(Closed) Eye surgery….selfish?

posted 6 years ago in Money
  • poll: Should I get the surgery? Or wait until after the wedding
    Get it! Its worth it to not have to worry : (34 votes)
    74 %
    Wait for the surgery : (12 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    You have a year before the wedding.  If you can make the payment and not sacrifice anything that’s important to FI for the wedding, then I would go for it!  I wish FI would get LASIK, but he doesn’t want to spend the money right now.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    7293 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I realize the plight of your FI , being stressed about money etc. But to me this isn’t like super cosmetic elective surgery. Sight is very important and it seems like your eyes are suffering with allergies, dryness etc.

    I would look more into the medical care card/interest rates etc and talk it over again with your FI!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2750 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My FI told me he would make sure that I had my lasik done before we got married and have kids because I said to him once that I never want my kids to see mommy with glasses.

    FI was the one who worked hard to save up for me to do it. It cost about $4k.  I am telling you that it is the BEST MONEY EVER SPENT.

    I was -8.75 and told by the doctors that I was one point away from being legally blind. They said despite my laser eye surgery I would NEVER have 20/20 vision.

    I ended up getting a great surgeon who has a more aggressive approach. 

    I now, despite the odds, have 20/20 vision.

     =)

    I say, GO FOR IT!!! Many laser eye places now offer financing if your FI is worried about that~

    Post # 6
    Member
    1353 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I would go for it! If you can pay it off within the year without paying interest why not?! My parents have both had it done and they loved it… I want to get it done but I can’t stand the thought of them peeling back part of my eyeball!! Ahhhh!!!!

    Post # 8
    Member
    3261 posts
    Sugar bee

    I have -3.75, too so I know how awful it feels to not be able to see without the lenses. But it seems like your FI is a bit wry of the cost, and I guess from your post he’s the one who will be paying for it. 

    Also, your allergies are pretty bad and you’re using contacts you throw away once a month. No matter how clean you are before inserting/taking them out and the solution you use, contacts can still develop severe bacteria in your eyes from such prolonged use. I know, because it happened to me. I ended up in the hospital with blinding migraines due to the scabbing on the inside of my eyelids caused by bacteria. It was from my contacts that I threw away every 2 weeks (which I kept extremely clean). I ended up switching to 1-day Acuvue contacts. It was a really great desicion for me, my allergies disappeared right away. They cost about $530 annually. 

    So I guess if you were able to pay for it yourself, for me it would be a simple answer (I’d do it right away!) but if you’re not, its something you’d might want to reconsider since there could be possible alternatives for you. Either way, good luck!

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I used to wear contacts and I hated it. I didn’t even have all the issues that you have so I can’t imagine how inconvenient it is for you! I got LASIK a little over a year ago and I love it. It’s definitely the best thing I ever bought for myself.

    HOWEVER, I saved up for my LASIK and paid for it in full the day I got it done. Because of this, I actually got a better rate than those who had a payment plan. Anyways, I never live beyond my means and always buy what I can actually pay for in full. 

    I understand your fears of an eye problem on your wedding, but I would only get this expensive surgery if you have the money in hand. Charging and making payments on a huge expense does not make sense when you’re saving for your wedding. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Just curious, but do you always wear your contacts to bed? I know that I have really bad allergies (no goop or anything, but really dry and itchy eyes) and I absolutely can’t wear my contacts for more one day without taking them out. Have you tried taking them out everyday or even just wearing the one day contacts? I absolutely want to get lasik surgery at one point in my life, but I can understand your FI’s concerns about getting it done right now before the wedding when you have so many other costs to pay.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1654 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I guess I am looking at this the other way around than your FI is…I don’t know that it makes sense to prioritize the wedding over something that, in my opinion, is basically health-related.  Not that it’s necessary, since you can get by with glasses and contacts – but it seems like it would make your life easier in general and in the long run, especially considering your allergies and the resulting trouble you have to go through with your contacts.  People I know who have had lasik can’t imagine not having had it.  And I assume your wedding is not the ONLY reason you want lasik – I would guess you have considered this before, yes?

    If you were suffering financially or saving up for something that would make sense to prioritize over your eyesight, then I would understand your FI’s position.  But if you are financially in a position to pay for lasik, and and all it means is that it will cut a few thousand dollars out of your wedding budget, then I don’t think I would prioritize the wedding over the lasik (but that’s just my perspective).  Then again, I don’t know what your wedding budget is, either.  If your budget is $5K or something then I can see how paying for the lasik could have a crippling impact on the wedding budget, which you don’t want either.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6473 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

    The money I spent on my laser eye surgery is the best I ever spent. Yes, it cost me a fortune at the time (back in 2006) but my eyes are so much healthier now. Less time spent wearing contacts, less money spent replacing frames. Definitely a good investment.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    I am in the same boat as you, I totally want to get Lasik before my wedding!  However make sure you are looking at it from a realistic financial perspective.  It sounds like you’re relying on your FI to pay off the surgery.  Are you employed?  Would you be able to pay it off yourself, or contribute?  It makes sense that he would be wary of paying for both the surgery and the wedding if the burden is all on him.  And like another poster said, it depends on what your wedding budget is, and if the surgery would eat in to that.  It’s great that your credit is good, but it all depends on whether or not you can realistically pay for it, your wedding expenses, and anything else that might pop up between.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think I have to agree with @GreenGables:. Anything health related is 100% more important than a wedding, IMO.  I would probaby ask your FI to reverse the situation, think about it from your perspective and see how he would feel after that.  Your wedding is a year away, and with the technology for Lasik improving even in the last few years, I wouldn’t worry about any risks.  DH got the “older” surgery done back in ’07 so it was more painful, invasive and recovery was longer, but he doesn’t regret it at all and his eyesight is still great.  

    In short, I say go for it!

    Post # 15
    Member
    2809 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I just has laser surgery (LASEK…. A little different but same concept) in March and I was a -10.50 in each eye.

    It was the single best thing I have ever done for myself. I have 20/20 vision and I would absolutely recommend it to anyone who is considering having it done. It was a piece of cake even for a Mrs. Magoo like I was 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I actually had LASIK last month (a month after being proposed to) and my wedding is in a year.  I really hated wearing glasses and didn’t want them on my wedding day.  I did get the medical card as well and plan to pay off for the no interest within a year.  It will not lead to me sacrificing anything and it was completely worth it (even if I did have to sacrifice a few things, it’d still be worth it) because I now have 15/20 vision!  Go for it! If you end up wearing them on your wedding day and hating it, you’ll regret it.  

    I’d recommend having them done at least 3 months before your wedding and NOT during allergy season because you don’t want anything to get into them while they’re healing.  

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