Post # 1
After this weekend, I am reminded why I didn’t want a big wedding (or a wedding reception at all for that matter!).
I have been having A LOT of trouble with my grandma’s aunts. Quick background to problem:
My stepdad’s (who raised me and whom I consider to be my dad) family was very against him marrying my mom a million years ago. Consequently, a lot of that side of the family has never warmed to me and my sister. My step dad was in the army so we moved a lot and didn’t really have to see them that much. Plus, my dad’s family is HUGE…so I never really got to know who everyone was. Also, none of that side of the family like me in particular because I always kept to myself and didn’t do things in a very traditional manner (I went away to college and law school, didn’t get married until now, even though I’m in my late 20’s).
SOOOOO….why are my grandma’s sisters giving me such grief about this wedding??!! They don’t even KNOW MY NAME, yet are hassling me about invitations and why aren’t their children invited to the wedding (I don’t even KNOW them!). And they keep going out of their way to make me feel bad about invitiations, etc. They came to my bridal shower this weekend and a) they didn’t remember my name, (they kept calling me my mom’s name or something similar to my name but not the same name), b)one of my aunt’s didn’t even realize that I was her niece! She thought my fiance was her nephew. She introduced herself as my future aunt. THEY DEMAND INVITATIONS, ACT HUFFY WHEN INVITATIONS ARE NOT “ON TIME” AND THEY DO NOT EVEN KNOW THAT I AM IN THEIR FAMILY!!!!
They are constantly making snotty remarks about not being “VIP” like all the others who get to be in the wedding party, and making comments about how none of their kids are being invited to my wedding. Ugh, we are already struggling to keep our guest list under 200…but they just keep inviting people to the wedding without even ASKING me!!!!!
And then on top of it all, one of my aunt’s keeps “stealing” all my vendors and ideas for her daughters wedding which is coming up soon. Ummm…by the way, why haven’t I received an invite to HER DAUGHTER’S wedding??? Not that I would/want to go at this point, but how dare they demand things of me and then have the audacity to not even invite me to their wedding after “borrowing” all my vendors, etc. Ugh. Sorry, just needed to vent.
Post # 3
Girl, I know all too well how you feel right now. I actually just googled “inviting someone you don’t want to a wedding” because I am so stressed out right now. That’s how I came across your post lol. Honestly, I say screw it! Don’t invite anyone you don’t want to invite! It’s your day and it only happens ONCE! It’s supposed to be perfect. I am in the middle of a big huge ordeal involving my future brother in law and his CRAZY,PSYCHO girlfriend. The day after Christmas we were on our way up to visit them, and to make a long story short, my future mother in law called the girlfriend’s phone asking to talk to her son (his phone was broken at the time), and the girl freaked out, told her to “[email protected]#$ off and stay the [email protected]#$ out of their lives and to never call her again!” Umm…what??!!? My future in laws are the nicest people EVER and it baffled me that she would speak to them that way…and for no reason, at that! Needless to say we did not stop by and see them, and still haven’t since. I figured that her son would call and apologize for how his gf acted, but instead, he insisted an apology for how we spoke to her and said he wanted nothing to do with the family and was not coming to the wedding until they both received an apology….wtf?!!??! Am I in the twilight zone???? I am SO confused and angry. Now the worst part is, my future in laws miss hearing from their son, so they just went ahead and aplogized to him and his girl (even though they had no reason to) well, that still wasn’t good enough. He won’t talk to anyone until my fiance aplogizes to them, as well. Well, my man is a Marine, he is a tough guy, NOT the kind of guy to back down. And I DO NOT blame him. We have nothing to apologize for!!! Well now his parents just want me and my fiance to apologize and send them an invitation to the wedding or it will “break their heart” if their other son isn’t there for our wedding. Why is that my problem? If he was a real man, he’d tell his girlfriend to never speak to his family that way and come to our wedding alone! I am SO FRUSTRATED because I hear about this EVERYDAY. “Did you send *girl* an invite to the bridal shower?” “Did you send them their invite to the wedding yet?” “Why won’t you just apologize and end this?” “There are some things in life we don’t want to do, but we just have to do them.” I love my in laws so I feel like I am stuck in such an awkward position. I DO NOT WANT THIS PSYCHO GIRL AT MY WEDDING RUINING MY DAY! And I can assure you she would. She is nuts. I don’t even have anything to do with this! I never spoke a word to him or his girlfriend yet I feel that the whole situation has now been turned around on me and my fiance, and that we are the “bad” people for not wanting them at our wedding!
Post # 4
@btownse6: Yikes!! That is truly and unfortunate situation. I am so sorry that your FI is being put in such a difficult situation and that his brother is being so difficult. But worse than that, I’m sorry that this woman is being so CRAZY!!
What is it about weddings that bring out the worst in people??
Post # 5
If you don’t know these people and vice versa, does it really make a difference to you if they’re not there?
If they demand you for an invitation tell them that you are keeping the wedding small and are only inviting close friends and immediate family. They don’t need to know if you plan to do otherwise.
These people are stressing you out and making you miserable. You do not need to invite them. IMO, they will only continue to stir the pot and create drama. Forget them, they are not your family… family treats one another with respect and love.
Post # 6
Thanks for everyone’s advice. The reason I do care is because of my grandmother. It matters a lot to her anda consequently to my dad as well. They are invited and will come. I know it’s our wedding, but I care about my family and how they feel about things as well. Mostly I just needed to vent. Thank you all for listening.
Post # 7
This is why I’m keeping my guestlist to the bare minimum. Parents, Siblings (and their SO’s and children), Immediate aunts, uncles, and cousins. And our friends… Other wise If we invite one extended family member we gotta invite them all :/
Post # 8
Why do weddings turn people into psychopaths? Geeze.
Post # 9
@ViaMinorViator: I know! I just don’t get it.
@FutureMrsMenjivar: I wish we had stuck with this! It was our initial intention to have it this way! Things have gotten out of hand unfortunately.
Post # 10
Sorry, OP. I know just how you feel. I’ve got a good chunk of people coming to my wedding that I don’t want there.
My dad has insisted (demanded) that his sister be invited, and I have nothing to do with her because she is a drama queen. In turn, my aunt will demand that her boyfriend and psychopath daughter come with her. Then, I’m sure she’ll want one or two of my great-aunts to come. It’s just out of control and I want to lie to all of them and say the wedding is cancelled.
Post # 11
@Pinksapphire: Is your dad paying? Because even if he is, if you don’t want them there I would say no. Or if they come I would be a witch and seat them in the back hehe