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How do you feel about facebook and ex's?
My So & I both have ex's on our facebook. Mine are super old ones though so I guess I feel it's not a biggy. he has his ex-w & some women he recently had a date with or was dating just before me. I've never said a word but secretly I am a little uncomfortable with it. (he did remove his most resent long term GF but she was crazy!! & emailed me weird stuff)
How would you feel?
Would you remove them if your So was uncomfortable with it or should they just trust you and keep quiet?
I don't care about ex's - period.
I don't care if they are on Facebook friends. I don't care if there are old pictures and such. I don't care if they still talk.
They are ex's for a reason and DH chose me.
I have a few exes on mine, but i have only ones that we are on good terms, and NONE that were super serious- things didnt work out for a reason yadda..and they know my current situation....my FI is not concerned as he sees all that is said.which isnt much. I do feel however if you have some sort of uncomfortableness about it- you should bring that to his attention.....FB or not,
We aren't friends with our ex's on facebook, because we arent friends anymore. Im not interested in what theyre doing and my fiance feels the same way. His ex did friend him, but he declined it.
Maybe it's just my experience, but facebook is mostly ridiculous anyways so FI is rarely on it (does have exes on it, though) but I don't really worry about him because he hates facebook. But I feel like as long as they are not buddy, buddy it's okay. I have more serious ex-boyfriends that I'm still "facebook friends" with. I'm curious to see how they are doing (because we were so close at one point in time and I'm the type of person that is always hoping they are doing well), but other viewing the occasional photos that are posted, I don't do much either.
So, I guess to clarify, it depends on what is going on on facebook.
Either way, girl, YOU have him, not them!
I am facebook friends with an ex boyfriend that was a long term relationship and I am also facebook friends with a guy I dated casually. In my old facebook albums there are group shots that have me and my ex. I dont think it matters, in my case my exes have moved on and are with other people and I have moved on too. we are good friends now so I dont see why I cant be friends with them on facebook. DH on the other hand is barely ever on facebook he has one ex on facebook but no pics and she used to write on his wall once every year or so but now doesnt.
Don't care at all. One of his high school gfs just had the cutest baby. I'm fb friends with an ex I was really serious with.
doesnt bother me - we both have ex's on facebook but its not like either of us talk to them. If anything im glad they can see how happy we are :)
It doesn't bug me. I know it sounds self-centered, but my FI has said his exes don't even compare to me and he doesn't really care about them anymore. I am still friends with my exes on FB because we didn't have bad breakups and still like to keep up with each other (as we were friends for a long time before dating).
I unfriended my ex (my only other "serious" relationship apart from SO) not because of the ex aspect but because he was/still is (according to gossip) a cheating SOB and I don't need someone like that as a "friend". Sadly thou I did get a little sick satisfaction out of the fact that he would be completely aware of my new happily engaged status as his cousin is my best mate and my MOH and she had it written up on her wall... It was only recently while discussing another friend's mixed up ex situation that SO and I discussed whether or not our exes knew we were engaged that I even realised that he actually would thru my MOH (sad I know like I said thou I want him to realise what he stuffed up, thou PS I am so glad he did now cos SO is a much better guy and the perfect guy for me awwwwww!) SO's only serious ex is friends on FB with him and she sent her congrats pretty much straight away, no feelings there she is married now with a kid on the way :)
I have all of my ex's on FB, 2 of which I'm still friendly with as we all hang out with the same group of people, but I don't make contact with them one on one and vice versa. FI doesn't have any of his as he's been able to cut off all contact with all of them, except 1, but thats just in passing as well.
If FI felt bothered by any of it, I wouldn't hesitate to take them off and I'm positive he would do the same. But we've already had these conversations and everything is cool! My 2 ex's and that one of his are all coming to the wedding, actually.
@Mrs. Fireworks: I think that is amazing that he makes you feel that way! Good for you!
Doesn't bother me much either. my SO tells me I am the best relationship he has ever had too.
I do have an ex FI on mine who after 20 years still emails me sometimes and says I was the one for him and he still wishes things were different.
Just goes to show sometimes where there was fire ashes remain.
If your ex still had feelings for you would you leave him on or take him off out of respect for your SO?
I am friends with my ex and his wife on FB, and FI is friends with a few of his exes. Doesn't bother me at all. There's a reason why they broke up and there's a reason why he is marrying me and not them.
My fiance and I are not FB friends with any of our ex's. It wasn't something we really discussed. He just told me one day that he deleted them because he didnt see the point of having them on there. My ex and I were never FB friends to begin with.
My husband ended up de-friending his ex and all of her friends because they were cruel and immature and were trying to insert drama into our otherwise drama-free relationship.
We have a flat-out no ex's on FB policy and I'm fine with it. There is no reason why we need to be friends with ex's who are not in our lives anymore. It only opens the door for temptation or something bad happening like the ex coming back and trying to break us up.
We're not friends with exes. There is a reason that we all broke up, it's time to move on.
The idea of facebook and being 'friends' on facebook is so superficial and meaningless that it doesnt matter to me.
Neither of us cares. We're not still hung up on our exes and have no reason to be jealous, so why not? It's only Facebook.
Agreed with pp that Facebook "friends" are beyond superficial. On the other hand, I don't want his exes fb stalking our pictures and such.. they are exes for a reason. Same applies to me. There are a few exceptions because they either a) dated centuries ago and it doesn't even matter, or b) weren't serious and remained friends. I have a few flings on my friends list and he has a few girls he took out once or twice. I don't care about those. Also, like a pp stated, none of his relationships with those girls could hold a candle to ours and vice versa! :)
I got rid of my FB too much family drama (in-lawss) and high school type BS. Plus I personally really don't care that a girl I lived across the hall from me freshman year went to Target and Olive Garden today or that my husband's cousin doesn't like her co-workers sweater. It all seems juvenile and pointless to me.
Well... DH has only one "ex" and they dated for all of 2 entire weeks... sooo... I really don't care. ;-) They never talk and he never really was all that into her. He just dated her because he thought he should back when he was 16.
I had an ex on facebook and deleted him, but DH never asked me to do so. I doubt he even knew we were friends and wouldn't have cared either way. I didn't want him on my friends list because, well, we're not friends anymore. I'm very against the "have a million friends on facebook" thing. I am only friends with people I am ACTUALLY friends with.
Neither one of us have ex's on our facebook and that works for us. They are no longer relevant to either one of our lives.
I don't see a big deal in having ex boyfriends or him having ex girlfriends on our FB. I have probably 10 ex boyfriends on my friends list (some of them are from grade school and some are from just before FI and I got together.) I know he has a few ex girlfriends on his as well but his are mostly from more than 10 years ago because the recent exes of his are not on good terms with him. I think it is harmless unless someone starts to talk crap or stir up trouble...but that can happen with anyone, not just an ex.
We have exes on our FB, no biggie. We've been dating nearly 7 years, so I'm not too threatened by an old high school girlfriend. Besides, I've met his ex, and she's actually very nice, and we converse on FB here and there.
I have some on mine but only ones where we are friends and there is no drama.. I don't care if FI does the same thing. We've been together for 5+ years so I don't have anything to worry about. They are long in the past.
one of FI exs just sent me a friend reqest the other day. they are friendly but they do not talk much, if ever, just the occasional "happy What ever holiday it happens to be" and What is going on.
It bothers me slightly but its just me being slightly possesive, and i try and squash that monster when it pops up so i say nothing.
I had an Ex on facebook and I deleted him and all of his friends when FI and I got together, he did not ask me, i just thought about how I would feel if the role was reversed and i acted accordingly. I have since let a few of the friends back on facebook, but they tried to start problems and bring up baggage so i deleted and blocked them.
If they cannot play nice, then they get kicked out of the sand box , I say.
I think it's only a problem if the ex themselves are a problem. I have pretty much always left relationships on good terms (I don't hang out with my ex's but I don't have hard feelings towards them) so I've got no problem with havin them on facebook. However, I had one ex who got a little weird and tried for quite a long time to get me back, so he's totally blocked from FB.
For my guy I'd expect the same - it's only necessary to block and ex if there is a specific reason to do so.
I'm a total hypocrite! I do not like it when my FI has exgirlfriends or exhook ups on his facebook. I have never had many serious boyfriends. I had one that was 3-4 months that was serious to me, but not to the guy haha. My FI dated a girl for 3 years on and off and another girl for 6 months.
Most of my exboyfriends and I did nothing but kiss. I had an exboyfriend on my friends list that I actually deleted yesterday. He was my boyfriend from when I was 16 (I'm now 23) and we dated for 2 months. To me that is nothing and he was nothing special. Our relationship didn't matter because we were so young and sooo wrong for each other. I accepted his request to be nice, but I noticed that he wasn't on in a long time, so I figured now was as better time as any to...delete him before he realized haha.
I had another exboyfriend on my facebook awhile ago. I dated him for 3-4 months a year before I met my FI. He was my longest boyfriend prior to my FI. I was in love with him back in the day. Anyway, I had him as friends just to be...friendly? I don't know I always felt bad deleting him because he was actually a really nice guy. He just had some psychologcal issues, so we didn't work out. One time I deleted him and he messaged me telling me that it hurt his feelings that I deleted him....eventhough he and I NEVER talked on there and would NEVER see each other again because he lives in Michigan and I in Pennsylvania. It was a summer romance. I added him back and then deleted him shortly.
I usually just add/accept exes to stalk them (I sound like such a creeper haha), but to also show them how much better off I am without them! Most of them were trashy and are still going no where in life.
I have all my ex's on my fb besides the one right before my FI (because we had a baddd breakup and because we were engaged). My FI had his ex wife on his but removed her after he proposed because someone started sending us anonymous emails trying to break us up and we deleted anyone we thought it could be. He doesn't care and neither do I.
FI and I each have 1 serious ex. I'm not friends with my ex in person or on Facebook, cause when you break my heart, you get CUT FROM MY LIFE! LOL. FI and I are both friends with his ex cause she's awesome, her and her boyfriend will definitely be invited to the wedding.
My FI and I have been together 5 1/2 years and he lives with 2 of my ex's as house mates. Its no biggie. Since we've been together so long all ex are really old realationships.
my ex hid his entire FB account from me and flat out lied that he had facebook. he was flirting with girls on fb and didnt want me to find out.
with my current guy he doesn't have his ex on there. i'm glad that he doesn't because it would probably upset me. i tend to be a bit more jealous than i like to be :(
i obviously dont have the ex who lied about fb on my account but i have an ex from 8 years ago on there because we are really really good friends.
I'm pretty much anti-any ex...because of the circle we come from. Most of his exes are not the type to give up or let go. Therefore...I want no contact.
we each have old ones from high school... so long ago that they pose absolutely no threat.
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