Weddingbee boards

We decided time ago that we wanted custom invitations. We hired a lady in December, supposedly a "famous" one (ie featured in several bridal magazines, that is).

The first online proof was very good. We gave her feedback on stuff we wanted to change. She phoned us and then said she would give us a second online proof in "a week". It took 5 weeks, and it looked like she hadn't paid much attention. I was mad but decided to play cool... so I take my time and I give her feedback. She obviously doesn't like the feedback. I took my time and I reply.

At this point, I found out (from her blog) that she made the same exact painted design (except for the paisley border) to another bride to be who is going to get married in August 2010.

Where is the problem? Well, my wedding is on Jan 2011 and I wanted an *exclusive* design. I knew only too well that "my" design would have become part of her portfolio but - hopefully - AFTER I had used it.

So I tell her and she get all p*ssy. At this point I take a brake, let her know I need to think about it and I will write more when I took a decision.

After some time I write to her and she doesn't even reply.

Aside from being incredibly p*ssed with such "professional" (and a well known one!!!) behavior, I don't know what to do next, given that I've already paid her some money.

What suggestion do you have for me?

@noritake22: I understand that I didn't pay for an exclusive. What I mean is something *slightly* different... I mean, when people pay for a custom design, what are they paying for? That is, the design fee is for what exactly? I think people pay to have that new design FIRST.

In my profession (I'm a designer as well, just not a graphic one) when a client pays for a custom design, it's CUSTOMIZED to that person's needs, and that person is the first one to get it. I don't push my custom portfolio on my new clients... I might use pieces and bits of it for clients with similar needs... I certainly don't carbon copy something I've already done for another client because 1) it was paid for by the previous client and 2) I don't cheat calling an old design new.

I wasn't b*tching about contractual obligations, I was b*tching about ethical ones. Whether it's a part of a contract or not, it's MASSIVELY unethical to carbon copy a design *I* paid for and give it to another person, doubledipping (ie having that other person paying for an "exclusive" design as well).

My only uncertainty is this... do I have to try not to lose the money I've already paid or do I risk feeding an unethical person and her despicable behaviors? I don't know whether to do the right thing (sending her to get a hike and loose money) or try not to lose my money.

@ MrsDonnelly: I do have a contract and the money was a designer fee.

@clarebee, you asked "Honestly having your own *exclusive* design for invitations sounds like something a Hollywood starlette would want and do you really think that 10 years down the line that is really going to matter?"

I see nothing necessarily bad in Hollywood starlettes or in doing something that 10 years down the line isn't going to matter. When I put my make-up on every day, and I get dressed to a T, it won't matter in 10 yrs but it's not a good excuse to run around naked, or sloppy in my book.

When I started planning I decided that I didn't want an El Cheapo ceremony and reception or else I would just elope (and save money and chagrins). I do (and have always done) the same thing even when it comes to birthday parties, Christmas dinner, Thanksgiving meals... it's either done in every little detail or I don't have a party.

I simply want the best value out of my money. Just because I chose to afford 1,000 USD for my invitations it does NOT mean I'm willing to set for any invitation. And, just to clarify, just because I am going to spend 1,000 in invitations it doesn't mean I'm going to spend as much (or more) in flowers. Just because I'm a beautiful woman with some money to spend it doesn't mean I'm a bimbo and one can sell me junk and charge as if it were gold.

I want a unique wedding, yes. So what? And I'm willing to pay premium prices for any vendor who deserves them, so what? But I won't pay premium prices for a design that somebody else is going to get ahead of me, and I also decide not to feed sleazy vendors who can't behave in an ethical way regardless of fine prints.

Gionnetto- I sounds like you've made your decision already. You don't want to work with someone who is unethical and sleazy and clearly this is the behavior she is portraying. Either try to get your money back or since it seems you can afford it just take the loss and find someone else who can provide you with what it is you are seeking. Perhaps get it into a contract with the next vendor what you expect so you don't have any surprises. Depending on the number of invitations, spending $1,000 isn't that much so perhaps she isn't high end enough for you and you should seek a more "exclusive" designer. Good luck on that one!

I TOTALLY understand your wish to have what you paid for.  Having someone accuse you of acting like a "Hollywood Starlet" is essentially accusing you of being a brat and that's not fair.  You want unique and one of a kind invitations, so you should have them!  I am of the same thought and I am a designer as well so I designed my own.  It's a lot more work lol, but fun and worth it in my opinion.  If you're a designer maybe take on the task yourself?  I fully enjoyed it!  This "famous" designer you hired clearly has had her ego inflated a bit, so put her behind you and do what feels best for you.  I hope you get it worked out :)