Post # 1
I am a few weeks out from telling anyone about our pregnancy (aside from close family members a few close friends), but I have already been thinking about this a lot.
My background: DH and I were TTC for 15 months and suffered one early miscarriage before we finally got our (so far) sticky BFP last month. I have not been active of facebook for a while, because seeing all of the pregnancy announcements was just too hard. Now that I have my own good news to share I do want to share it on facebook for all the world (aka my friends and family) to hear… but I would like to do it in a way that acknowledges how difficult it is for some people to conceive. When we were TTC I felt like everyone was getting pregnant on the first try, and those who do struggle don’t seem to make that struggle public.
I thought about posting something like, “After a lot of waiting, prayers and a prior loss, Mr. Rain and I are excited to share that Baby Rain is due to arrive this summer!”
What do you ladies think? The alternative option is to not make a public facebook announcement and just let it come out naturally over time.
Post # 3
Too early and risky IMHO. Could u wait til further down the line?
Post # 4
@missrain: I don’t see any reason why you need a disclaimer for a facebook post announcing your pregnancy. That said, I wouldn’t do any facebook announcement until I was safely into second trimester.
As much as it hurts to see that other people are pregnant when you are trying, it isn’t like they post it on purpose to make you sad. I think other people get that.
Post # 5
I had a friend who had trouble conceiving and was a high risk for miscarraige. She was told to wait and not tell anyone just in case something happened. She felt that if something did happen, she did not want to sit there and greive in silence. She felt it was better to celebrate the pregnancy, and God forbid if something happened, she would announce that too when she felt ready so her family and friends could greive with her. FTR she has a healthy son. But, she was prepared to be open about the experience had it not gone well.
Post # 6
@missrain: I think most people know it is hard to conceive so you dont have to make a huge announcement. Your family can know, but as far as facebook, not necessary. I would wait to tell facebook until you are into the second trimester and tell your family just before maybe a week or two.
Post # 7
@missrain: First, congrats on your pregnancy. I assume you are still in the first trimester according to a summer due date? If so, I would wait to say anything until you are in the 2nd trimester, especially if you’ve suffered a loss before. I hope I word this delicately enough, but if you avoided FB to avoid announcements and even talking about your own loss, I would do the same when it comes to this pregnancy just in case. I think telling your support system like parents, friends, and siblings would be great, but FB can stay out of it utnil you are in a safer time frame.
Post # 8
I like the idea of waiting till you know the sex. That said, do you think a post like yours would have made you hopeful after the miscarriage? I still think it would be just as hard as any other pregnancy announcement.
I would hold off on fb. If they don’t know you well enough to know by word of mouth, then they don’t need to know.
Disclaimer: I got rid of FB four years ago.
Post # 9
You know how those announcements used to make you feel? A baby announcement is one thing, but if someone is close enough to know, they are also close enough to hear the news from you directly, either by a call, visit or note or in the ordinary course of events.
Post # 10
I have to FB friends that have really struggled with infertility.
One had a previous loss. She announced her pregnancy and then when the the anniversary of her miscarriage came around she recognized it with a post. I thought that was very simple and touching.
The other one is very vocal and has posted everything through her journey so the world knew about her IVF failures and past miscarriages when they happened. She has since adopted a son after five years of trying. I’m really happy for her but looking on the two examples I preferred how the first one handled it.
Post # 11
@missrain: Do whatever you’re comfortable with. Personally, we aren’t big facebook sharers and aren’t even announcing it on facebook. I definitely wouldn’t be comfortable sharing my struggles in a public manner, not that there is anything wrong with it, it’s just not us. I cut friends off my list every day and there are still quite a few people on there I need to delete since we aren’t close anymore and they just don’;t need to be privy to private information of mine.
Post # 12
Congrats! I am on the “no facebook announcement” boat. I am sorry; I am generally opposed to sharing that type of information on facebook.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t make an announcement like that, but if someone messages you and asks how you are feeling, and you feel comfortable enough to share, then I would.
Wait until your 2nd trimester.
Post # 14
I think that the draft wording you proposed in your original post is absolutely perfect. As for the timing, I think whatever you decide you’re comfortable with — including making the announcement immediately — is fine. Congratulations to you and your DH on this exciting and wonderful news!
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@missrain: I have a friend who’s ~6 months pregnant after several years of TTC (and maybe miscarriages – I’m not sure.) She waited until just recently to post to facebook, and the last line of her post said “It was a long road to get here, but the happy result feels all the sweeter for the journey.” I thought that was a really nice way to acknowledge that it hasn’t been easy, without getting into all the nitty gritty details.
Congrats on your pregnancy, and best of luck!
Post # 16
Thanks for your input, everyone!
Just to reiterate, I am a few weeks out from telling anyone about our pregnancy. Specifically, I am 7 weeks and not planning to say anything until we hit the second trimester. Over halfway there!
I understand that many of you don’t believe it is the kind of thing that should be put on facebook. My feeling is that the only things you ever hear on facebook are the good/braggy things, you don’t always hear about the struggles leading up to it. Statistically the likelihood is significant that I have friends on facebook who are struggling or have struggled in the past with trying to conceive. That is why I like the idea of sharing that aspect of our story, even if it is just to say “it hasn’t been easy”, or something similar.
I like what @lolot‘s friend said. I’m sure when the time gets closer I will talk to DH and we will decide what to do/say together.