance and time with your family. Based on how you described your love for the role, it’s not just a question of extra work. It’s a question of a period of time working harder so that you can do what you love versus time with your daughter. I’m a big fan of planning for what you want in the future. 

If you thought this opportunity might come back around and you’d be considered for it in 3-5 years, I’d say do that. But if it’s a matter of now or you never work in a place you love again, I think the answer is clear.

Would there be any possibility of your husband cutting back from 6 days a week at his job?

Post # 13
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

TwilightRarity :  +1.

in my career I can easily move up in a couple years when it’s more convenient for our family. If that’s not an option I would think it would make the most sense to start the change now. But like PP said, if the opportunity were to arise again in a couple years I would stick to your current role and revisit then. 

Post # 15
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

You miss working with babies and families hut taking it would mean you miss out on your child and your family. You don’t need the extra money and don’t intend on switching to that job full time at any rate.


My answer would be a hard no.

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors